The Unforgiving
by Nako13yeh
Summary: Horror Challenge. Loki receives a cursed gift made just for him. Nightmares and voices from the shadows haunt him. They think he's insane and no one believes him, not even Thor. Bent on breaking the curse, Loki disappears with no trace but the gift. He is sent into a world that brings fear known to humanity back to life. And it is up to Thor and the Avengers to bring Loki back.
1. Chapter 1 - Trepidation

**Title: **The Unforgiving

**Summary: **Horror Challenge. Loki receives a cursed gift made just for him. Nightmares and voices from the shadows haunt him. They think he's insane and no one believes him, not even Thor. Bent on breaking the curse, Loki disappears with no trace but the gift. He is sent into a world that brings fear known to humanity back to life. And it is up to Thor and the Avengers to bring Loki back.

**Some ideas from: **J.E.D.

**A/N: **Set a year and a half after _"Two Worlds of a Hero"_.

**Warnings: **Horror, Graphic Description of Death, Violence, Psychological Trauma, Gore, Blood-lust, Mentions of Sexual Abuse, Loki-whump/Angst.

* * *

**oOo**

**Chapter 1 – Trepidation**

Hate was such a strong word.

Despise was more of the term he'd use to describe everyone in Asgard. Of course, that included his brother, Thor. Loki loathed the fact that he and his brother continued to argue. Despite the fact that they've both reconciled, it still wasn't enough. He appreciated Thor's brotherly tendencies to protect him, but Loki had pride and dignity left in him to push that away.

He did not want to be coddled like a mere child.

Although the sentiment was appreciated, he'd rather keep it in close quarters.

Ever since Thor had found out what tortures and humiliation was given to him by the Chitauri, Thor wouldn't put it past him to allow Loki to live normally without a constant reminder of his past. His protectiveness over Loki grew to a point where it was unbearable for the younger sibling. Thanos and the Other were still out there, just beyond those stars, waiting and forming a way to break them slowly. Loki was one of those few things to be broken, so just in case something happened, Heimdall would alert them and the Avengers would be there to help out.

That was their deal.

Loki knew Thor was deluded in his goals. Possibly because of the overbearing thought of Loki's torture, but Loki found that utterly ridiculous. It was invading his privacy and ruining whatever trust and appreciation he had for his brother. Thor would not leave Loki be.

A year and a half of constant protection,

As if that wasn't enough.

Loki had no choice but to deal with it until he would finally snap and tell Thor off. Although somewhere deep inside Loki's heart, he found the sentiment quite endearing and _bitter-_sweet.

"Keep your shield up!"

"Like this?"

"You cannot stop and ask your enemy what is right! You must learn how to fight with instincts. Again!" _Clank. _"Again!" _Thud. _"You're not doing it right!"

"I—"

"Stand up!"

Loki sat quietly on the railings near the training grounds, leaning on the pillar with his legs neatly folded over the other. He was half listening to the warriors of Asgard fight left and right while half his attention focused on the book on his lap. Immersed in both, Loki couldn't help but overcomplicate things. In the middle of his thoughts, formed a distant memory that always resurfaced no matter how much he wanted it to go away.

"_We cannot hold him accountable for his crimes." _

That was what they had agreed upon.

He was lucky to be pardoned of his sinful acts, but not as lucky when it came to _acceptance_. The Aesir were harsh people. Once a rumor or truth surfaces around you, it cannot be undone. Their thoughts were easy to corrupt, and it was hard to persuade them that he was still the Prince of Asgard.

—And Jotunheim.

Nobody wanted a Jotun prince in the palace.

No one.

The only fault that Loki could never forgive was the fact that Odin let slip the truth of his heritage to all of Asgard's people. They despised him, loathed him, and belittled him even more. Some feared him, but most of all, they questioned his very existence.

"_They will adjust to the truth." _Odin had spoken that day. _"No more lies." _

Loki would rather drown in lies than to be filled with unforgiving truths that would no less be his future demise. He also did not like the fact that Thor had entrusted the knowledge of his torture to the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. Loki could understand that Thor had to explain certain tortures to his parents, but to allow his friends to know of his brother's humiliation at the hands of the enemy? That was something Loki could never understand.

"My Prince, what has you in such a foul mood?"

Loki looked up to see one of Thor's dashing friends trying to pry answers from him. He detested their very existence and wanted to shy away, but it was too late for that.

"Hello." Loki said dryly.

They were no friends of Loki.

The Avengers were considered close allies, possibly even in friendly standards given their time together, but the friendship being offered by the Warriors four was not for him. Loki believed they only put up with him because Thor could not stand seeing Loki live alone forever. Loki could care less if they suddenly and spontaneously combusted right in front of him. He would have happily danced on their ashes and be on his merry way to freedom.

But freedom was always fleeting.

"Well my Prince?"

"What do you want, Fandral?"

"A mere conversation," He urged. "If you would allow me this?"

Loki strongly agrees with the belief that Fandral was put to the task of asking since he was the least candidate to start an argument with. After all, with Fandral's charms and _slight _fancy for Loki, it would have been a good starter. If not for the fact that Loki was in a completely foul mood today.

"Do not concern yourself in matters not worth the risk." Loki jabbed without a second thought. "There are plenty of things that have me in a foul mood. One of them is your face."

"Such cruelty," Fandral sighed. "Coming from you, Loki, it hurts."

"If this is about Thor, you should go away." He turned back to his book.

"But Loki, I cannot do that. Not until we know what is going on with you and your brother."

Loki looked at the middle of the training ground and found Sif, Hogun and Volstagg staring at him. They immediately turned their heads away as if the scene did not happen. Loki huffed uncharacteristically and closed his book in frustration. He lowered his legs off the railing and stared directly at the nervous warrior standing in front of him.

"If you wish to know, consider it done."

"Oh."

Loki glared at him. "I abhor each and every single one of you."

With that, Loki dropped from the railing and walked away, leaving Fandral to question his answer. He was bewildered at the sudden sternness of Loki's character, that some part of him feared it. Fandral walked back to his friends, who were eager to know what was going on. Fandral had nothing but a disappointed answer to give them.

"I believe he wishes to be alone." Fandral frowned.

"He's been doing that for days now." Sif crossed his arms.

"And he has not slept properly."

"Why is that?" Volstagg wondered.

"Thor said that he is plagued with nightmares." Hogun answered. "It started a few months ago, and is gradually getting worse."

"Why hasn't he gone to see the Healers?" Fandral wondered. "Or even the All-Father or the All-Mother?"

"Loki has pride left in him, Fandral." Sif argued. "He wouldn't tell a soul, not even if it is already obvious in his features. I do not like what's happening, but I cannot ignore Thor's distress in this. It is affecting all of us. Not just Loki."

"They have been arguing a lot." Fandral added. "Trying to find out would be weaving yourself into numerous threads of false answers and getting lost in them. There is just no way of knowing which is up or down when it comes to our Princes. They have been through plenty of horrid things, especially Loki. I cannot fully blame him—"

"No one blames him."

"Ah, but Sif, that is where you are wrong!"

"Do tell, Fandral."

"Loki has not been accepted back into our ranks, even if he has the title for it."

"I must agree." Volstagg patted his belly sadly. "Ever since Loki returned, nothing has been the same. We were wrong about the boy, and no matter what we do, his hatred of us still lingers."

"He has a reason to keep it." Sif muttered.

* * *

**oOo**

"What do I do?"

"Oh stop being a child, Thor."

"But Mother—"

Thor lounged savagely on his parent's bed, staring at the ceiling with nothing but frustration building inside of him. Frigga, the calm mother, did all she could to end Thor's worried thoughts about his brother. But Thor was too stubborn and insistent on the fact that Loki could not be left on his own. Frigga was quite adamant in trying to restore the very thin thread that both Thor and Loki tread upon.

"I am sure that your brother is having difficulty adjusting." Frigga said. "Being so far from home could lead to distress."

"A year and a half is not enough for him?"

"Thor, you know as well as I do that whatever Loki had encountered in the past will never be easy to deal with in the future. Trauma is not something you could easily get rid of. Whatever you saw and went through would be a burden to you both. Being the older brother, you must understand. Loki had been through more than you did in such a short span of time. To him, it is an eternity."

"Is that what he told you?" Thor lifted himself using his elbows.

"Hmm…" She looked away.

"Mother, I wish to help Loki."

Frigga sighed and took Thor's hand and glided her thumb over it comfortingly. Thor sat upright and stared at her. She was the very embodiment of what a mother should be and Thor was lucky to have her.

"Listen well, my son." Frigga softly spoke. "You have to let Loki do as he pleases. It has been long since he had been himself and you pressing his issues on him are not helping."

"But—"

"Let me finish. You adding to his frustrations when all of Asgard is already breathing down his neck are not right. You know how stubborn Loki is and how he deprives himself of any help, thinking that he does not deserve it. It is a defense mechanism that every person with trauma deals with. In your brother's case, he has many issues. He will fight, and he will break down, but you must be there for him. Wait until he comes to you."

"I am trying." Thor frowned.

"Try harder." Frigga smiled. "Only when he is ready."

"I fear for him."

"There is nothing we could do that won't aggravate him further."

"His nightmares, Mother. It is getting worse and he is not seeking any help."

"And you think I do not know that?" Frigga shook her head. "I am his Mother, Thor. I know what is plaguing him. He has not been sleeping these past few months and I cannot dictate what goes through his mind. He is his own worst enemy, Thor. Give it time."

Thor closed his eyes and announced.

"I feel horrid, Mother."

"Wait until the time is right."

"What should I do for the time being?"

"Go to your Father, Thor." Frigga patted his hand. "He is busy, but he will speak to you. You are his son first and foremost an important person in his life. The nine realms could wait a few minutes more for a son wanting advice."

"You are always so kind and compassionate." Thor smiled. "Thank you, Mother."

"Heed my words, Thor."

"I will."

* * *

**oOo **

Thor paced, stumbling through the throne room while Odin sat there like a disturbed Father, trying to understand his son who is very confused as to what to do to make amends. Odin listened to Thor continuing to complain about his squabble with his brother and Odin did not look amused at the slightest. He sat there looking slightly bored, yet was attentive at listening.

"Father, I know this is not how you work, but I already asked Mother and she said to give it time." Thor sighed. "A year and a half is more than enough time to adjust."

Odin nodded.

"I admit that I was at fault for saying such horrid things to Loki about his time with the Chitauri, but Loki is at fault as well. He does not trust that I will always be there—"

Odin raised a hand to stop him.

"I know how this story goes."

"Father—?"

"I am sure that you could give him something for the trouble." Odin mumbled absently. "The two of you have been arguing day in and day out yet you always make amends in the end. You should be used to this by now, Thor."

"I know." Thor nodded.

"Do what you think is right. I may not have been a good Father to Loki, nor am I to you, but I am sure that once you find a way to console, everything will return to normal."

"Nothing is the same anymore."

"Thor, I am not the right person you should be talking to in this kind of situation." Odin stood up and walked towards him, patting him on the shoulder. "You've gone to your Mother, and she has already given ample advice. I do not think my words will be of much use to you."

"Yes, Father." Thor nodded.

"Go find your brother. I am sure he misses you by now."

Thor nodded again and wondered what he should do to make amends.

Odin had long since walked away to tend to the issues concerning Aesir's everywhere while Thor decided to run off back to his room to think. Thor knew that being a Prince was hard. There were duties to uphold, lectures to attend to and the formation of an image that would ensure regality and perfection.

He had all of that, and yet he questioned what would happen if he became King.

He had once thought being a Prince meant nothing but grace, an easy life, good status and happiness, but now that he was wiser, he knew that it meant so much more. Now that he was closer to being King, he knew the tasks would be much harder and far less amusing as he once believed. There were duties to the Lords, the people and the council that you had to fulfill, war strategies you had to make, courts you should attend to and many other that Thor would rather not dive into.

For now, his thoughts were of Loki.

He took notice of the idea of giving Loki a gift.

His brother liked plenty of things that were out of the ordinary. Thor recalled one moment in their childhood that Loki had begged him to win one of those skeletal trinkets during a match. Thor had won it and Loki was happy. He could also recall his brother's collection of odd objects. There were vials, Dragon skins, crystals, ancient scrolls, a few pendants and lockets in his collection. Loki never wore or used some of them. At least, not that Thor had seen Loki touch them, but he knew Loki cherished each item with his heart.

A gift was a good idea to start an apology.

"_A gift it is then." _Thor thought.

* * *

**oOo**

Night passed quickly.

Already in his night clothes of a soft silky green tunic embroidered with gold linings, Loki laid on his bed. He stared at the ceiling with a book on his chest. For the whole day, Loki had stayed in his room, spent his lunch and dinner inside and continued to sulk silently.

Loki questioned the thought of what the Avengers were up to. Loki knew that Thor longed to return to Earth and see the Avengers and that mortal, but the only problem was Thor's protectiveness of him. It stops Thor from visiting them.

"_Norns, not again." _He moaned.

Loki dropped the book on the floor and curled up on the bed.

He groaned and closed his eyes in pain.

He allowed the moment to pass, knowing there was nothing to fight it off. The nausea went on and off, and Loki hated it. It wasn't an illness, nor was it much of an issue.

It was just disturbing that Loki always had that dizzy feeling.

Lately, whenever he encountered sleep, the nightmares plagued him and prevented him from having a good night's rest. He never spoke of it in fear of worrying his family, but he knew it was obvious in his features. Loki yawned and was thankful the nausea left.

He just wanted one peaceful night of rest.

Was that too much to ask for?

Knock. Knock.

"_About time," _Loki expected the arrival. "The door is open."

Loki continued to lie there as he stared at his brother walking into the room.

Thor had closed the door silently and strode towards Loki. Loki looked sickly from the lighting, and he questioned why Loki did not get up from the bed to greet him. Thor also noticed the light was dimmed, but to the point where Loki could still read. Apparently, Loki wanted to stay half awake and to half succumb into slumber.

Thor was rather observant today and noticed the disregarded book on the floor. When Thor reached Loki's bed, his brother made it difficult for him.

Something was wrong.

"Are you well?" Thor asked.

Loki merely looked up and stared.

Thor saw those dull green eyes before and it usually meant that Loki was not quite in good shape. Thor missed Loki's bright green eyes that showed mirth, mischief and chaos, but most of all, happiness. Ever since Loki returned to Asgard, Loki's green eyes remained dull and disturbed.

"If it's all the same to you, I am humbly sorry for saying horrid things to you," Thor muttered, and sat next to him, making the bed dip and Loki groan in annoyance. "You do not want to relive those memories, yet here I am, always reminding you of them—"

Loki raised a hand to stop him.

"Loki, I'm only trying to—"

"Did you go to Mother?" Loki asked.

"I did." Thor nodded, staring at Loki trying to sit up.

"What did she say?"

"She said that I must wait and offer an apology. She told me whenever you are ready, I should go to you. I felt that now might be a good time before we both sleep uncomfortably."

"What else?"

"I told Mother you've adjusted, but that is pretty much the only lie I can allow myself to believe."

"Never took you for a liar." Loki sat there, hugging his knees.

"I was never good at it." Thor gave up and spoke. "I also went to Father as Mother advised, but he never really helped."

"That's because you are a stubborn child."

"My words are sincere, Loki. I wish for peace, and I want my loving brother back."

"I was never a loving person." Loki shrugged.

"Now who is the liar?" Thor smiled. "We all know that your heart is bigger than you think. You cherish love given to you and you give love strongly. This is the reason why you break twice as much—"

"I forgive you."

"— and, wait…What?"

"Don't make me repeat it." Loki looked away.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Humor me, Loki." Thor frowned. "Why?"

"Mother said her piece to you. The All-Father wasn't much of a help and you did not spend time with the warriors four. You endured my silence and your disgruntled conscience. So consider this a heartfelt punishment that you more than deserved. So I forgive you."

"I was not expecting that."

"What more do you want, an embrace?" Loki chuckled. "No, do not answer that. That was rhetorical."

Thor stared at Loki for a few moments and noticed Thor's lingering stare. Loki sighed and nudged Thor, who snapped out of his daze and continued to frown at Loki. Loki did not like the attention he was getting from his brother and he knew that look more than anything else.

It was Thor's _concerned_ face.

"You are really difficult to look at." Loki honestly said.

"What has you so troubled?"

"Perhaps I've merely grown tired of being alone." Loki fisted the sheets with his other hand. "I've already done that far too much and doing so again will surely corrupt me. With Thanos and the Other still out there our future seems—"

"Do not think of it."

"How will I do that?" Loki admitted. "I'm sure you already know that they plague me each night. There's no escape."

"Have you thought to see the healers?"

"What is the point?"

"Loki, they might have an idea on how to help you." Thor insisted.

"And allow Asgard to mock me further? I'd rather endure a lifetime being plagued with nightmares than to live in a world where I am not wanted. They already hold me at arm's length. I do not want to be pushed farther away. I was once their Prince, Thor. Now I am no more than just a title without any meaning to it."

"I do not think of you that way." Thor patted Loki's head like a child.

Loki slapped his brother's hand away.

"Stay the night, won't you?"

"Do you truly want me to?" Thor raised an eyebrow.

"Will you stay or not?" Loki huffed. "You are more than welcome to leave."

"I will stay."

Loki watched as Thor crawled to the other side of the bed, lay flat on his stomach and buried his face on the pillow. Loki laughed and crawled next to him and pulled the sheets up to both their waists and laid on his side, curling into a ball. Loki waved his hand and used _magic_ to dim the lights a little more, enough to be able to sleep. Thor peeked from the pillow and noticed that Loki was merely staring at him.

"What?" Thor asked.

"You are so silent." Loki mumbled.

"Does my silence bother you? Last time I checked, being noisy got me kicked out of your room."

"Silence in general does not bother me, brother, but yours does. Your face does this strange expression that I cannot describe. It happens when you are anxious to voice out an opinion or idea."

"I was thinking of giving something to you." Thor sighed.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Why ever so?"

"So we would make amends." Thor mumbled. "Now that you have forgiven me, I don't think that will be necessary anymore."

"Shame," Loki scowled. "I rather like peace offerings."

"You wish for a present?" He groaned, hoping that was not the case.

"Why? Have you given up?"

"I have not gotten it yet." Thor looked for an excuse. "You have to wait for the right time for me to give it to you."

"I never enjoyed surprises, but I do love receiving gifts." Loki laughed. "Just not those stupid ones that you brought to me when we were younger—"

"Don't." He grunted.

"But that is such a beautiful tale."

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that atrocious tale ever again."

"But it is amusing, brother."

"You almost told our friends of it." Thor spoke about the Avengers. "You made it clear what kind of gifts you'd rather have, and I learned my lesson. Never will I repeat another stunt such as that again."

"Those furry horned creatures called—"

"Loki—"

"—Goats."

"Ugh, brother!" Thor protested.

"But it is funny, Thor!" Loki continued to laugh. "I recall wanting to keep one of those furry horned creatures and you wanted to make it special. So you hoarded them in your chamber until it was time to hand it over to me. Never had I seen such an ill thought plan, and you also got caught. Though I must admit, that is one of the most memorable moments that I cherish until this very day."

"Glad to know you find humor at my expense."

"Your punishment was not horrible."

"Cleaning dung at the stables was a horrible punishment, Loki!"

"That tale aside, what is this present of yours supposed to be?" Loki innocently asked. "What should I expect from you?"

"No." Thor pouted. "You will not convince me into telling."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Do not act so innocent, Loki."

"Come now, Thor. Tell me and be done with it."

"No." Thor covered himself with the sheets and glared at Loki. "Sleep. Now."

"Fine."

"Good Night, Loki."

"Good Night, brother." Loki muttered as he watched Thor close his eyes.

A few minutes later, his brother was already snoring and Loki was still awake. Loki feared what nightmares would plague him now. Each time it was different, but often times it was the same thing over and over and when Loki was so close to understanding his nightmares, the _patterns_ change as if it was done on purpose.

Loki continued to watch Thor sleep.

He stared at his brother's chest move up and down and looked at Thor's peaceful face and his messy hair all over the pillow. Loki wanted to sleep the same way. He wanted to be able to _not _care about the way he slept or the way he was positioned. He just wanted to sleep peacefully the same way Thor was. It took hours, before sleep overwhelmed him.

And Loki could no longer fight it.

* * *

**oOo **

His thoughts rippled away from him piece by piece like shards of glass hovering above an empty space of darkness. His vision spun as he saw himself changing form in those mirrors. Crimson eyes and blue skin stood right in front of him.

A monster.

Loki twisted and turned from his sleep, groaning as he felt pain creep up to his chest, leaving him deprived of air. In that darkness, he clawed for a way out. He saw his breath form a misty chill as ice formed slowly in the mirrors and covered them whole, enough for the image to completely disappear.

"What is happening?" Loki breathed, feeling slightly cold when he should not be feeling it.

"**Loki." **

Loki spun at the call of his name, nobody was there.

Laughter echoed nearby.

Nothing but darkness along with the floating icy shards of mirror greeted him. The haughty sound of laughter continued to remind Loki of fear.

Who was it again?

What was his name?

For a moment, Loki seemed to have forgotten the familiar tone of the voice. Who was he? Whose voice was that from? Why couldn't he speak his _name? _What letter does his name start with? Who was he? That dark, demented, cruel and selfish voice, whose was it?

He couldn't remember.

Loki embraced himself and backed away slowly, hearing the same laughter echo around him over and over, mocking him. It was angry, loathing and unpleasant.

"**Such a good boy**—**" **

"_This is not happening." _Loki cursed.

He felt a ghostly touch from behind him and jumped, turning around. Loki saw blue, blue and red. There was blood, blood all over him. The blue, there was blue in front of him. He looked up, slowly, terrifyingly… those…. Those crimson eyes— were so resentful and disappointed.

"You…" Loki breathed, backing away.

"You killed me." Laufey moaned.

"I had to."

"You killed me." He repeated.

Loki was taken back, feeling the whole place spin on its axis. Laufey's words dug and carved deep like a dagger, making Loki feel incredibly uncomfortable. The man in front of him was dead. Loki thought he had forgotten Laufey, but apparently, his Father wanted him to remember.

"For him," Laufey gurgled with blood. "You killed me for— Odin."

"I had to!" Loki shouted.

"My _own _blood. My son, why?"

"I'm not your son!"

"Bast—ard."

Loki backed away slowly and felt his foot slip. He tumbled and fell, reaching up to grab whatever was nearest. There was a hand that caught him, sturdy yet old. Loki breathed heavily, looking down at his feet where the image of the void swirled into endless eternity.

Loki feared who caught him.

When he looked up, he saw Odin holding his hand tightly.

Odin looked disappointed to see him, and no sooner was Odin's grip loosened. Loki's eyes widened when he realized what Odin was about to do. Loki frowned and tried to pull himself up, but Odin shook his head.

"Please, don't." Loki begged. "Father?"

"You are no son of mine."

And Odin released him. Loki fell, unable to scream. His voice was deprived of any sound as he was sucked into the void, rippling through the darkness. He attempted to claw his way out, but he fell back from where he started and sat up furiously.

Surrounded by darkness, he didn't move.

"**The sight of you sickens me." **

Loki heard something sharp grind hard at metal.

It screeched in his ears and he turned around to face the Other lustily walking towards him. Loki stood up and felt a sharp pain on his side that brought him to his knees. Loki looked up to see the Other grinning at him. It held the dagger up to strike and that was the moment Loki felt panic rise up in his chest, making his breathing labored.

For a moment, his heart stopped.

"Noooo!"

Loki jolted awake from his bed as sweat trickled down his forehead. He hadn't realized he was clutching the sheets far too tightly, almost tearing them apart.

"_It was just a dream." _Loki swallowed. _"A nightmare." _

Loki felt something in the pit of his stomach, making him nauseous. He bolted out of the bed towards the bathroom, only to trip on a large wooden trunk, sending him toppling to the floor.

"What in the Norns?" Loki screamed, sitting up.

Loki eyed the dark and mysterious wooden box on the floor. He stretched a hand over it to touch the carvings on the edges. All of a sudden, Loki's nausea left him, and Loki was completely enamored with the intricate carvings of the trunk.

"What is this?" He murmured.

Forgetting his nausea, Loki tilted his head and brushed his finger over the object. He traced the runes that carved its edges, and he could not make it out. The carvings were half Asgardian and something completely different at the same time. Loki found himself fascinated by the sheer rarity of it.

"Where did this come from?" Loki stood up. "Could it be?"

He then noticed a letter that was neatly folded and placed to stand up on his bed side table. Loki walked over to it, picked it up and unfolded it.

_Loki,_

_I left early so I could hunt with the warriors three and Sif.  
You were resting peacefully so I didn't wake you.  
Hopefully you'll understand._

_Love, Thor._

Loki titled his head in confusion and questioned whether this strange trunk came from his brother. There wasn't any other note indicating it was, and Loki couldn't help but overthink it. Loki curiously and excitedly wondered what it was.

Loki lowered himself to the floor and tried to pry it open, but it wouldn't budge.

"Great, a trunk that would not open."

Loki sat there, feeling betrayed.

He waved his hand to try and unlock the trunk by magic, but the green energy he released dispelled itself and disappeared.

"Strange." He voiced out.

Loki blinked in confusion and tried again. The trunk was protected by magic that made things more complicated than they should be.

"Where's the key?" Loki looked around his room. "It has to be in here somewhere."

He saw the keyhole in the middle and grunted in annoyance. He placed his chin on the bed and traced patters on the sheet with his finger.

Where would the key be?

A brilliant yet obvious idea came into Loki's head and he immediately propped himself up on the bed with his elbow and reached out for the _pillow. _He yanked it hard and threw it on the other side of the room and yes! The key was under it. The key was rusted and obvious from lack of use, but Loki figured it added to the mystery.

"Let us see what you are and where you came from." Loki smirked excitedly.

He turned to the object on the floor and placed the key into the hole and paused for a moment, allowing the excitement to build up. He turned the rusted key and it _clicked _with enthusiasm. Loki gracefully lifted the box with a smile, only for it to falter as quickly as it appeared.

"This must be a joke."

Loki reached for a dagger lodged in-between the headboard and the bed and poked the object inside the trunk. If this was from Thor, Loki didn't know what to expect from it. Loki scowled further when nothing happened. He dropped the dagger next to him and picked up the object with both hands.

Loki could feel dark energy radiating of it.

"Very funny." He mumbled.

He held it by its ribs as a mother would a child.

"You are one terrifying child."

It was a creepy looking toy shaped of a _new born _babe.

The left side of its head was split open right above its eye with barbwires attached, as if it was sewed there on purpose. The color of red stained its left side as if it was oozing blood while its ears were half bitten off.

The doll had white orb-like eyes like crystals that reflected your image.

"Poor thing." Loki scowled.

He just couldn't keep his eyes off it.

"Who would do such a thing to a child and think it's pleasant to create you?"

The child's teeth were crooked and were all over the cheek and mouth. It protruded itself in different angles piercing through skin. Loki touched it and felt its sharpness, like tiny daggers wanting to draw blood.

"Such cruelty and indecency."

Half of the doll's face was full of angry scratches, also stained with red. When Loki trailed its eyes down to the child's neck, it was gruesomely sewed into a circle around the neck, right at the top of where the collarbone should be, as if to attach it. Everything else below looked as if it was burnt to crisps, still looking like molten flesh and skin that matched with bloodstains.

"If you really came from Thor, this means war." Loki sneered, huffing in annoyance. "If he thinks this is funny, oh ha ha!"

Loki placed the doll back into the trunk, but didn't bother to close it. Loki immediately took some clean sets of clothes from his drawer and brought them to the bathroom. He washed his hands first, because the _skin_ on the doll felt so real and disgusting that he wished to smear it off.

He took a bath first and continued to think about the doll.

Whoever gave it to him, if it was Thor or not, he had to know. There was no one else in his room but Thor, so who else should it be but his brother? That was the only logical explanation. Loki figured he'd ask Thor or Heimdall about it later.

Loki lowered himself peacefully in the water and scrubbed his body clean.

If it was Thor, where would he even find such an object anywhere in Asgard? Unless he and his friends made it, that was very unlikely.

_Thud. _

Loki stopped scrubbing and turned his attention to the door. He listened closely, allowing the water from the bath to settle silently.

_Thud. _

There it was again.

Loki got out of the bath and wiped himself dry with a towel and quickly changed into his clothes. A menial task and it took only a few minutes. When he got out of the bathroom and walked out the door, he stopped dead at his tracks, unable to process the idea.

"What in the Norns?"

The doll lay out like a child on the bed, half embracing the dagger that he placed right next to the trunk. Loki scowled and slowly walked forward, looking at the door and waited for something to happen.

Loki waved a hand to touch it with magic but it dispelled the same way as before. Loki crept forward and sat on the bed with his hair dripping wet.

He stared at the doll intensely.

"How did you get over here?" Loki questioned.

Thor was out on a hunt, so it wasn't possible for it to be him.

The only _logical _explanation was for someone to sneak into his room and change the dolls position while he was in the bath. _How utterly brilliant! _Loki could have sworn he broke a vein somewhere inside his brain at the sheer stupidity of the idea, and to think he believed he was getting through the people of Asgard.

It must've been a maid or a guard.

"Stay here, creepy doll."

He ordered, knowing full well he was talking to an inanimate object.

* * *

**oOo**

Thor and his friends finally returned from an early morning hunt not far from the outer walls of Asgard. He had woken to find something rare to skin off to add to Loki's collection. Of course, he decided to bring the warriors three and Sif along to make it easier and bearable.

Right now, they were at the training grounds waiting for Loki to wake up. Thor unhooked a small pouch from his belt and stared at the glowing crystals inside. It came from a huge beastly creature they killed who tried to sneak off with it.

It was a rare crystal.

"Do you think Loki will appreciate your gift, Thor?" Fandral smirked.

"I know he will." He smiled. "We merely have to wait."

"Are you sure he will not storm off in anger like he used to whenever you give him gifts?" Sif raised an eyebrow. "You know how he is. He hates everything that involves hunting."

"Not everything." Thor shrugged.

"He hates skinning for fur." Volstagg mumbled.

"Loki hates things covered with blood." Fandral pointed out and counted the times Loki yelled at them for it. "He hates those that smell foul, and are half alive and in need of mercy killing. Oh, we should be glad Thor did not pick one of those. That would have been terrible. We've already been through enough squabbles to last a lifetime."

"A lifetime?" Sif snorted. "You are barely half into your life!"

"The day I shall enjoy, will be the day you age, Milady."

Sif knocked Fandral off the stone railing and onto the sandy training ground. Leaving the other warriors and Thor included to laugh at Fandral's ridicule. Sif blushed embarrassingly while Fandral laughed along with them, knowing full well it was a joke. He lifted himself back up to sit with them on the stone railing to relish the childish moment.

"Good times." Volstagg smiled. "Fandral is right. Dear Thor always gets into Loki's nerves."

"You lack faith in me." Thor bellowed.

"Look! It's Loki!" Fandral pointed. "Loki! Come join us!"

Loki walked past the bridge and into the arch, ignoring the beautiful view of the peaceful waters and the blooming flowers potted in perfectly made marble vases. Loki had a confused expression, equaled with disappointment, dismay and held secrets that leave people guessing.

"He is not happy." Hogun addressed.

"He must've heard people whisper nothing but harsh words behind his back." Sif said.

Loki stopped right in front of them as they all turned their attention to him. Thor hopped off the ledge and reached out for the pouch of crystals, but Loki stopped him before he could even try.

"Brother?"

"Loki?" Thor innocently asked.

"May I talk to you alone?"

"Of course." Thor turned to his friends. "Excuse us."

Thor pulled Loki by his wrists and pulled him into an empty hallway with nothing but a good view of Asgard in their sights. Large pillars with billowing curtains stretched to the far end of the hall where the railings connected. Thor stopped them in the middle and Thor frowned at his brother with concern. Loki fidgeted slightly and stared at the ground.

"Did— did you forget something last night?"

"If you are talking about the letter," Thor spoke. "I left it there on purpose."

"No," Loki shook his head. "Not the letter."

"What is it?" Thor dropped his hand to his side. "You look troubled. Are you well?"

"Just disturbed," Loki mumbled incoherently. "I wanted to know about this morning. Perhaps you left a certain trunk in my room and left the key under my pillow—"

"Loki, I don't understand you."

"I— well, you know how I have a knack for things that are not preferred by other people, but this is just absurd and ridiculous."

"What are you talking about, Loki?" Thor laughed. "You are not making much sense."

"Wait." Loki scrunched his face. "When did you return from the hunt?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Stop repeating what I'm saying, Thor." Loki crossed his arms. "It's not funny."

"_You _are funny." Thor smiled. "I haven't done anything. I swear it. Whatever it is that has you questioning me, it is not of my doing. Ask Heimdall and he will tell you that I have not been anywhere near your room since I left this morning."

"Is that so?" Loki scowled.

"Believe me, brother." Thor smiled. "Now, I wanted to give you this."

Thor took Loki's palm, opened it and placed the pouch on his hand.

"What is this?"

"My present to make amends."

"Oh."

"Enough with the _Oh, _Loki," Thor laughed. "I figured now would be the best time instead of making you wait. You look troubled so maybe it would ease your worries."

Loki looked at him with confusion.

"Go on. Open it"

Loki untangled the knot and allowed whatever was inside to roll into his palm. They were beautiful glowing crystals and Loki found himself mesmerized by the soft glow of its colors.

"Do you like it?"

"I— I have no words to say." Loki bit his lips. "I'm so confused, Thor."

"Why are you so confused?" Thor grimaced. "Do you not like it?"

"I love it but— but— it's just—"

"But it is not of your liking."

"What?"

"It's alright, Loki." He breathed, knowing it was too good to be true. "Just be honest with me and I will accept whatever you say, but no more lies. Please."

"No, I just thought," Loki shook his head "I was wrong, brother. You were part of the theory I had earlier, but now I'm just confused. There's this thing in my room. A child."

"A child?"

"Not a real one, you Oaf."

"Be more specific."

"I thought it was you who was trying to— to scare me." Loki admitted. "There's this doll that looked as if it was tortured and I figured since you were the only one in my room last night, that it might've been you who was doing those things. I don't know if it was a joke on your part because we fought but—"

Thor frowned at him.

"But I was wrong—"

"You are."

Thor scowled and started to walk away, looking a bit offended.

"Where are you going, Thor?" Loki blinked.

"To think."

"Thor, wait!" Loki followed after him. "Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain, Loki." Thor grunted, completely offended. "It's fine. I understand."

"No you don't." Loki breathed.

"Loki—"

"I just thought that you might've left me a present before you left!"

"Why would I do that?" Thor stopped for a moment and turned back at him. "You _know _how I relish your reactions to my gifts. Why would I leave you alone to not witness it?"

"I just thought—"

"I've given you a gift to make amends, what more do you want?" He turned to another empty hallway. "I am not begging you to accept any apology from me. You've forgiven me, yes, I can understand that, but at least consider my thoughts and feelings when you accuse me of such acts."

"Brother, please."

Thor stopped, because he knew that _tone. _

It was sincere.

"Please, brother."

Loki begged, and Thor hated when Loki begged.

It brought ideas back into Thor's head of Loki's time with the Chitauri, the _interrogation_, the _beatings_, the _torture_, the _rape_ and the _humiliation_. It was too much. He could only imagine Loki bending over to their dark wills just to escape from the horror.

"I swear that's not what I meant, brother."

"It's fine." Thor turned to him. "I did not mean to be so dramatic."

Loki embraced Thor without a second thought, looping his arm around Thor's neck while the older brother stood there in shock. Thor slowly wrapped his arms around Loki's waist and frowned when Loki parted away from him with a forced smile.

"Apologies." Loki mumbled.

"You know I've changed."

"I do."

"I know you, Loki. You rage and hurt upon betrayal. You tear yourself apart by thinking too much of ill will. But remember this, any action I have towards you will never be of ill. Because if it is, then it is not _I, _do you understand?"

Loki nodded.

"Good."

"If it's all the same to you," Loki looked up. "I love the crystals, Thor."

"I'm glad you like them." Thor smiled. "Now what is this about a child that you accuse me of?"

"Get your mind out of that idea, Thor." Loki blushed.

"I am not thinking anything dirty, brother." Thor laughed. "But jests aside, what is it about a child?"

The mere mention of it caused Loki to spiral back into a certain _depression_ that Thor knew all too well. Thor took a step forward and caressed Loki's cheek with his finger and smiled at him. Loki looked up, calling for help through silence.

That was the signal Thor needed to help his little brother.

"None of that." Thor scolded.

"Thor, I received something horrid this morning." Loki explained. "I woke up to terrible nightmare, only to face myself with a reminder so disturbing, it terrifies me. It's not truly creepy, but the story behind it makes me question where it came from."

"Alright, let me see it."

* * *

**oOo **

"We should have asked Heimdall first." Loki said as they continue to walk through the halls to Loki's room.

"We'll ask later." Thor said. "It's still in your room, yes?"

Loki nodded.

"Alright."

Thor opened the door while Loki followed behind like a scared anticipating child. Loki stayed by the door while Thor looked around Loki's room to find where the doll was. Thor kicked the trunk that Loki had told him about, but there was nothing inside it.

"Is it still there?" Loki asked.

"No, it's not."

"How is that possible?" Loki scowled. "I left it right there."

"Maybe someone went into your room and took it." Thor said. "You said the doll had some sort of dark energy that is repelling your spells, yes?"

"Yes, that's true."

"Another sorcerer or witch must've made it." He shrugged.

"Don't be ridiculous." Loki scoffed. "If it was someone threatening me, Heimdall would have alerted any one of you."

"You're right."

Thor turned around to tell Loki that the doll was gone but stopped dead at his tracks when he saw the writing on the wall.

_D.E.A.T.H_  
_M.U.R.D.E.R._

The ink messily trickled down the wall, creating the illusion of the walls crying with dark ink.

"Loki, did you do this?" Thor asked a stupid question.

"Do what?" Loki walked forward to stare at the wall by the door. "I— I didn't— that wasn't there before."

"There's no one else with access to your room."

"Someone must've snuck in and did this, that's the only explanation." Loki panted silently. "And I left the doll on my bed with my dagger."

Thor looked at Loki with concern.

"Which dagger are we talking about?"

"The dagger you gave me years ago, engraved with a snake." Loki asked. "Why?"

"It's still with you." Thor pointed. "I felt it when you embraced me."

Loki reached out to the side of his waist where he usually hid his dagger and found that it was indeed with him, but how was that possible? He had left the doll there and he doesn't remember grabbing the dagger on his way out. Loki looked at Thor with pleading eyes.

"Thor—"

"I am not accusing you." Thor stated. "The doll isn't here, but the trunk is."

"I don't like this, brother." Loki's lips quivered. "I did not do this, I swear."

"I am not accusing you." He repeated.

"But—"

"It's fine." Thor knelt down to touch the trunk, tracing his finger over the etched symbols. "This is strange. I cannot make out these markings."

"I am not worried about the casing, or the writings on it." Loki frantically looked around his room. "I am worried about who took the doll."

"What does it look like exactly?" Thor chuckled. "Besides being a child, you never really elaborated much on it."

"It's not funny." Loki felt his breath hitch in panic.

"Calm down, brother." Thor stood up. "Do not panic. I know you how you are when you panic and lately we've been past that. You do not want to go back there again. We will call for help, do you understand?"

"Not yet."

"Loki—"

"We need to find the doll or whoever took it."

"Alright, but if it is not in your room, I will go to the guards immediately." Thor said. "Is that clear?"

"Agreed."

Loki looked around the bathroom, through his desks, trunks, closets and even under the bed. He found nothing. Thor on the other hand, scouted pretty much everywhere Loki had gone through, double checking if Loki might have missed it in his distress.

With luck, Thor saw a pair of molten like feet at the edge of Loki's bed. It was stuck between the dresser and the headboard, near the curtains. Thor lowered himself to check it. When Loki saw this, he grunted in frustration and slid down to sit by the door.

"It is useless Thor, I already checked there."

"I do not think you have."

Loki's eyes widened when Thor picked it up by its toes in disgust. The doll hanged limp upside-down from Thor's fingers. The doll was smiling crookedly through its sharp bloody teeth and stared at him with those orb-like eyes. Loki felt his breathing labored again, and felt the same ghostly chill he felt in his dreams.

"That's not possible." Loki quivered. "I checked—"

"You must have overlooked it."

"No!"

"Loki—"

"You know how I am with my things and how I work to find missing objects!" Loki shouted. "I do not simply _overlook _it, brother!"

"Calm down, Loki."

"I won't! It's not— not possible."

"Loki, it's fine." Thor said. "I could go to Father and have this checked."

"Someone is out to get me."

"Loki, you cannot—"

"How do you explain this then?" Loki shouted. "I didn't write that on my wall!"

"Loki, calm down."

"I—it's not p—possible!" Loki panted. "Some—one must've got— g—gotten inside m—my room."

Drowning.

He was drowning.

Thor hastily dropped the doll back in the trunk and shut it tight, locking it with the key and throwing the key on the bed. Loki was near tears as he felt the same drowning experience come back to life.

"They—they're out—out to get me." He continued to pant.

"Shh… it's alright."

Loki hadn't realized that Thor was already embracing him and rubbing his back to bring him back to comfort, but Loki just couldn't escape it.

Loki's eyes just continued to stare at the trunk, mesmerized and at the same time, fearing it. There was something about that object that brought back memories of his torture to him, and at the same time, something far too familiar.

And Loki could have sworn the trunk moved.

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think, it powers me to update faster! XD**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Forebodings

**oOo**

**Chapter 2 – The Forebodings**

Loki groaned and wearily opened his eyes to the brightness. He could hear a rustling sound right next to him and a faint whisper of apology. The light dimmed for his eyes to adjust. He turned to his side to see his Mother sitting on a stool, holding his hand in comfort.

"Where—" He croaked.

"You're in the healing rooms, darling." Frigga sighed sadly.

"How long was I out?"

"You've been out for nearly half the day." She said. "It's already afternoon."

"That long?" He groaned.

"Loki, you know how susceptible you are to emotional distress. You nearly had us running with worry, you silly boy."

"I'm sorry, Mother."

"It's fine." Frigga stroked his hair. "You lost consciousness, sending Thor in near hysteria. He could have sworn your heart had stopped beating."

"I don't remember thinking as much."

"When your mind overthinks, your heart races," Frigga patted his shoulder. "I do not want an incident like this again. There are times where we cannot avoid it but you have to try and prevent it. It's been a year, Loki. Your thoughts are your enemy."

"Mother—"

"You are safe as long as you are with us in Asgard. You would be the death of me, child."

"Please, do not say that." Loki sat up and trembled.

"I'm sorry, dear." She realized, covering her mouth. "I'm merely worried."

"I apologize as well."

"Your brother came straight to us right after he sent you to the healers." Frigga sighed. "We could barely understand your brother and feared he was also panicking."

"So you know what happened?" Loki frowned. "And the doll—"

"Nearly sent you to the grave when it gave you such a fright," Frigga shook her head in dismay. "I might have reacted the same way had I seen it myself."

"Where did it come from?" He said, slumping forward.

"We know not, but there is something dark about it. Despite its appearance, it is seemingly harmless despite the energy radiating off it."

"Harmless?" Loki was taken back. "But my room—"

"—is being righted and your belongings replaced."

Wait, Loki scowled for a moment and tried to think. What did his mother mean when she said it is being righted and his belongings replaced? Loki remembered the room to be just fine when they entered, except for the words written on the wall of course.

"What are you speaking of, Mother?"

"We found out that your room was half destroyed and is far worse than it appears." Frigga raised a hand to stop him. "It was an illusion. Your sheets were torn, your books disarrayed and your scrolls torn."

"How is that possible?" Loki fisted the sheets. "Heimdall would have—"

"Your brother asked the gatekeeper who did those things, but—"

She paused.

Frigga sat there, moving further away from Loki.

She stared at his green eyes with regret and sadness. Loki was offended, but chose not to express his dismay. He knew full well that his mother had reasons. He waited for Frigga to compose herself but was severely disappointed when she did. Lost was the mother he knew and out came the Queen of Asgard. Loki was not pleased with the sudden change.

"There was no one there."

"What?" Loki titled his head in confusion. "Are you saying _I _did those things?"

"Heimdall could not see you, Loki. You and your room were shielded from his view. There was nothing amiss. Nothing went past the gatekeepers gaze. There were none conspiring to harm you, none that were outside your room or through the halls."

"That is impossible." He scowled. "He is sure of this? Nobody went in or out?"

"None."

"What of the child?"

"Doll." She corrected.

"What is it?"

"Your brother brought it to us afterwards." Frigga shook her head. "No one knows where it came from. None of our scholars, war councils, or neighboring lords knew anything about it. It is disturbing and realistic that they know not who the creator is. The box however…"

She paused, making Loki anxious.

"What, Mother?"

"They said the runes on it are not readable and do not look like they exist."

"But they are shaped of runes—"

"Not of ours." Frigga stared. "They are darker, and long forgotten."

"They seem familiar."

"Oh, Loki." She lowered her gaze. "I don't know what to do with you or what else to tell you."

"You think I did this to get attention." Loki realized.

"No, Loki."

"Please, Mother. No more lies." Loki breathed. "I swear I did not do this. I would not act like this just to gain your attention."

"Loki, the verdict lies on where that doll came from."

"What does Odin believe?"

"Loki—"

"What does _Odin _believe?" He said more sternly.

"He believes in facts. We asked the Healers to see anything physical about you, and they found scars." Frigga watched as Loki subconsciously touched his _wrists_. "The scars were self-harmed and we know of the nightmares plaguing your dreams. I know that—"

"None of you had permission." Loki retaliated.

"They were orders of concern." Frigga stated. "Eir told us of the psychological trauma you are facing and how it is gradually getting worse. You've bottled it up for too long, dear. The Healers said you may have hallucinated due to your sleep problem. A symbol of your torture—"

"That's not true."

He refused to believe it.

"You must take it into consideration. We won't think any less of you if you break down, Loki. Please, you haven't been sleeping lately and it is getting worse. We are worried."

"I don't have a problem."

"We don't know that, dear."

"I did not do those things out of frustration, Mother!"

"We are not saying you did, but _you_ might not know you did." When Frigga reached to touch Loki, he flinched away. "You have to understand. We do not blame you, but at least consider it as a thought. We are completely worried about you."

"Worried for me, or condemning me as a mad man?" Loki bit his lips.

"You've been through much. Norns know how much!" Frigga cried out. "Whoever gave you that _thing _will be found, but the incident in your room is something else entirely. Your sheets were torn by your dagger, which you had."

"You're not listening to me, Mother." Loki glared. "I took the doll and left my dagger with it. I went into the bath and the next I found it on my bed with the dagger. This must've been a terrible joke."

"Loki." She cupped Loki's cheeks, staring at Loki's tearful eyes. "Even your brother suspects—"

"Thor said he does not accuse me."

"Either way, we don't know." She kissed his forehead. "The words on the wall speak of death and murder, which could mean a lot of things. Sleep is affecting you greatly, dear."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Accept a healer to—"

"No amount of healing will help me." Loki gritted his teeth. "I am not in need of therapy sessions. Almost all of Asgard's warriors don't go through Healers when they find trauma in their wake. I am not going mad! And this is not a product of sleep! It is not a coincidence!"

"I see." Frigga stood up.

Loki wanted to apologize, but she merely sighed and smiled at him.

"I'll go get your brother. He's worried sick about you."

With that, she left to find him.

Loki felt guilty.

* * *

**oOo **

An hour.

It took an hour for someone to return.

Thor entered the room without making his presence known. Loki was sitting on the bed with his knees up to his chest as he embraced them. Loki was tracing patterns on the sheets, much like Thor remembered Loki doing it to pass the time. He also did it in the cell back in the Helicarrier too.

"Loki," He called. "Are you well?"

"No." Loki merely answered.

"What ails you?"

"Nothing."

Loki palmed his face, feeling Thor's worry radiate off him. It made Loki feel heavier and made it harder for him to talk. He felt the bed dip right next to him, indicating that Thor sat next to him. He looked to his side as Thor's worried face shown a smile that Loki hadn't realized he'd_ miss._

"Why do you have that thing?" Loki pointed.

"Oh this?" Thor lifted the doll. "Well—"

"Wait," Loki blinked. "Where's the trunk?"

"They left it in the library."

"Why?"

"I do not know."

"No, not that." He shook his head. "Why did you take the doll?"

"I figured I'd return it to you."

"Why?"

"Well, brother," Thor decided to humor Loki's questions. "It came from you, did it not?"

"It's not mine."

"Well, it is yours for now." Thor urged for his brother to take it. "Do not worry, Loki. Nothing is wrong with it. They've checked."

"Are you not disgusted by it?"

"It is merely an outer appearance." Thor explained. "I find it revolting, but I am also saddened but I care not. It seemed like an antique, possibly older than us, so—"

"Good to know your opinion."

"Here, take it."

Fortunately for Thor, Loki took it without any hesitation.

Loki eyed the doll for a few moments and tried to think on what Thor had said. It was revolting, yet it was also sad that this doll looked like death. It made Loki remind himself that no matter how dirty he was or how he was violated, Thor accepted him back into his arms and helped him get back up to his feet. Thor believed in second chances and Loki was grateful for it.

"Do you not believe me?" Loki said softly.

"What do you mean?" Thor asked as Loki leaned towards him.

"Do you think I am mad?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Mother, Odin, Eir and the other Healers believe I am." Loki muttered, poking the doll's eye.

"I see."

"Do you?"

"I am not sure."

"How cruel of you," Loki frowned. "Go away."

"Loki," Thor whined.

"Go away."

Loki grimaced further when Thor embraced him from behind and looped his leg to Loki's other side, pinning him in the middle of his brother's body. Thor rested his head on Loki's right shoulder and continued to hug his little brother, making Loki feel safer and a little uncomfortable with the sudden affection.

He missed this.

"Thor, stop." Loki winced.

"Why?"

"Your beard is tickling me." He felt Thor breathing down his neck.

"Calm down first and I'll _slightly _move away." Thor grinned.

"I am calm." Loki lowered the doll and tugged at Thor's hair. "Now what happened exactly?"

"Ow." Thor grimaced. "What do you mean?"

"Thor."

"You deserve the explanation." He sighed. "Do you remember when I locked the doll in the trunk?"

Loki nodded.

"You panicked at the thought of someone trying to get you, and you lost consciousness afterwards." Thor breathed. "I tried to wake you, but your heart had stopped. I thought it was my imagination, because you were breathing the next moment. I ran to the healers and went straight to Mother and Father. They were so worried. You were pale, sweat beaded your skin and you looked half dead, immersed with nightmares."

"I do not recall dreaming anything." Loki leaned away from Thor, but stayed in his middle.

"You did, and we were horrified." Thor took the doll and poked its eye.

"Thor." Loki whined.

"What, you were poking its eye as well."

"That does not give you reason to harm it any further." Loki snatched it away from him. "Now what else happened?"

"When you were stable enough, I led them to your room and they were equally shocked when the illusion faded. I pointed the trunk and Father said he'd have a look at it. It is of dark magic, but they don't think it will do any harm."

"Won't it?"

Loki lifted the doll to take a good look at it.

"It looks real." Loki frowned.

"Aye, but it won't do anything." Thor said. "They've checked, I've told you before."

"What else?"

Loki absently lowered the doll and kept poking it in places to see what it would do. Thor merely stared at Loki for a while, wondering what was going through his brother's mind. When Thor gave up trying to guess, he looped his arms around Loki's waist, causing Loki to _squeak_ and glare at him.

"You were not paying attention." Thor smiled.

"Paying attention to what exactly?" Loki asked. "You were not talking."

"Mother stayed with you and I asked Heimdall. There was no entry, nor any malicious thoughts towards you. There are whispers here and there, but they know not to aggravate people who care about you. So trust me. No one went inside your room."

"I am not shielding myself from his gaze."

"Loki." Thor frowned.

"I'm not." Loki squeezed the doll and its head came off. "Oops."

"Here, let me." Thor took the head and returned it back to the doll's neck. "Look, brother— I am not accusing you of anything, but the moment I saw this doll, all I could think of was you and all the horrors you've faced. I am not blaming you until there is no evidence left. There is much behind this story, and I will stick to it before accusing you."

Loki grimaced.

"Do not give me that look, brother."

"Will I be free to leave the healing room?" Loki snatched the doll back.

"Aye." Thor sighed. "You can spend dinner with me."

"I don't want to—"

"Loki, I've managed to make you eat a lot of food when we returned to Asgard. Do not refuse me now. Now come, stand up and we shall take your mind off the incident in your room and your nightmares. Yes?"

"That sounds nice."

Loki gave up, and eyed the doll.

He fought against his thoughts, because what if they were right and he was wrong? His had nightmares plagued time and again, and he found it harder and harder to believe his _own_ story. Perhaps he was tired and the madness and delusion was getting to him.

Maybe it really was him who did that to his room.

But why does he only remember saying _"Stay here, creepy doll." _

And everything else was a blur.

The next thing he had known, he was standing in front of Thor to talk to him. Now that he thought more clearly, he ignored everything else and wanted to be straight to the point. Could it be that he was really going mad and he did not know it?

"Loki, I do not know what is happening." Thor said. "I know everything is overwhelming for you, but I am always here to help you."

Thor smiled with every kindness in his heart, and it made Loki swell with joy and relief, making him smile in return. Thor was overjoyed when he saw Loki's features perk up. He wasn't about to let this moment pass. Now that he had Loki's attention away from the doll, this was his chance.

"Come on."

* * *

**oOo **

Loki enjoyed the evening with his brother.

Odin did not speak to him about the incident, nor did Frigga. And Loki thanked the Norns for that. It was solely Thor who stayed with him through thick and think, and Loki relished every minute of it. He had skipped dinner with the _whole _family and spent it with Thor in the garden. It was better than spending time with anyone else. Thor said it was a good change of scenery and he'd rather not have a disturbing conversation during meal time about the doll. Loki completely agreed with him.

Already forgetting the doll ever existed and darkness came quickly, he returned to his room.

He opened the door and was welcomed to a dark setting.

He closed the door behind him and waved his wrist to bring the lights out. Loki eyed his room and fount it spotless. It was the same room he had left before the illusion had faded and Loki could only imagine what it looked like when it was messy.

"Thank the Norns." He muttered.

Loki noticed the doll sitting on his shelf and walked towards it. He took it off the shelf and thumbed it with his finger. The doll was smiling at him, and Loki wondered if it had always looked like that. Loki shook his head and placed the doll on the bed next to his pillow.

_Stay here, creepy doll. _

His own words echoed inside his head.

Almost as if, warning him.

Loki casually took his night clothes and pants in the dresser and changed into a soft baggy tunic and pants. He sat on the bed and eyed the doll right next to him, before he got bored and took an hour glass from his desk and started flipping it in the air.

"What to do?" Loki mumbled. "What to do?"

He was thinking of what to do in Asgard tomorrow that was _not _so repetitive. He felt as if his life became duller ever since he returned home, and it was only exciting when Thor makes it to be. Everything in his life at this moment was far too flat for his liking. He missed the thrill, the danger, the pleasure of being free.

He missed all of it.

"Oops."

Loki lost his grip on the hour glass and it rolled under the bed.

"I must be more tired than I thought."

Loki dropped from the bed and knelt on all fours, and reached his hand out, feeling a spark travel its way up his arm. Loki reeled back and sat there, staring at the floor.

"_What was that?" _Loki questioned. _"It felt so familiar." _

Loki yawned and decided that he would just have to leave the hour glass under the bed for retrieval tomorrow. When he stood back up to get to bed, the doll was gone.

"Where—?"

The doll was no longer there.

"Where did I put it?"

Suddenly, Loki saw a large shadow move past the cabinet towards the bathroom. He shook his head and decided that he was probably just tired. He yawned and went to the bathroom to clean up and brush his teeth. When he finished, he combed his hair quickly and yawned again.

When he got out of the bathroom, the door was stuck.

"What?" Loki blinked. "How—?"

When he looked on the floor, the doll was lying right at the gap of the door, its arm lodged under it. Loki knelt and pulled it off. He eyed the doll and didn't care about the damage. It was already far too damage to create more, so the jam didn't do much to appease its outer look.

Loki picked it up and walked over to the shelf and placed the doll back on it.

He also took the pouch containing the colorful glowing crystals and placed them on the empty space on the shelf, right below the doll. Loki yawned and remained impassive, not wanting to think on the incident any further.

He plopped on the bed and planted his face on the pillow in an ungraceful manner.

"So tired." He mumbled to himself.

It was barely midnight, but Loki felt sleep overwhelm him. He flicked his wrists and allowed the lights to die completely. He couldn't resist. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift into the darkness.

Uncaring of the dangers that lurked within.

"**Fear, itself, **_**is **_**explicit." **A dark voice whispered.

Loki groaned, finding his body aching and his heart racing. He shook his head, and wondered if he truly slept, because it did not feel like it. He groped at the hardness of the floor he was laying on, making him sit up straight.

"The floor?" Loki opened his eyes. "How did I get on the—?"

When Loki looked up, he was no longer in his room. He was in the same dream that he had dreamt of before. Loki heard Laufey whisper those damn words to him again. _"You killed me." _And Loki would not mistake Odin's voice for anyone else's. Especially since it sounded so disappointed and repeated the same horrifying words to him. _"You are no son of mine." _And it hurt.

Loki felt betrayed and it truly hurt.

He was confident that he knew where he was.

The Other came and no sooner attacked him, but not before whispering things that Loki did not want to recall. Loki closed his eyes at the attack and felt the dagger stab through him, but he felt nothing.

He felt numb.

The Other disappeared, and Loki's body gave out. There was a fraction of a second of the loudest sound Loki ever heard, and it brought him in near shivers.

It was Dark.

And it was angry.

"**Does it hurt?" **The voice questioned.

The voice was familiar. The voice that was so grand, so deep, so troubled and angry. It was still there, and Loki could not pinpoint a _name _that would help him remember. It escaped him, as if it was ripped from his memory on purpose. It was a _force_ strong enough to control, to change, to be there and yet not be there at the same time. It wanted to play, and it was so dark that Loki's mind rejected the idea, leaving him fumbling for an answer.

He had heard it before, but where?

"**Darkness is in every corner, even with light, there is always a counter." **The voice laughed. **"An opposite to every **_**yin **_**and **_**yang**_**." **

The voice was rich in deepness, with no remorse or lack of confidence.

It was rich in hatred, crisp with that raspy tone that made Loki's bones chill with fear, making him still his movements.

"I know you." Loki glared.

The only way to know an answer to a question was to ask. As if he had much of a choice. Loki waited and continued to wait, but the silence haunted him.

The air of silence remained stale, and heavy.

"Who are you?"

"**The shadow you escaped…" **

The voice became weaker, but stayed with a disgruntled tone. It echoed faintly through the invisible dark walls that surrounded him. It made Loki cringe in fear. Loki forced himself on his feet, breathing heavily and felt his body tremble. He knew he was dreaming, but it sounded so real.

"**The shadow you betrayed…" **

It was a veil of smoke, a shadow cast so large that is was destroyed by the light. Though the dark was cast back into the darkness, it grows strong and the light that is always on will eventually _dim._

Allowing the dark to seep its way through corners unknown...

"**The Shadow you failed." **

"I don't understand." Loki croaked. "What do you mean?"

Loki was ripped from his dream as he bolted awake from his bed.

His breathing was uneven and his forehead beaded sweat. His hands shook rapidly from fright. He could still feel the lingering voice in his head, echoing and repeating itself, just to make it clear. Realizing that only a few minutes had past, he lowered his head and thought about it.

_Why were the nightmares getting worse? _

He groaned, feeling sleep continue to draw him back into that endless abyss and he feared it. He did not want to sleep no matter how tired he was. He stayed away, panting, and allowing the world to move silently through time.

"_They wouldn't be able to reach me." _He panted, as he fisted the sheets of his bed. _"I am safe in Asgard. I'm safe." _

Loki shook his head and sat up, glad that the small amount of light made its way through his window past the dark green curtains. He pushed himself out of bed and dropped his feet to the floor.

_Squish. _

Loki shivered as he felt his foot hit something skin like, and Loki feared what he stepped on. Slowly, he lowered his head and gazed down, seeing the toy child under his foot. He lifted his feet up and brought it to his chest in an embrace.

Loki's lips quivered as he eyed the damn thing.

"This must be a joke."

Loki lowered them again after a few minutes and picked up the doll, bringing it on his lap to sit. He feared the doll, but honestly, was it the doll he feared or was it himself?

He might be going mad, and he didn't even know it.

The Dark magic, it was harmless.

They said so.

"How is it that you've only been here for a day and you're already causing trouble and panic more than any enemy of Asgard would?"

The doll remained still and smiling.

"I am talking to the damn doll again." Loki rolled his eyes and realized. "Someone is out to get me."

And they were making him fear a mere doll.

It was a brilliant idea.

People would definitely think he was mad.

"That's it." Loki realized.

An idea popped into his head when he traced a finger on the barbwires of the doll's left head. The crimson color underneath was dried up and scratchable. With its sharpness, Loki was mesmerized. _Secrets. _That was the initial thought.

Someone was playing with him, and he had to know who.

"You are lucky you look like one of my collections." Loki shrugged.

Like Hell would a doll scare a trickster.

* * *

**oOo **

"Where is it?" Loki grunted.

Morning came, and usually Loki found it pleasant and soothing.

But today was different.

He _hated_ this particular _Morning. _

"Where the hell is it?!" He shouted in frustration. "It's not possible for it to—"

Loki alarmingly found the doll sitting on the balcony railing, staring at the sunrise. Loki had thought someone had taken it, but apparently he was wrong. Something _strange_ was with this doll and Loki was half fascinated and half frightened of it.

Loki picked it up and stared at it.

It still looked the same.

"How are you able to vanish from one place to another?" Loki questioned. "What are you?"

The doll merely stared at him with contempt.

Dark magic.

It had to be the only reason, but how and why was it moving? Loki thumbed the doll, because it looked weird when it sat there, staring at the sun. Loki did not believe that the doll was harmless, because how was it possible for the All-father and many scholars to overlook a mere trinket? They had to have felt something strange about this doll.

They said the Dark magic inside it was harmless.

How could they say that?

Loki shook his head and decided that he had to do something about it. Nobody was going to stop Loki's angry footsteps. His blazing green eyes and rigid posture was a look so determined to know the answer that nobody would refuse him.

"You and I are going for a walk." Loki glared at the doll.

He walked out of his room and out into the halls.

He held the doll's right arm in his left hand, like a child would his favorite toy. However, Loki did not hold any love or affection, nor cherish the very existence of the doll. He hated it with all his might, but he was a curious person, which meant he had the urge to know. Half of him wished it was be _zapped_ away to the netherworld, if there was such an opportunity, but another part of him wanted answers.

"I must be going mad." Loki muttered to himself.

Loki knew it was inevitable.

The doll looked like a spawn that came from the depths of Helheim and Muspelheim. That or somebody really devilish, insane and downright cruel had a baby. Either way, Loki wanted it gone but not before he reached a conclusion.

It was just _insulting _that it was testing him.

The doll swayed unevenly by Loki's side as his steps became tenser when he reached Thor's room. Instead of knocking like a normal kind, sweet and respectful brother would, his magic blasted the door open.

He entered swiftly.

Empty.

Loki grunted and waved a hand to close the door with a _click _of the lock.

"Thor!" He shouted. "THOR!"

"In the bath!" Thor shouted back. "Why are you shouting and why did you destroy my door?!"

"I didn't destroy your door." Loki groaned. "Come out of there. I need to speak with you. I need to tell you something and it is getting on my nerves, brother. It's the doll, there's something weird happening that I cannot explain."

"What about it?" He called.

"Just get out of there. This doll looks as if it's ready to start crying at any moment."

"Are you sure it's not just you, brother?" Thor laughed.

"It's not funny!"

Loki raised the doll chest high towards him. He needed Thor to realize what it was doing to him. He needed Thor to believe him that he wasn't mad. That it must be the dark magic contained inside the doll that is causing Loki's problems. The doll was a reminder of the shadow in his dreams.

"Thor!"

"Loki," Thor whined from the bathroom. "I just got in the water, so please, wait if you must."

"If you aren't coming out," Loki walked forward. "I will come to you and show you."

"NO!" Thor half screamed in a very high-pitched manner. "I am indecent!"

"Thor, we're brothers! As if I care what I see in there! It won't be nearly as horrible as this stupid thing that I'm holding!"

"No! We're not children anymore, Loki!"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Loki, please." Thor pleaded. "Whatever it is you wish to say, say it through this door. Norns forbid that you come in here and ruin my bath time."

"You're being childish." Loki mocked.

"The door is open should any trouble rises, so respect my privacy."

"Thor, I want to ask if you came into my room this morning."

"Why would I go to your room at this early in the morning?" Thor asked curiously. "If this is you asking me to spend time with you, you could have said so."

"But Thor—"

"I cannot hear you!"

Loki rolled his eyes when he heard gurgling noises. Apparently, Thor dove his head in the water. Loki sighed and sat on Thor's bed, waiting. He sat in the middle of the bed with his legs crossed. He placed the doll on his lap and stared at it in confusion.

"Stop looking so amused." Loki frowned.

The doll looked happy with their brotherly squabble, but why?

Why did it look like it was enjoying Loki and his brother's argument? Loki did not understand and the doll was too unpredictable even for him. It left him in such a compromised situation.

Maybe he was mad.

Maybe they were right.

All that emotional trauma and distress was getting to him.

It was making him lose focus.

"Thor, do hurry up, won't you?" Loki called, not moving his gaze from the doll on his lap.

There was a splash and a groan.

"Loki, why?"

"Just hurry up."

"Alright!"

The doll was so revolting, so creepy and he just couldn't stop staring at those orb-like eyes. It was pure like pearl, yet dirty and tainted. In that moment, Loki wished to rip his gaze away from the doll, but he was afraid of losing it.

Loki could have sworn those eyes flashed _light-blue _to a faint _red_.

"What in the Norns?"

Loki felt heavy all of a sudden.

Dazed.

"Whoever gave you to me will be found." Loki huffed. "Two days, and you've almost unraveled me." The doll stared back. "Do not give me that look."

Loki forced himself to talk.

"You are horrible, disgusting, tainted and dirty." He cried. "No one wants you."

Were those Loki's words to the doll?

Or were those Loki's words from the past, _about_ himself?

_Look at how wasted you are._

_No one will want you. _

Loki felt uncomfortable with the sudden silence and the strange pounding in his heart. He hadn't realized he was already shaking. He did not know why, but he hoped he was not panicking. There was no reason to. If there was, it shouldn't be so overwhelming. Loki traced the scar like scratches on the child's cheek, remembering his own scars that were _self-harmed. _

He hadn't meant to do it.

But the pain was all too familiar, and almost comforting.

That was it. That was the indication that something was wrong with his mind and that he was truly mad. A year, it took a year for Loki to fully understand what was wrong with him. He was breaking under pressure.

"Loki?" Thor voiced. "Who are you talking to?"

"No one in particular."

"You better not be doing this again, Loki. Just tell me if it's the Other who haunts your mind. We will go straight to the healers and—"

"Oh shut up." Loki scowled. "Do you really think I've gone off the deep end?"

"If you continue, I just might."

Why was Loki here in the first place? Oh right—right. He had almost forgotten. He was seeking answers. But why—why—oh why did it not seem so important at the moment? Loki felt drowsy from lack of sleep. It was the cause of months of torture plagued by dreams so horrid. It was so bitter-sweet that Loki could still taste the aftereffects and wanted no more than to make up his own Loki-sleep just for the fun of it. He really wanted to get some rest.

"Would you hurry up, Thor?" He called.

"Of course, Lo—"

Thor lost his footing on the wet rocked floor and was brought to his knees.

He groaned, and looked up. He noticed a large shadow move past him and out of the door through the cracks underneath. Thor rubbed his eyes to make sure of what he saw and ignored the ache on his knees. The silhouette was no mistake, it was large and bulky and rather a tad bit scary.

The shadow was not a mistake.

"Thor? Brother?" Loki stood up, disregarding the doll. "Are you well?"

Trapped in a strange daze, Loki walked forward. Thor opened the door a few moments later, clad in a wet navy colored shirt with tight black pants. Loki innocently stood in front of him, head titled slightly.

So innocent—

"Is there truly a reason you are here?" Thor wondered, looking for the shadow. "I thought you would have gotten bored by now."

"Never," He snorted. "You are entertaining enough as it is."

"The doll, Loki?" Thor asked.

"Oh, it's right there." Loki pointed on the bed.

"What about it?"

"I— well— I'm not so sure myself." Loki shrugged.

"You're not sure."

"No. Apparently, not."

"Are you well, Loki?"

"I found the doll sitting on the balcony." He admitted. "I just woke up and found it staring at the sunrise. Do you not find that strange?"

"Well, it seems absurd." Thor said, placing the towel on his dripping head. "How did it get there?"

"I am not sure."

"Really?"

"Yes, now hand the towel over. You're creating a mess, you giant idiotic bearded boy!" Loki scowled when Thor laughed at his stupid insult. "You are! You're dripping all over the floor!"

"Of course, Mother." Thor handed the towel over to him. "Whatever you say. Maybe in years' time I will be as pretty as you are. "

"Shut up!" Loki pinched him.

"Ow, Loki."

"I hate it when you insult me."

"Forgive me then."

Loki pulled Thor towards the bed and made him sit on the floor, while Loki took a seat on the edge of the bed. He took the towel and started to help Thor dry his hair while Loki chewed his gums gently. Thor called Loki to gain his attention and Loki looked down to see blue eyes staring at him.

"What?"

"Hand me the doll." Thor urged.

Loki rolled his eyes and turned his head around, reaching for the doll and dragged it towards Thor. He dropped it on his brother's hand. Thor lifted the doll to get a better look. Loki could feel Thor scrunching his face because what else would Thor do to react to such a thing. Loki continued to dry Thor's hair while Thor continued to figure out what was so strange about the doll.

"Did it do anything else, Loki?"

Thor poked both of the doll's eyes with his thumbs, making Loki feel a bit uncomfortable with Thor's sudden playfulness.

It was downright weird.

"Well, after I went to the bathroom it was lodged between the door and the floor." Loki shrugged. "Why?"

"How did that happen?"

Loki watched as Thor spun the doll around, making Loki cringe. It looked like a real baby, and Loki feared what Thor would do if he was a father. It made Loki laugh a little, but a bigger part of him knew that Thor had a very gentle side of him that most people did not know.

"Last night, I placed it on the shelf and the next thing I knew, it was on the floor."

"Are you sure you were not the one who took it and dropped it there?" Thor asked. "Perhaps you were sleep-walking? That is not uncommon. You did that when you were far younger than you are now."

"I don't know."

Loki did not know what to say.

"Forget about it, Loki." Thor stopped his brother from drying his hair. "Spend the day with me, yes?"

"Alright." Loki smiled. "One more day won't hurt."

"You sound as if you are bored of my presence and you are forced to spend time with me."

"Never, brother!" He laughed. "So what are we going to do this fine morning?"

"You'll see."

Thor would make him forget his past. Thor would make him forget about the nightmares. Thor would make him forget about his fears. Thor would make him forget about last night. Thor would make him forget about this morning. Thor would make him forget about _everything _and just live life as they did now. There was no past, and there was no future.

It was just the present.

The _gift _of today.

* * *

**oOo **

"Heimdall said he still could not see me, but he could see glimpses of you with me." Loki mumbled as he walked through the halls. "Don't you find that strange?"

"Strange." Thor nodded.

"You're not even listening, are you?"

"No." He shook his head. "I am tired. We spent the whole day out of the palace walls! My body ached from the walk home and my clothes were drenched."

"But they dried up."

"From the walk home, Loki."

"It's your fault you took the wrong path."

"The map said to go there."

"The map said nothing of a sort, Thor. I already told you to go left but you took right. We lost our horses—"

"But I found them by the lake."

"This, by the way, took you hours to do so, brother dearest."

"They were ruthless horses." Thor protested. "It is not my fault you did not tie them properly to the tree. That was your job."

"That was not my fault."

"Loki—"

"I was sleepy."

"Excuses, brother."

"They're not excuses if they are real problems, Thor."

"I fell in sticky liquid."

"It was a pile of—"

"Don't say it, Loki!" He frowned. "Do not speak of it."

"But it wasn't liquid—"

"Get some rest, brother." Thor stopped by the room of Loki's door. "I'm sure tomorrow will be different."

"I'd like it to stay the same as today." Loki rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "I rather enjoyed spending time with my older brother."

"Compliments will do you nothing." Thor grinned.

"Shame," Loki grinned back. "I would have thought I might weasel my way into getting another gift."

"The only gift you'll be receiving is a hug."

"No! Thor stop!"

Thor trapped him in an embrace as Loki struggled to pull away from him. The two of them were laughing uncontrollably despite the struggle Loki made and the stupid effort Thor did. By the time they were finished with the short wrestling match, the two of them were out of breath.

"Ew." Loki pouted. "Take a bath."

"I took a bath this morning." Thor grinned. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Ew, disgusting."

"Good Night, Loki. Rest well."

"Good Night, brother."

Loki watched Thor with his back turned to him, moving away and towards the other hallway. They were not that far apart from each other. Sure there was a great distance to walk, but they were nearest to each other and that set Loki in a good mood.

When Loki entered his room, he was yet again embraced with darkness.

"We meet again, darkness." Loki muttered.

Loki waved a wrist to bring the lights out and his eyes widened the next moment. Sitting on the bed, was the toy child. Its eyes stared back at him like a mirror. The doll's mouth had a cheeky grin, its teeth extended, making it creepier than it should be. And from there, Loki started hearing tiny childish voices in his head.

The doll had its arms wide open, as if welcoming him back to his room.

_Welcome back. _

It seemed to say.

"You," Loki sneered.

All good thoughts were ripped away from Loki and on instincts, Loki's magic flared from his fingertips in an oddly green tread-like manner. It slowly circled his hand like vines and allowed it to strengthen. The green flames were brought to life as he hurled it at the doll.

When the smoke cleared, Loki could not believe his eyes.

The gift remained unscathed and untouched.

"Sorcery," Loki swallowed the realization. "Whoever is your owner, I will make sure he pays for the trouble you bring me every moment I encounter you."

All good thoughts…

Gone…

It was so quick, that Loki had forgotten the happy memories he spent with Thor today. And every horror that plagued him since, quickly returned in one go, making Loki feel nauseous.

He picked up the doll from the bed and walked over to the door of the balcony, pushing it open. He walked to the railing and saw how beautiful Asgard looked even at night. A handful of lights illuminated the distance, but the beauty wasn't what Loki cared about.

The only thing he was focused on right now was getting _rid _of the doll for good.

"Let us see how frightening you are now."

He threw it over the railing and watched as it nearly plummeted to the ground, but when Loki squinted his eyes to adjust to the darkness outside, he saw the doll hover.

"What?" Loki blinked.

The doll was enveloped in black thread, wrapping around it and disappearing.

The silenced pierced as a heartfelt laughter echoed behind Loki.

Loki spun, finding nothing there.

He was alone on the balcony.

_Familiar_—_so familiar_—

But why couldn't he place a name?

"What do you want from me?" Loki whispered, madly.

There was no answer.

There was only a distant _laughter _at the back of his head, enjoying his misery. Suddenly, Loki heard a _thud _from the room near the bathroom. Loki swallowed and crept back inside his bedroom and peeked through, there was nothing there. When he pushed forward and walked to the middle of the room, he saw the doll lying peacefully on the carpet.

Loki began to panic.

Breathe—you have to breathe, Loki—deep breaths.

"H—how is it—p—possible?" He panted, feeling all the air sucked out of him. "Norns k—know— that this is not madness—This is not my doing."

Loki knelt down and pulled the doll to his lap, eying its almost gouged out eyes. It must be when Thor had poked it with his thumbs. Loki stood up and turned around, trying to breathe normally again and trying not to succumb into his panic attacks. He was stronger than that, and he had to get past the trauma!

He had to!

Not moving, he had a full grip of the doll's head and hurled it with great force out of the door, through the balcony and back outside.

Then again, it was too good to be true.

A neatly formed shadow moved past Loki, toppling the books, making Loki cover his mouth from shouting. He wasn't about to alert someone of his weakness. No, he wasn't going to embarrass himself in front of Asgard and create more rumors for them to laugh at. No, Loki did not want to scream. His mouth was covered by his hands as he trembled.

_Thud. _

Loki heard something rustle behind him, when he turned, the doll sat there on the bed.

"No." Loki cried out in fear.

The doll had its arms wide open.

"No, not again."

Faintly and mockingly, he could hear it whisper _do you miss me? _

Loki had the imagination for it and he knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. He knew it deep in his heart. And yet the thought never made it better. Loki's breathing increased, and if he didn't stop, he would pass out soon.

Loki panted even more, unable to move.

Frozen in fear.

Laughter echoed in his ears and a weird chill traced its way on his back and hovered by his waist. It was a big reminder of the past, of what they did to him and how they _broke _him. Loki continued to pant, and any more would surely incase him in darkness.

He cried out in pain as nausea increased.

He fell to the floor, and the last thing he saw was a shadow.

"Thor?"

He called, before darkness swallowed him whole.

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think, it powers me to update faster! XD**


	3. Chapter 3 - The Harrowing

**oOo**

**Chapter 3 – The Harrowing**

So much…

Blood.

_Laughing—red—dark— _

_Stained—dripping—_

Everything was…

Empty.

_Red—blood—_

_Death—dark— _

It was so…

Dark.

_So much blood—bleeding—dripping—_

_Dark—so dark—dark—black—_

Loki woke up to find himself in the healing room. Again. He silently groaned and turned his attention to the one next to him. Thor was sleeping soundly by his side and Loki felt his heart swell with guilt. How long ago was it that he had passed out?

It wasn't dark anymore, that's for sure.

_Pain. _

There was a faint ache in his body.

But where?

Should he ask? Or should he wait for Thor to wake up and ask questions? Loki's hand trembled as it ghosted its way to Thor's hair. Loki patted it slowly, and proceeded to tug it. Thor groaned, but he didn't wake up so Loki decided to shake Thor awake, hoping he'd listen.

"Brother?"

"Loki?" Thor blinked his eyes open. "Loki!"

"Thor—"

Loki wasn't able to finish his sentence when Thor had all but jumped him and looped his arms around him. Loki felt tears from Thor's eyes as he trembled in his brother's embrace. Loki didn't know what to tell Thor, he was afraid. He didn't want to sound like a lunatic. He didn't want to sound like a mad man, least of all towards his own brother.

"Thor—"

"Stop," Thor pulled away and wiped his tears. "You had us so worried, Loki."

"You're crying." Loki mumbled.

"Why shouldn't I?" Thor swallowed.

"What are you talking about, brother?"

"You don't remember."

"What are you saying?"

"Brother—"

"What is it, Thor?" Loki winced. "You're starting to scare me."

Thor watched the confusion on Loki's face. Thor realized that Loki doesn't remember what happened, especially since he had blacked out. Thor felt tears swell in his eyes as he thought about what Loki might feel if he told him. There was nothing holding him back, just the guilt in not being able to protect his little brother. Thor took a deep breath and decided now was the time to tell Loki the truth.

"You stabbed yourself."

It took a while for Loki to actually register the words in his head.

"What?" Loki blinked. "I didn't—"

"You did."

"You're lying."

"I'm not—"

"It's not true, Thor!"

"Yes, you did, brother." Thor took his hand, trying to stop Loki from shaking. "I had a feeling. I didn't know how, but I did. I came to your room after I took a bath that night. I heard your screams. They were muffled. You were covering your mouth from screaming. You were on the floor, Loki."

"No," Loki shook his head, tears stinging his eyes. "That's not true."

"Yes, yes it is." Thor thumbed his hand. "You had your dagger, you stabbed your leg."

Pain.

He could feel pain.

That was the aching feeling he had.

He felt numb before.

Now it made sense.

Loki immediately pulled away from Thor and threw the covers off him. He found himself wearing a large tunic and shorts he didn't knew he had. His left thigh had bandages over them, and Loki didn't know what happened. He couldn't remember what happened or how they happened at all.

"It's not me."

"Loki, just stop," Thor cradled him. "Please stop."

"I didn't do this." Loki cried. "I am not mad, brother."

"We asked Heimdall. Nobody came to your room—nobody, Loki. There was no one there."

"He couldn't see me!"

"Even so, he would have seen everything else."

"Are you sure about that?" Loki nearly screamed. "You know there are things that Heimdall cannot see or predict. Thor, you know this. He cannot see everything! There was a shadow before I passed out, Thor. You have to believe me!"

_Shadow._

Thor had seen a shadow before.

"Alright," He nodded, trying to calm Loki down. "I— I understand, just please calm down."

"It's not me, Thor!"

"Shhh..."

"It's not me."

"For my sake, calm down."

"I'm so sorry, brother." Loki cried. "You have to believe me!"

"Don't—"

"I shouldn't have panicked. I should've composed myself. I knew better than to allow my fears to swallow me, but I swear to you that I did not stab myself. I didn't. I don't remember doing it last night—"

"It's been two days, Loki."

"What?" Loki swallowed.

"Mother is crying and she's worried sick about you. Father thinks you did this to yourself." Thor bit his lip. "You don't know how hard it was to make you stop screaming. Eir couldn't heal you properly, she said there was magic involved and it prevented her from healing you quickly."

Loki lowered his gaze, crying silently.

"Tell me what happened," Thor lifted Loki's chin. "Please tell me."

"The doll—"

"Loki, there's nothing wrong with the doll."

"You're not listening!"

"I _am_ listening! The doll is where you left it. It was on your book shelf."

"It was on the bed." Loki fought.

"Loki, please. Just tell me what happened."

"When you left me to go back to your room, I found the doll on my bed." Loki argued. "Its arms were open and when I wanted to throw it away, it came back. I threw it out again and it came back. I started to panic, I wanted to call you, I did—but I couldn't move. I didn't want to look weak if I called the guards, but Thor—I swear I didn't do this on my own!"

"Stop—stop crying." Thor pulled him closer again. "Shhh… It's fine."

"It is not alright if you do not believe me!" Loki panted. "Someone is out to get me and you know our security is not as good as you thought. Asgard isn't safe, Thor. Just please, believe me. I'm telling the truth!"

"Alright." Thor nodded. "Just, stop crying."

"It wasn't me."

"It's alright, quiet."

For the first time in a long time, Loki felt _alone _again.

There was no escaping it.

He knew that Thor was agreeing to him just so he would stop crying. Loki knew how it worked, he knew how to manipulate and even though Thor wasn't trying, he was _doing_ it. Loki really had no clue as to what happened two days ago. There was a shadow, and he knew it was real. There was no mistaking it, there wasn't.

After calming down, they stayed silent for a few minutes.

Thor allowed Loki the silence.

They both needed it.

Thor had the assurance that his brother was safe, but Loki wasn't any better. Loki was confused, he had no idea what was going on with him and he could only point and blame the doll. What he witnessed that night was not normal, not even on Asgard do things just float so suddenly in the air or appear so suddenly. There was always an explanation, and yet now, Loki found himself speechless.

"Loki!"

The door opened to reveal Frigga and Odin.

Frigga ran to Loki and trailed kisses on his face and started scolding him. Loki was too tired to protest, and even though she blamed him for his injury, Loki no longer cared. Thor knew and Thor would explain later on. While Loki was trapped in Frigga's lecture and embrace, Thor had gone to Odin, who merely stayed by the door.

"Outside." Odin ushered.

Thor merely followed as they closed the door behind them.

"I know what you're going to say, Thor."

"It wasn't Loki." Thor mumbled.

"You are telling me this was not of his making?" Odin whispered.

"He spoke of a shadow."

"And I should care?"

"I've seen it, Father. It was in my room. I told you before."

"Are you certain of this, Thor?" Odin asked. "This is not the older brother speaking just so he could back up his younger brother's claims, is it?"

"No." Thor shook his head. "I speak truth. Have the doll checked again."

"You are saying it's the Dark magic inside the doll that is at fault?"

"Find side effects of it." Thor insisted. "Loki would not do these things to himself."

"It was already proven he is harming himself. Are you sure he did not do this on his own to gain our attention?"

"You think so less of him."

"No, I do not." Odin breathed. "I am merely stating facts."

"Facts that could be false.

"You must listen to reason, Thor."

"Loki harms himself, small bruises, cuts, but never giant wounds." Thor frowned. "Father, please. I know Loki. He did not do this to himself. Have the doll checked. Please, if not, at least have the doll burned or thrown to the blacksmiths."

"That is for the best." Odin nodded.

"He does not need a reminder of his torture." Thor bit his lips.

"Aye."

"Will you speak to him?"

"No." His Father shook his head. "I do not think Loki needs me. He resents me, I know of it. And even more so, I see fear in his eyes whenever he looks at me."

"Resentment?"

"Do you see it?"

"No."

"I do." Odin said. "Just be there for your brother, but do not encourage his excuses. If I find nothing wrong with the doll, or if there truly was no shadow and they are not the cause of Loki's suffering, then you know my answer."

"You will be condemning your son as a mad man."

"He's a boy." Odin breathed.

"A tortured boy," Thor glared. "He's been through enough and he only needs the support of his family, and yet here you are, making him fear you."

"Your brother is harming himself. He is in emotional distress, and trauma plagues him. Stress brings him to his knees and his fears stop him from taking control. You know my answer, Thor and that will be final. I want to help your brother, but he has to listen."

"He does not need therapy. It's worse than that."

"He needs Healers, Thor."

"Eir is a great healer, but Loki does not need her."

"I will see to your suspicions, but at least heed my words." Odin stared. "If this gets worse, you know Loki has gone off the deep end. He has bottled it up for too long. He may have occasionally slipped on his way towards it, allowing us to predict his panic attacks, but we cannot let it escalate any further. You do not want to see your brother suffer, do you?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Then help him by helping me." Odin breathed. "Now go. Stop your mother from coddling that boy for too long, she'll start crying again. Or worse, both of them will start crying."

"And you'll be the bitter one in the end." Thor half laughed.

"Aye, that and I will be the receiving end of her brutal attacks." Odin smiled. "Take care of your brother."

"I will."

* * *

**oOo **

**The next day…**

They had the doll checked, but the Dark magic was gone.

For some reason, it simply faded. They also checked Loki, but his wound was already healed. Nobody knew what was going on. A large number of people blamed Loki for it. Their reason was perhaps Loki was doing this for attention, to play games or even just to spite everyone into worrying about him. However, his family thought different. It wasn't a cry for attention, nor was it games or out of spite. It was something else entirely. Something they could not understand and will only understand if Loki allows them to.

One thing for sure, it was centered on Loki.

And that was evidence enough that something was going on with the Prince.

"_Lectures, blame, worry—!" _Loki grunted. _"That's all they ever think about. They don't know how to listen. They don't even understand it." _

He was not mad, and he was not hallucinating things.

Nor was he harming himself.

Okay, fine, maybe just a little.

"_Uncaring_—_hopeless_—_despicable!" _Loki cursed in his head. _"Useless!"_

He ignored everyone who stared at him, who stopped and backed away, keeping their distance. Loki no longer cared about what they thought. At first, he had contemplated each and every action towards him, but now, there was nothing holding him back.

Loki continued to walk until he finally found where Thor was.

"Where is it?"

Loki crossed his arms, standing in the middle of the training ground. He was facing The Warriors Three, Sif and Thor, who were all sweaty and smelly from training. Loki scrunched his face in annoyance. It had been a day after he woke up, and his wound miraculously healed despite Eir saying it won't for the next few days.

Loki would rather accept the miracle than to lay in bed all the time.

He needed to walk.

"You should not be out of bed, Loki." Sif stared at him, wiping the sweat of her forehead. "You know how the Queen worries about you."

"I'm completely healed." Loki grunted. "Now where is it?"

"You should go back," Hogun said. "Lest you worry everyone else."

"Where is it?"

"Where is what, Loki?" Thor asked, panting.

"The doll," Loki insisted.

"You're still going about that thing." Fandral laughed. "Thor told us it looked, hideous."

"That was not the word I used." Thor pouted.

"I think he used the word, strange, overwhelming and utterly disgusting." Volstagg laughed along with him. "There were many more to describe the doll, and I wish I could see it."

"Same as I, my friend!" Fandral grinned.

"Either way, I care not." Loki reached a hand out. "Where did the All-Father take it?"

"Fine." Thor grunted.

Thor huffed and pulled Loki away from many wandering eyes that came from the warriors. Loki allowed himself to be dragged out of the training ground, and watched many warriors snicker at him. They laughed at his ridicule, they laughed at his weakness and tendency to stay with Thor.

They all thought him weak.

Sif shouted, "What are you all staring at? Get back to your training!"

And they all did.

Sif knew that rumors were spreading wildly due to the new found knowledge that Loki was _slowly_ going mad. Some relished the idea, some felt sorry for the whole family, but the pity never once came for Loki. It was mere resentment that kept them at bay. That and mostly because he was still a Prince no matter how much they deny it. He was still the Prince they watched who grew up to be the monster they feared.

"Loki_—_?"

"Where is the child?" Loki grunted.

"Why do you want it back?" Thor wondered, getting off topic. "Did your nightmares plague you last night?"

"I don't remember."

"See! You do not need that thing back."

"Where is it?"

Thor palmed his face, "It's with Father. He is planning to have it melted."

"Are you insane?"

"Loki!"

"I want to know why the dark magic is gone from that doll!" Loki hissed. "There's a reason and I want to prove it to all of you that I am not mad and this is not the cause of insomnia, nor is it my trauma. And that I did not stab myself."

"Loki, can you hear yourself talking?" Thor held Loki's shoulder's tightly. "This does not sound like you."

"What are you—?"

Thor pinned him to the wall, holding him there. "I will not listen to this anymore, Loki."

"You don't believe me!"

"I asked Father to search everything they could. I saw a shadow as well, Loki. I'm trying to help you, but you have to allow me to work. There is nothing I can do beyond this point. Allow it to settle down. Allow them to find whatever is causing you harm. If they find it, we know the answer."

"And if they don't?" Loki lowered his gaze.

"We will get there when we do." Thor sighed, and released him. "For now, keep quiet and stop asking about it or telling people about it. We do not want more rumors to spread of this. Do you understand?"

"Fine," Loki pushed him away. "I'll see you later, brother."

"Where are you going?"

"To the All-father."

* * *

**oOo**

Loki walked away and wondered what time it was. It was almost noon and he figured that Odin would be in his study by now, possibly talking to his war council. Loki walked through the empty hallway after he passed a few guards. The hallway was deprived of any natural light, and only had flames on either side to light the way.

It seemed a little dark and claustrophobic for Loki.

But he needed to speak with Odin.

When Loki reached the stairs, he felt an odd presence behind him and spun. Empty. There was nothing there, and Loki felt a tug of dismay. Maybe he was merely paranoid, recalling every horror the Other did to him, making him fidgety.

Suddenly, the flames flickered, as if they would die out.

He saw a shadow move past him, making Loki freeze on his spot.

"_Norns, no," _Loki panted silently. _"It's just my imagination." _

In the corner of his eyes, he saw _legs_ clamber up the stairs in an odd manner.

He could have sworn they went up _backwards_, its body twisted and horrifying. There was a soft buzzing noise of someone breathing next to him. Loki closed his eyes for a moment, and felt a soft breeze from somewhere, making the curtains move.

Loki did not want to open his eyes.

"Loki?"

He knew that voice, so he opened his eyes and turned.

"All-Father?" Loki tilted his head.

"You wish to speak to me, did you not?" Odin asked, standing by the stairs.

"I do."

"Come upstairs." Odin walked up, and Loki followed silently.

Odin was told of Loki's presence by his two ravens and decided to check why Loki was yet to enter his study. He found Loki paralyzed, near hysteria in the middle of the hall. As a Father, he did what any father would do. He snapped Loki out of his thoughts and called him up to speak with him. Odin sat on his chair; in front of him was his desk. Loki stood opposite him, as Loki eyed the doll on the table.

"You wish for me to return this to you." Odin pointed. "Give me a reason why."

"I am not mad."

"So you keep telling people."

"How would you know?" Loki sneered. "You don't even know me."

"You dare question me?"

"Yes, I do." Loki said bravely.

"I was going to have this melted, but I figured I would ask you first." Odin stared. "Your brother was the one who insisted on it. He believed that this was probably the cause of your nightmares, and you latching onto the idea is not a good thing. You were worse before, and now that you've acquired this, it made it much worse."

"I am not mad."

"I can give you access to the trunk, but this doll—"

"Stays with me," Loki insisted. "I found it first. I have rights to it. Now hand it over and we'll be done with this and I could be away from you."

"Why do you resent me so?"

"I have my reasons."

"Cease your tricks, Loki." Odin sighed tiredly. "Heimdall would have no trouble proving you right on your claims if you just cease those tricks."

"I never did those things." Loki gritted his teeth.

"But you harmed yourself."

"Before," Loki admitted. "I did before, but I never stabbed myself that night."

"What if you just chose not to remember?" Odin asked, making Loki think. "A shadow you said. Thor also saw a shadow, something you could create so easily with your illusions. If you are not mad as you say you are. Then allow your Mother or you brother to take you to the Healers to have you checked. If your mind is unstable, so will your magic. They could be creating this."

"This was not my doing." Loki hissed.

"What of the writings on your wall?" Odin retorted. "As I clearly read, it spoke of _Death _and _Murder_. Something you could have written."

"I didn't write those things."

"You would remember?"

"I—?"

"No. Death could mean the lives you took. Murder could be what you call yourself." Odin sighed. "It is understandable, Loki. No one blames you for it."

"No more! That was not my doing." Loki panted. "How would you explain the Dark magic, if you do blame me?"

"I do not blame you. We merely have no one else to point to. We know for sure the doll and trunk did not come from you, and we are still looking into that. This is why the doll remains here in my study."

"I am not mad."

"Drop your magic, Loki. Allow Heimdall—"

"Damn you, All-Father! You claim to know everything with your one-eye and yet you are so blind!"

"Do _not_ speak to me that way." Odin scolded. "I am your—"

"You're not my Father!" Loki shouted.

"We're done here." Odin stared at him. "Go, before I drag you to the Healers."

"I'll fight you."

"Take the doll if it will ease your troubled mind."

Loki gave up trying.

He took the doll and teleported to his room in an instant. He could still hear Odin's stern voice at the back of his mind, echoing silently. _You are no son of mine. _Loki threw the doll on the bed as he retreated to the corner. He curled himself and cried. Nobody could see him, nobody could hear him. He was _alone. _

And nobody…

Nobody believed him.

* * *

**oOo **

"THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!" Frigga shouted as she stabbed the steak on her plate. "I do not care for vital information as to why Loki is acting this way. I will no longer wait. He needs a Healer."

"We need to find the source of who is doing this to him." Thor insisted.

"And how do you propose we do that, boy?" Odin questioned, forgetting his meal. "We know not if what he is seeing is of his own making or someone else's. There are no traces whatsoever."

"It _is _someone else."

"Thor—"

"None of you are listening." Thor grunted. "We are hardly trying for Loki's sake."

"I want Loki to see a healer." Frigga sighed. "Nothing more."

"But the gift—"

"We found the trunk dated back years into my Father's time, Thor." Odin said. "We cannot decipher whose symbols it was, but we are getting closer."

"And the letter's I found in Loki's room?"

"What letters?" Frigga asked. "You've been through your brother's belongings?"

"I went to Loki's room right as he went to Father." Thor frowned. "I checked his drawer and found letters, papers… they all wrote _Murder_."

"Your brother's handwriting?" Odin asked.

"Aye." Thor grimaced. "Why would he write that?"

"This has gone long enough." Frigga sighed. "I do not want to see Loki end up with nothing. He's suffered enough for that. I do not want to witness him break. He has been strong enough for all of us."

"I want him to see a Healer as well." Thor sighed. "But I know not."

"Does he know you went into his room?"

"No, Father."

"Good. Watch out for him, Thor. He trusts you."

"Aye."

* * *

**oOo **

Loki ate lunch alone in his room.

He analyzed the doll and occasionally called out to Heimdall to get his family, but they did not come and Loki was sure the doll had something to do with it. They said the Dark magic was gone, but the moment Loki had taken it off Odin's hand, the darkness returned. It seemed to be attached to him, and Loki would find out.

"I swear to the Norns, I will figure you out."

He spoke to the doll, poked and prodded it to see if it would do anything else, but it remained stoic and dead. Hours were focused on the doll alone, and other times, Loki focused on himself, if he really was sane.

What could be the explanation for the nightmares?

Could it be a foreboding?

Loki wouldn't know.

* * *

**oOo**

_Morning _came quickly than Loki had anticipated.

He did not sleep.

The gift was still placed on the high shelf of one of the book cases he had. He didn't care anymore, he wanted rest. Tired, his eyes closed shut, but the nightmare woke him up and prevented him from falling back into blissful sleep. In each state of slumber, Loki found the darkness waiting.

Laufey haunted him.

Odin failed him.

The Other was envious.

And there was _him. _

That uncanny _voice. _

It mocked him in his sleep, wished that he would suffer and later on, he would go mad. Loki couldn't forget it. He changed his clothes, and walked over to the balcony and watched the sun rise, tiredly. His mind drew a blank. His whole body was shutting down.

His magic was a mess.

_So Warm._

He felt the sun kiss his skin.

He stayed like that for an hour, relishing the good feeling.

However, certain thoughts just end up coming back. The torment he faced with the humiliation he was dragged into, the biting and scratching that came with rape, all of it. He could remember it as clear as day. And now there was another pain in his life.

_It was so cold. _

"**You slide to dereliction, to negligence, and I would make you suffer for it." **It hissed in the back of his mind. **"With this, you are always doomed to fail. This shadow may not have you, but he will break you." **

"_Slowly," _Loki finished in his mind.

"What is becoming of me," He openly said. "Why can I not remember?"

Trying to convince his family of that stupid thing was a task that Loki would rather not do again, because what was the point in trying if all you'll ever say will turn back to you?

Knock. Knock.

Loki turned to look back into his room.

The doll was on the floor.

Loki ignored the doll that looked as if it was watching him, as he casually headed to his priority. Too tired to force a reaction, he simply let the fear fade away.

He opened the door.

"Prince Loki?"

A servant looked at him from top to bottom. Her eyes wandered at his inappropriate form. Loki's hair was out of place, dark and tired eyes replaced his usually mirth ones and his pale skinned shoulder and hard edged collarbone peeked from his tunic.

Loki was completely disheveled.

"What?" Loki snapped.

"The King and Queen wishes for an audience with you during breakfast." The handmaiden riposted before Loki could say anything else. "Prince Thor is also in the banquet halls, my Prince."

"Banquet halls?" Loki asked. "Why not the private quarters like they used to?"

"I am a mere messenger, my Prince." She stuttered. "She expressed her great concern and wishes to have her—" She paused and swallowed. "—son with her."

Right, everyone knew he was Laufey's son.

What a brilliant idea to share it to everyone in Asgard.

Loki wanted to gag in frustration.

"Do I have a choice?"

The Handmaiden shook her head and Loki palmed his face.

"Tell them I'll be there shortly."

She nodded and walked away. Loki closed the door behind him, leaned on it and sagged slowly to the floor. He allowed his eyes to close as his whole body adjusted. He had no choice. So unless he wanted attention, he had to get up and look proper.

_Doomed to fail_—this shadow—_not have you_—but he will—

Suddenly, Loki could hear someone weeping.

"_Please stop." _Loki covered his ears. _"Just stop."_

It was crying.

_Hic… hic…_

It was the doll, lying there on the floor with a smile on its face.

_Huuu… hu… hic…_

And only broken sobs could be heard from the doll.

Loki wanted to forget everything.

* * *

**oOo **

The banquet hall was huge. It was a grander version of the tavern, with bigger and longer tables. Odin and Frigga figured it was a good opportunity to mingle with everyone else. Einherjar's alike were all over the place, drinking mead and ale, while chatting happily at their table. The warriors three and Sif were in another table, telling tales of extraordinary hunting. Thor stayed with them, laughing at the stories.

Odin sat in the middle of the long table with Frigga sitting on his left. Thor would sit at his right while Loki sat next to him.

"Are you sure this is wise?"

"You worry too much, Frigga."

"You worry too less."

"Loki will learn to deal with these people. He is strong willed and spirited, he will thank us for this." Odin sighed. "Despite all of Asgard knowing his history, he is still known as our son and Thor's brother. They have to respect that. It has been a year since his attack on Midgard."

"And almost two years since he was lost to us." Frigga added.

"We must not let it deter his growth." Odin breathed. "He lacks mischief, his spirit and dedication. If this demeanor lingers for too long, it might stay forever."

The handmaiden tapped Frigga's shoulder and she and her husband turned to the woman. The Queen and King exchanged looks and as soon as they did, Odin spoke.

"Where is he?"

"He will be here shortly, your highness." She answered. "As for what you ordered me to do, milady." She turned to the Queen. "Prince Loki is not looking so well. He looks as if I disturbed his sleep, or better yet, he did not sleep at all."

"Are you sure?" Frigga gasped.

"No mistake, Milady."

"Thank you." She nodded as the woman walked back to her duties. Frigga turned to Odin. "What are we to do to him, Odin?"

"Hope he sees a healer this time."

"Nightmares of his past, and accusations—"

"Not now, Frigga." He stopped her. "Let us savor this peace."

"BROTHER!" Thor shouted, and all attention went to the door. Loki stood there dumfounded by Thor's outburst. If only Loki could facepalm openly, he would do it by now.

"_Damn idiot." _Loki blushed.

Everyone was silent and staring. Loki looked beaten and tired, but was dressed in good manners. Thor strode over to him and the people went back to their merry moments, ignoring the Princes. Their parents looked horrified with Loki's image. He was pale, thin and looked as if he had merely gone through torture.

Sickly.

"Must you be so loud?" Loki complained.

"Are you well?"

"Shut up."

Loki placed his forehead to Thor's chest, tiredly closing his eyes and allowed himself to slump to Thor's embrace. Thor had caught him, trying not to make a scene. Loki wrapped his arms behind Thor's back and allowed the two of them to stay like that for a while.

Loki's silent call for help.

"Alright," Thor pulled him up and cupped his jaw. "What happened to you?"

"Does it matter?" Loki mumbled. "Get me to the table so we could get this over with so I could die on a bed instead of the floor, or the table."

"We're going back to your room."

"Nonsense," He pushed Thor away. "Whose idea was it to spend our meal here?"

"Father."

"Why aren't your friends with us at the table?"

"I requested they don't. I figured you'd want peace for now. I could always go to their table if I wished. For now, I'd like to spend time with my family."

"How thoughtful."

They got to the table and Loki did not want to meet Odin's eye. Loki looked away and proceeded to try and eat, even though he didn't have the appetite to do so. Odin must've done this to show people that they were still a family. But Loki could not see that. The only family he could see was Thor and his Mother. Odin was not part of his family tree.

An hour of pure torture, at least to Loki's imagination.

He hated feasts.

The banquet hall was full of noisy people. If you listened closely, Volstagg's voice was loud and brash, telling his tale of the best hunt they had. The meal was served in large portions of meat and fruit, making Loki want to throw up.

Loki really had no appetite.

"You're barely touching your food." Frigga said worriedly.

"Not hungry, Mother."

"You're so thin."

"Tired."

"Loki, are you still plagued by nightmares."

"I did not sleep." Loki sighed. "So that is a yes."

"Oh, Loki."

"Thank you for inviting me here." Loki stood up and ignored Thor's round of questions.

Everyone stared at them.

Loki simply walked away and vanished out of everyone's sight.

"Is there something we should know?" Frigga asked.

"He is restless." Odin stabbed the meat on his plate. "With Thanos on the loose and the Chitauri still out there, as well as old and new enemies we will face, it is no wonder he cannot sleep."

Thor bit his lips and asked. "Did you return the doll he was asking for?"

"Aye."

"Why?"

"He wanted to figure it out."

"You could have refused."

"That would give your brother more reason to complain." Odin said. "At least his mind is working on an idea. You know how your brother is when he is bored."

"Thor," Frigga said. "I have to ask you to do something for me."

"What is it, Mother?"

"Convince your brother to see the healers."

"But Mother—"

"At least try." She pleaded.

"I will." Thor shook his head. "But Two years has brought him nothing but sadness. He is strong, but he is afraid. We don't know if he truly speaks—"

"Do you believe him?" Odin asked.

"Do you, Father?"

"I believe what I must. There is no evidence of someone breaking in."

"We must've overlooked it." Thor frowned. "How do you explain the trunk that got into Loki's room?"

"Loki must've smuggled it." He debated.

"Do you still hold a grudge against him?" Thor fought silently. "Father, why?"

"I hold nothing against him." Odin glared. "He was pardoned of his crimes and had suffered for treason. Loki is not doing this to spite us, but he is not in the right state of mind for us to completely blame him. If he is being controlled as we speak, we know not until we get into your brother's head."

"He is honest."

"Or he is merely manipulating you, my son."

"Odin." Frigga warned.

"I speak truth, my Queen." He breathed. "Our son should heed it."

"Your son has been in good terms with Loki." Thor stood up. "I will try to convince him, but that is all I could do for the two of you. I will not let Loki face this alone."

Thor walked away.

"Odin," Frigga said. "What do we do?"

"I will have our people check the trunk's whereabouts again and have them up the security." Odin stared at her. "Those symbols have long since been forgotten, but hopefully there is something about it that we'll find."

"The doll—?"

"—is useless, Frigga." Odin sighed. "I've checked. I cannot sense anything. There is no longer any form of Dark magic whatsoever. So if Loki believes it, perhaps that is his imagination."

"Heimdall?"

"He can hear us, but nonetheless, I will speak to him."

* * *

**oOo **

Thor searched for Loki everywhere, but his brother was nowhere near the places he'd usually be in. He had tried Loki's room. He had opened the door and it creaked expectedly. The room was empty. The bed was neat as if it hadn't been used at all.

"Oh, Loki," He grumbled. "What is wrong with you?"

Thor turned his attention to the wall.

D.E.A.T.H.  
M.U.R.D.E.R.

Thor wished he had not seen those words.

Thor felt a chill on the back of his neck, as if someone was whispering and breathing down on it. _Thud. _He spun with great speed and found nothing but the doll, staring at him from the floor. Thor scowled when he saw it.

"_There's no wind to knock you down." _Thor wondered.

Thor knelt to pick up the doll and saw hand prints on the floor.

Claw marks.

It was light and crimson, scratches that came from a new born babe.

This does not look like a coincidence.

Thor placed the doll back on the shelf and walked away.

He hurried to look for Loki in the library but the keeper said that Loki had not been there for a long time now. So Thor searched for him in the tower, his Mother's garden, and the training ground or to places Loki usually hid. Much to his disappointment, Loki was nowhere to be found.

Thor took the trouble to ask Heimdall, but he still could not see Loki.

Two hours of fruitless find.

Thor gave up and retreated to his room.

He was shocked to find Loki sleeping on the bed, and a shadow moved away from him. Thor blinked and rubbed his eyes to see if it was real, but next thing he knew, there was nothing there but his brother. Thor shook his head, deciding it was probably his worry creating such a scene in his head. Loki was curled up on the bed, fisting the sheets.

"Loki?" He nudged his brother. "Are you well?"

"Thor?" Loki groaned.

"Are you well?"

"I suppose." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "It seemed like the safest option."

"Safest?"

"I hear things. I had to leave my room."

"Loki," Thor looked worried. "Are you sure?"

"Are you mad at me?"

Even if Thor wanted to be mad at his brother, he just couldn't. Not while Loki looked so exhausted, and Thor could swear that Loki looked sinful with that disheveled hair and roughed up clothing. Thor shook his head, what were these thoughts? Where did they come from? Thor blinked and began to think again.

"It's fine." He answered.

"I can go back—"

"Stay, I insist."

"But—"

"You are tired." Thor drew the curtains to a close. "Sleep, brother."

"_So I can monitor you." _Thor added in his head.

"It's morning, brother." Loki grumbled. "You just ate. You have enough energy to burn the whole day."

"But you do not."

"It's not as if I can steal your energy, brother."

'Sleep," Thor argued. "I'll be here, thinking."

"You _think_?" Loki blinked heavily with a smile.

"I have things to do besides burning off fat." Thor grunted. "Now sleep, before I fall asleep first."

Thor wanted to ask so many questions, like— _why did you not sleep early? What happened in your room? Do you think someone is doing this to you? Could it be Thanos? Is it the Other? Are you truly mad as they say you are? The way they touched you_—_harmed you_—is that was is unraveling you?

You bottled it up for so long—is that why you are like this?

Thor couldn't _just_ assume because his parents told him so.

It was Loki's insanity vs. Loki being controlled.

He had to stay by Loki's side but at the same time, he cannot believe in both his parents and his brother.

He had to choose sides, no matter how difficult it was.

"Sleep," Thor kissed Loki's forehead for comfort.

"And you?"

"I will be here when you wake."

_Fear_ was an unpleasant emotion that overruns all senses if one is not careful. Loki was a person who abandoned everything when he was at war with himself. Loki's weakness. In the dark corner of Loki's room, the doll's pearly eyes flashed light blue and flashed crimson. You could almost see the doll's unnaturally wide smile stretched on his face. That was only the beginning of Loki's nightmares.

Each day, will gradually get worse.

Until Loki had nothing left.

* * *

**oOo **

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think, it powers me to update faster. XD**


	4. Chapter 4 - Fears

**And so begins the HORRORS.  
Thank you for the support, lovely readers.**

* * *

**oOo **

**Chapter 4 – Fears **

Loki had mentioned the doll over dinner. Frigga and Odin were insistent that Loki still see a healer, so it wouldn't get worse, but Loki was stubborn to make them see sense.

"I don't need a healer." Loki fought.

"Dear, listen to us—" Frigga muttered.

"No, Mother. I don't need to see a healer. Does it even matter?"

"You're not sleeping well, Loki."

"I'm sleeping just fine."

"No, you are not. It's been months, Loki." She sighed. "We're worried about you. Your nightmares are getting worse."

"I am not mad."

Thor stayed silent, not wanting to get into the argument. Thor observed the scene before him. Odin was silently fuming and that was not a good sign. Frigga was trying to restrain herself from shouting, because it was impolite and her worry for Loki topped her anger when Loki continued to refuse her.

"I am not mad!" Loki stabbed the fork on the table. "Tell them, Thor!"

"I— what?" Thor blinked.

"Tell them you believe me."

"I—?" Thor hesitated, looking at his parents and at Loki.

"Thor!"

"Loki, that's enough." Frigga scolded. "Please, just please, for me. See a healer."

"No." Loki dug the fork deeper on the table. "You have to believe me."

"I saw a shadow a few days ago." Thor murmured. "But, I might have just overlooked it."

"But—that's not fair!" Loki shouted. "I'm not doing this on purpose!"

"I will not hear any more of this!" Odin slammed Gungnir on the floor with a large _thud. _"We are having dinner, and I would not have such a conversation. We are done. You will see a healer!"

"We _are _done!" Loki said sarcastically and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Thor called.

"Away from the family that does not believe me!"

Loki disregarded them and went to his room.

He saw the doll sitting by the door of the balcony, and Loki had finally snapped. He picked up the doll and eyed the stitches and scratches on its body. It looked as if it was mocking him, smiling at his misery. Loki only found the doll's features more insulting than ever before.

When he came to sense, he went to his closet and opened it.

"Damn doll." He cursed. "I hate you so much."

The doll stared at him.

"Creepy doll."

He threw it in his closet and locked the doll inside. He had faith that it wouldn't do any harm. Loki went to the balcony and stared outside, wanting to take an adventure with his brother. But apparently, he and his brother were not in good terms.

So he spent the day reading a book, and he was glad that nothing happened.

He didn't hear anything, didn't see anything.

For the first time, it was _peaceful. _

Until it was the middle of the night that Loki woke to a _soft tug_ of his hair.

There was a faint echoing of laughter from the dark. When he opened his eyes, the doll stared at him with a smile on its face. Its mouth was wide open as blood poured out like a waterfall. Its pointy teeth bled and stained Loki's sheets. Its eyes were blood shot and it stared at him like dead fish.

Loki bolted from the bed and fell on the ground.

_Squish._

"W—what?" Loki panted. "What is this?"

_Plop._

When he moved his hand, he felt something squishy in his palm. When his eyes adjusted and he lifted the squishy object, Loki almost gagged.

_Drip._

They were _entrails_ of a person.

He immediately released it and stood up, but stepped on another. It made a _pop _sound as Loki lifted his bare feet. When Loki's eyes fully adjusted to his room, he saw so much blood pooling around his feet. Dead bodies were lying around.

Their innards decorated the floor and the wall.

Red— so much—red.

"Ahh—oof—" Loki cried.

The floor suddenly dipped beneath Loki, making him lose his balance. He fell, allowing the blood to cover him. Right next to him was a skeleton ripped off its flesh, bleeding dark, its mouth open and its half cut tongue was hanging out.

_Maggots _fell out of its eyes as it stared at nothing.

Loki stood up quickly and rapidly retreated to a corner, closing his eyes and trying to make sense of what was happening to him. Loki wiped his hand of the blood and covered his mouth to prevent himself from gagging and smelling the flesh of the dead. He ignored the blood on his clothes, and focused on something else.

Was he in a dream?

Or was this real?

Loki started to panic.

When he next opened his eyes, everything was back to normal.

"I'm not mad." Loki told himself. "It was real."

The doll was nowhere in sight.

Loki waved a hand and used _magic _to light the room. Loki quickly made his way to the closet and unlocked it. His hand was shaking and he could not stop himself from panicking. The doll sat there in the corner of his closet where he left it. The blood from its mouth and the bloodshot eyes were gone, leaving the same creepy image of the doll to Loki's creative imagination.

_Having fun? _

It seemed to say.

Loki swallowed and locked the closet again.

"Ow—" Loki winced, feeling a pain on his shoulder.

He walked to the mirror and pulled down his night shirt. He exposed his shoulder and it had a _bite mark_ that reminded him of his time with the Chitauri. It was small and the skin was pierced. No wonder it hurt. Loki opened his drawer to find some bandages to wipe off the small drops of blood trickling down his shoulder.

"What are these?"

_Letters. _

Notes.

His hand writing.

_M.U.R.D.E.R. _They all said.

"What is this?" Loki questioned. "I didn't write these."

Flashes of memory filled Loki's mind of him writing them. He was in his room, he was dazed. He continued to write them and the doll was right next to him. Loki shook these thoughts. No. This was a joke, a cruel joke. He was not mad and he will not accept it.

Loki shut the drawer and pulled the sheets of the bed.

He retreated to a corner and wrapped the sheets around himself as he slid down the floor. He pulled his knees up and stared at the closet in silence.

_Thud. _

_Thud._

_Scratch. _

He heard the dull movement inside the closet as the furniture began to rumble and shake. The sleep from Loki's system was gone. The mask of indifference and instincts came into play. He was ready to fight back in case something came out of that closet, but there was none. Loki wondered how he would fight something he did not understand.

_Scratch._

He could only watch and wait.

"It's just your imagination." Loki told himself. "Wait for it to go away."

He clutched the sheets tighter around himself and tried not to fall into sleep again. For some reason, Loki could still smell the decay. He could still see the maggots squirming its way out of its eye. He could feel the blood and entrails squish through his palm.

Would anyone believe him, if he told them of this incident?

He doubted it.

Who would listen to a _liar _who was desperate for attention?

* * *

**oOo **

The library was large like the throne room, but without the pillars. When you enter the bridge with billowing red curtains, you are welcomed by large arcs that would have you think twice upon entering. Upon entering, you'll have to come up a flight of stairs and will be welcomed by another arc.

Once inside the library, you'll be overwhelmed by the largeness of it. A large single hallway in the middle surrounded by rows and columns of books shelves riddled left and right.

Above was a sky light, and on either side of the room at the top part, were small rectangular open spaces to let the cool air in. Hanging over those opening were dark red curtains billowing out and draped neatly to the floor, locked by long desks on each aisle.

Asgardian pattern traced every corner of the floor to the narrow book shelves, especially the middle of the hallway. They were patterns carved similar to the bifrost. The patterns looped and curved over lines and circles so intricate, it was beyond beautiful. The rusty gold color matched perfectly with the stone walls and floors.

And Loki was _alone _inside the library.

He sat crossed legs in one of the farther corners of the narrow book shelves. The trunk was lazily placed in front of him with the doll sitting on top of it. Books from the library and notes that Loki wrote were scattered all over the floor.

"Runes—runes," Loki mumbled. "Where is it?"

The runes were simple, yet rather stupid. Even though they translate to something of their language, it doesn't make sense enough to create a sentence.

"Rune X means _gift_." Loki mumbled. "And the next is Algiz, or Elk. Protection or unknown, what does that mean? A gift of protection, it doesn't even make sense. What do you think?"

He turned his attention to the doll, who stared at him.

Are you mad?

Maybe.

"I don't even know why I'm keeping you." Loki murmured and rolled his eyes. "Of course, that's because I cannot get rid of you."

Algiz was a rune shaped of the letter Y with a line extended in the middle. Algiz came from Yggdrasil itself as a form of energy. It was strength without the absence of fear, yet fear to warn man of danger.

"That's not right." Loki realized.

He traced a finger to the rune just by the doll's feet, making Loki question what he translated wrong.

"It's not possible for it to be there."

Loki still refused to go to the healer no matter how much his family wanted him to. The tension did not die down completely, but it was enough for Loki to go to the All-Father and ask about the trunk. Odin had been reluctant towards Loki, because he did not want him to pursue it any further. But Odin was at a stalemate with Loki, and eventually he had given in to Loki's demands.

"_It is from my Father, Borr's time." _

"_So it dates as far as 5,000 years or more?"_

"_As eternity would possibly give," Odin sighed. "Why is finding out the origin so important to you?"_

"_Because the origin left it in my room with a damn doll that keeps haunting me," Loki glared. "I have every right to know where it came from and you have no say in trying to hide it from me."_

"_I am not hiding it from you."_

"_Oh, then what are you doing, All-Father?"_

"_Merely questioning your persistence."_

"_Tell me more." He insisted mockingly._

"_They've translated it and it's in the library. There are of no significance to those runes. Some translate our language but most of them are just dark symbols. I will tell you now that going there will bring you nothing but disappointment, Loki. They've looked into it day and night and they've yet to find something useful."_

"_I doubt they've even tried."_

"_Do not dwell on it." Odin patted his shoulder and Loki flinched away. "It would do you no good, as it already does."_

"_Nothing here in Asgard but Thor does me good." Loki gave him a look._

Being alone in the library wasn't so bad, of course the traumatic image of the hallucination Loki encountered nights ago was terrifying, but it could have been worse. And being alone in the library was a distraction. He had the doll with him as well as the trunk, and he knew he was alone.

_Thud. _

Loki flinched.

He heard a book clatter to the floor and the sound echoed harshly in the background. Loki shifted to listen, but there was no sound of an intruder.

The idea was murky.

"Stay here." Loki glared at the doll.

He questioned why he was even speaking to it. Maybe he was just mad after all. Loki abandoned his writings, the scrolls, and his books and got up from where he sat. He walked to the narrow hall of the corner to find out which aisle the sound came from. When he reached the aisle, it was empty.

The book sat on the ground, waiting to be picked up.

"The Aesir's don't value books." Loki picked it up and dusted it. "The Draugr?"

The book was one of the stories he had picked out when he was bored. Loki recalled sharing that story with Thor and his friends when they had gone on an adventure when they were younger. It was a childish horror story that had chilled their bones and made some of the scream in fear.

The _Draugr _was a reanimated ghost returned from the dead and back to the living.

"_Shall I tell a story?" Volstagg piped._

"_We've heard them already!" Fandral argued._

"_Someone else." Sif muttered._

"_Tales of valor?"_

"_No, Thor." She huffed. "No more of those noble stories."_

"_What about the Draugr?" Loki smiled._

"_What's that?" Thor asked._

_Loki sat by the campfire, face illuminated by the fire as the warriors three, Lady Sif and Thor listened to him talk. They had stumbled upon unknown territory that night and had to stop to rest. It was dark out and the only light they had was the fire and the only shelter they had were the tents._

"_Maybe you don't want to hear it." Loki pretended._

"_Get on with it!" Fandral excitedly said._

"_It is said that it was once a person," Loki mumbled, his voice dark. "It was greedy, selfish and sinful. It died, and returned back from the dead, only for him to exist as a pawn to extract revenge or torment those who draw breath from every slow intake from their functional lungs."_

_Loki paused for dramatic effect._

"_The Draugr, they call it." He breathed, poking the fire._

"_What does it look like?" Sif asked._

"_It has an appearance of a dead man, with wounds swollen and dark, its flesh rotten and most foul. It is a horrid creature that was believed to travel Midgard as well. It hides behind icy glaciers, waiting for their prey."_

"_Are you sure you did not mistake them for Frost Giants?" Volstagg asked._

"_No." Loki shook his head. "To know they are near, there will be a stench that is unmistakable. It is the smell of decay and rotten flesh."_

"_Do you smell that?" Fandral asked._

"_Don't you dare!" Sif argued._

"_They are believed to be shape-shifters. They enter dreams and leave a person a gift. They curse you and attack you for no reason and it is believed that Draugr's roam these lands we step foot on."_

"_You lie, brother."_

"_I'm not, Thor." Loki bit his lips to prevent himself from laughing. "To repel them is to put straws and twigs inside your clothes and_—_wait, do you smell that_—_? Is that_— _behind you!"_

"_AHHHHHhh!" They all jumped, swinging their weapons at nothing._

_Loki snickered and turned into a laughing mess. They all grunted in annoyance, but Loki could only laugh at their predicament. The look on their faces was so predictable and funny._

_They were so gullible. _

Going back to reality, Loki shook his head.

The memory made him smile. The story was a lot scarier back then, but now, it was just childish nonsense. Loki had taken the interesting parts and shared them with Thor's friends, and of course, that got to their nerves and they did not speak to him until the end of their journey. Good times, Loki recalled.

"_Why would someone read this?"_ He mumbled. "Whoever took this book had no manners at all."

He placed the book back on the shelf and turned around to go back to his spot at the end of the narrow corner.

_Thud. _

Loki stopped.

He turned and found the book lying on the floor again. He picked it up and walked to the other aisle, but no one was there.

"That's odd."

He turned back to push it into the dusty slot where the book was, when all of a sudden he saw _dark bulging _eyes covered in blood.

He dropped the book, but Loki did not scream.

He backed away in fright and hit the book shelf behind him. He dared to look back into the small slot, but the figure was gone. Loki curiously gained enough strength to look behind the book shelf, but no one was there. Loki backed away slowly and decided not to think on it. Maybe he was just tired and he was hallucinating things again, much like he did back inside his room that night.

He stood at the middle of the large hallway, in the center of the design carved on the ground.

"I could have sworn—" Loki grumbled.

_Thud. _

He ran towards the sound and found another book lying on the ground. He did not bother to pick it up, afraid of looking at what the title said. He did not need any more distractions, and this prevented him from looking for an answer. Someone was playing with him, and did not want to be found out.

Loki did not like games that made _him _the victim.

He peeked through every aisle and noticed at the far end was the same person he had seen behind the book shelf. Loki was slightly afraid of approaching him, but how would he know if the man was real or not if he didn't try.

"Hello?" Loki called.

The man had his back turned and it merely moaned, giving Loki chills.

"D—do you need help?" He asked politely.

Screw being _polite_.

Now was not the time.

"Ughh—hughh—" It gurgled.

Loki looked at him again and was horrified.

Blood dripped from the man's back down to its legs and created dragging trails of blood on the floor. His leg was severely dislocated, twisted in every angle. Loki felt his hair rise and swallowed in fear. It continued to drag itself to the dead end that circled back to the only entrance, and this was Loki's chance to find an answer.

He slowly listened to the gurgling noise and the _slushing _sound of its leg being dragged through the hall.

Loki followed quietly.

When Loki reached the dead end, there was nothing there but the blood stopping at the corner. Loki nearly shouted in frustration.

"That's impossible!"

He walked back to the other end of the aisles and found nothing.

Feeling fear crawl all over his skin, he walked back and abandoned everything he left in the corner. He rushed out of the library as soon as he had the chance to breathe and ran into Sif.

"Loki!" Sif called. "Thor's looking for you."

"I don't have the time," Loki mumbled. "By— by any chance Sif, did you see any injured Einherjar come out of the library?"

"No." She said with concern. "Why would an Einherjar go to the library if he was injured? Is this a joke?"

"I jest not, Milady."

"I didn't see any injured men on my way in." She said. "Why? Care to describe him for me?"

"Tall man, brown hair, swollen dark eyes and a pierced through chest," Loki described. "He had a dislocated leg bent from the knee down."

"He was walking?"

"Limping, there's a blood trail left at the end of the library."

"Let me see."

Sif pushed Loki out of the way, drawing her weapon out and bravely went in while Loki followed wearily. "You are saying he is still in here?"

"He was messing with some books and I was the only one here." Loki shrugged worriedly.

"There's no blood." Sif paused.

"Oh." He was speechless.

"Oh?"

"What would you have me say?" Loki predicted this. "They must've gotten rid of the evidence."

"Loki, do you hear yourself talking?"

"I should go." He turned.

"Loki!" She called.

But he ignored her.

Loki did not want to hear another lecture, especially not from one of the warriors four. He walked out of the library, hoping to forget what he had seen and just hoped he would be able to figure out what that was. Sif however, was left in the library alone, in the middle of the huge hall.

_Thud. _

She raised her weapon and walked over to the aisle where the sound came from. There was a book on the floor and there was no one there. She realized that Loki was right, and there was no mistaking that weird inky feeling. She raised her weapon again when she saw a shadow move past but disappeared quickly. She ran to the next aisle and found nothing.

No one was there.

She turned to the corner where Loki had settled before and found the doll sitting on the top shelf. Sif tilted her head in confusing and reached out for the doll. She felt its sharp teeth pierce through her index finger and she retracted her hand quickly.

"Ow!" Sif winced. "Norns, that is sharp."

The doll fell to the floor with a soft hiss.

She sucked the blood from her finger and picked up the doll by stabbing her sword on its chest. Sif eyed it carefully from an angle and it gave her bad feelings. She did not want to stay in the library, so she took the doll to try and find Thor.

She had a lot to tell Thor of this tale.

* * *

**oOo **

Loki walked alone, a little into the night through the streets of Asgard. There were many places to be in, not just the palace and there were places that nobody dared visit. Loki chose the upper parts of Asgard near the bridge. It was rarely used and mostly for shortcuts and there were no guards in sight.

"_Maybe they're right." _Loki thought. _"Maybe I don't know myself anymore."_

Loki walked through the piles of orange leaves, allowing himself to step on it with a _crunch._ Suddenly, the breeze turned towards Loki, making it a bit chilly for him. He was a Frost Giant, but that didn't mean he didn't feel cold. He could still feel it, just not to the extent that others do.

_Crunch. _

Loki turned his head to see Thor, holding the doll.

"Why are you here?" Loki scowled.

"You're not happy to see me." Thor grimaced. "I came to see if you were well."

"How did you know I was here?" He asked. "I thought Heimdall could not see me."

"I did not ask him. I merely guessed. You were distracted so it was easy for me to sneak up on you. I think I'm finally learning how to be silent."

"Good for you." Loki smiled. "But I never thought you used this bridge."

"I know where you venture to when you want time alone."

"Spying on me now, are you, dearest brother?"

"Aye." Thor grinned. "I am here to expose you of your secrets."

"You dare not deny it." Loki pouted. "How utterly direct."

"I'd rather you know my intention before you scream at me."

"And what intentions are they, Thor?"

"To apologize and to help."

"Why?" Loki wondered.

"Because I was wrong to allow you to fight this alone."

"Do you trust me?"

"I have to."

"Then you are forced on the idea, brother." Loki looked away. "But I forgive you."

"You always do."

"You know my reason."

The wind blew, allowing the orange leaves to fall from the bridge.

"Sif found this in the library." Thor lifted the doll. "She may have stabbed it and told me it was because it pricked her finger. Before you react, the doll was at the top shelf, so she reached out for it. She also told me she saw a shadow."

"She did?"

"Aye, and she somewhat believes you." He shrugged.

"Does she now?" Loki took the doll from Thor. "I don't believe myself anymore, Thor."

"If the nightmares continue to plague you, you are more than welcome to stay in my room."

"I do not wish to be a burden to you."

"It's not a burden."

"It is."

"Loki—"

"What will the servants think?" Loki frowned. "More importantly, everyone believes I'm mad. I'm already agreeing to the idea that I am, but why should I prove them right when I could do the opposite?"

"The servants would think that you merely wish for my company?"

"No, Thor." He turned to him. "They would think strange things. Rumors would not be good for your reputation. Let it be on mine, but never yours, brother."

"I do not care about my reputation if it is my brother's that is being sullied." Thor placed a hand to Loki's neck for comfort.

"Tell that to the fates, or to the Norns." Loki laughed. "Alright, brother. Just once more and I will listen to you."

"You would stay with me?"

"If you wish," Loki snickered, trying to forget everything.

"What are you snickering at, Loki?" Thor stared at him suspiciously.

Loki entangled himself from Thor's hand and turned his back to walk away. He continued to snicker as Thor continued to follow with confusion.

"This will be a wonderful rumor."

"What?"

Thor watched as Loki paused and turned back to him.

"I do love causing chaos," Loki raised the doll and pretended it was Thor. "It's been so long since I made mischief and this is the perfect chance. This could potentially ruin you, brother. You'd bring shame to Odin."

Thor watched as Loki played with the doll, moving its tiny arms, with a grin on his face.

"Loki, what are you talking about?" Thor blinked.

"The dishonor and the shame you allow yourself to succumb to. To have such lewd thoughts to cave away at your desires! You are so lecherous and so vulgar as to ask your little brother of such a thing. You wish to have your desires fulfilled—"

Loki shook his head, walking back inside.

He lifted the doll face to face with him and pretended to talk to it and shed a tear.

"I thought my brother and I had something special, dear child."

"I— Loki—what?" Thor was speechless.

"Mother would never hear the end of this!" Loki grinned and began to run for his life.

"Stop that!" Thor ran as soon as Loki bolted. "Loki! Come back here!"

"To bed he says! Stay with him, he says!"

"What?" Thor shouted. "Stop that!"

"MOTHER!" Loki screamed. "Thor means to take me to be—"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Thor tackled Loki and they were both sent sprawling to the floor. The doll was instantly disregarded as Thor pinned Loki to the ground to shut him up. Loki wouldn't stop laughing.

"I jest!" He laughed. "Get off me!"

"Not until you take those words back."

"Do you deny them?"

Thor blinked, looking at Loki blinking his eyes in a seductive way, clearly jesting. Thor rolled his eyes as Loki continued to laugh underneath him.

From there, Loki realized something.

All his worries disappeared whenever he spent time with his brother.

Every time, his worries instantly disappeared at his brother's presence. Just like that, they were gone in an instant. It was a ray of light, as if the nightmares dared not to touch him when Thor was near. It was an idea Loki wanted to cling onto. The nightmares ran from his brother, and he did not know why.

Thor was his hope.

But he could also be Loki's downfall.

* * *

**oOo**

His theory would no sooner be proved wrong.

That night, Loki fisted the sheets and curled tightly into a ball. Thor was sleeping right next to him, but that thought faded away so quickly, that Loki believed he was alone on his _own _bed. He fisted the sheets as if he was cold and he trembled slightly.

In the dark corner of the room, a lean bulky figure walked over to the edge of Loki's bed.

Through the moonlight's haze, the figures patterns traced along its skin. It was dark and blue that its semblance to Loki was almost immediate. The clouds outside covered the light, allowing the darkness to continue to drown him. When the figure stopped in front of the bed, Loki immediately felt its presence and slowly woke up.

He blinked his eyes for a few times and turned his gaze to the edge of the bed. Loki's eyes widened as he pushed himself up to sit. He raised the sheets up to his nose for defense, as if that would help him. The figure didn't move, as the clouds outside allowed the moon light to resurface, Loki couldn't help but freeze.

Laufey stood there with all his glory and shame.

"You killed me." He moaned.

Loki squeaked.

"My own son,"

Blood gurgled from his mouth, dripping to the sheets.

The blood pooled on the sheets, frightening Loki. He had completely forgotten about Thor, sleeping right next to him as he watched blood dribble down Laufey's chin. It poured out of his mouth and the same words translated through the thick crimson blood.

Loki fidgeted, unable to breathe properly.

All of a sudden, Laufey's head was sliced perfectly, allowing his head to fall to the sheets and roll towards Loki's lap.

Loki covered his mouth as his breath hitched.

Laufey's neck showered drops to the carpet as the body fell limp on the floor, cringing as if the last ounces of strength had not been used. The head stared back at Loki, crimson eyes bled. Laufey's mouth was open as blood gurgled out, tainting more of the white sheet.

Loki had enough.

He carefully got out of bed and moved silently through the dark room, away from the convulsing body. When he opened the door _something_ dropped from the ceiling from a loosely made noose.

_Drip._

The shadow swayed.

_Drip._

And swayed.

_Plop._

Loki covered his mouth from screaming and lowered his gaze.

Blood continued to drip slowly.

Loki forced himself to look up and saw Sif hanging dead and limp from the ceiling with a rope wrapped tightly around her neck. Her mouth watered with saliva, and Loki could tell she choked. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and showed nothing but teary white eyes.

It showed nothing but a blank stare.

Her fingers were still twitching and her body convulsed slightly.

Blood dripped from her finger.

"S—sif?" Loki's lips quivered.

What was happening?

Sif's body stopped moving from the noose. Loki carefully maneuvered himself to the side of the door, not wanting to touch Sif's body.

He was already in tears.

"_This is not Asgard." _Loki stared at the hallway.

He moved away from Sif, to stand at the wall. Each end of the hallway was a little darker. The walls were rusty, torn and bloody. And blood trailed the floors, hand prints and scratch marks also riddled them.

"This is just a dream." He told himself.

"**A glimpse you shall see." **The voice laughed. **"A world created for thee." **

Loki found himself walking for some unknown reason.

He walked through nexus of closed spaces, through scattered remains of the imprisoned and killed. He could smell rotten flesh and watch as the maggots ate them away. Loki covered his mouth and swallowed thickly the bile that rose up his throat.

He blinked his tears away and continued to walk.

"_AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" _

Loki flinched at the blood-curdling scream.

"_MAKE IT STOOOopp!" _

There were faint screams and cries calling for him.

_Squish. _

Loki lifted his bare foot and saw that he had stepped on a human eye, making Loki cringe and squeak in fear. Loki could feel it in-between his toes, making him want to gag. Loki stopped. He just couldn't take it anymore. He stopped in the middle of the hall and covered his eyes. He ignored the feeling on his bare foot and the sounds he could hear from the distance.

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

Suddenly, Loki felt something touch him and try to pry his hands away.

"Please—"

Loki did not fight.

The person managed to pry his hands off, but Loki kept his eyes shut.

"Stop—please." Loki begged.

All of a sudden, he was embraced and shushed into comfort.

When Loki opened his eyes, he was fisting a dark colored tunic. His head was on a bulky shoulder and the person's arm was wrapped around his waist while the other stroked his hair gently. In the corner of his eye, he was in Asgard's hallway and a familiar scent attacked his nose. It was soothing, calming and truly familiar.

"It's alright." Thor said. "I am right here, Loki."

He hadn't realized he was crying until Thor pulled him away and wiped his tears.

"Thor—" He called out, voice trembling.

"We shall see a healer." Thor said sternly. "And you will go."

Loki merely nodded.

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think.  
It fuels me to update faster. xD**


	5. Chapter 5 - Descry

**To Nancy: **_**You and I have the same twisted mind, girl. But damn, you weren't even trying with that idea and yet you nailed it. I've already had these chapters written out weeks ago before you even reviewed and you called it for some reason. Just**__—__**how? We must secretly be connected for you to gain that idea, it's either that… or you're spying on me.**_

* * *

**oOo**

**Chapter 5 – Descry **

It was in the middle of the night and they were inside the healing rooms. Thor, Frigga and Eir stood by the door while Loki lay on one of the tables, being checked by another healer. An image of Loki hovered above him made of thin bronze-like threads. Loki stared at it, wondering what was wrong with him. Nothing made sense, it was just confusion.

"How is he, Eir?" Frigga asked.

"We do not see any problem, Queen Frigga." Eir whispered. "Trauma would explain his lack of sleep, but the nightmares are beyond our imagination. We cannot explain it."

"How is that possible?" Thor wondered.

"Severe trauma is the only explanation we could give. His nightmares originated from it, and we figured it probably caused him to hallucinate."

"Is there a way to help him?"

"Unless Loki is willing, we cannot do anything beyond that." She sighed. "We have checked his mind, we cannot pass further. He has blocked us."

"Unconsciously?" Frigga gasped.

"I'm afraid so."

Thor stared at Loki, who slowly pushed the healer away and sat on the table, staring at the floor. The healer eyed Loki and said something to him that made Loki glare at her. The woman walked away before Loki could say anything. Thor watched as Loki had that confused expression on his face. Thor eyed as the woman gave him a glance and smiled at him before walking away.

"Always charming ladies wherever you go," Eir smiled. "Her name is Geitiri."

"Why does she give Loki a strange look?" Thor wondered.

"Frost Giants killed her whole family during the war, directly with her father, indirectly with her mother and sister." She explained. "Of course, she has nothing left and so she joined us here to support herself. She has not let go of that grudge since."

"And she means to take it out on Loki?"

"Hate is not easy to overcome." Frigga sighed.

"Some of us are trapped by it." Eir added. "Much like Loki is trapped in his own delusion."

"Will he recover?"

"I know not. As a healer, I should see it clearly, but something is amiss." She mumbled. "Loki lacks control of his magic. It is unstable. Have you seen him use magic recently?"

"No." Thor shook his head. "Not that I am aware of."

"His mind is troubled, and his magic could be reacting negatively to his emotions. However, we aren't sure if this relates at all. It is mere theories to us."

"My poor child," Frigga gasped.

She began to walk to Loki, who noticed her presence and turned to her with little effort. Frigga embraced Loki, but Loki remained tense, staring at nothing but the wall behind her, making Frigga worry.

"I am tired."

"I know, child."

"I wish to sleep," Loki murmured. "Peacefully."

"You will—you will."

"I do not recommend it, but," Eir walked forward with Thor following behind. "There is an elixir I could give Loki to help him sleep, because I doubt any amount of Seidr would help."

"How so?" Loki blinked. "Wouldn't spells be easier?"

"Your magic is unstable."

"But Eir—"

"Your Seidr would find ways to counter ours as well as Queen Frigga's and given your strength when it comes to anything involving sorcery, _that_ would be a very unwise idea."

"What elixir is it?" Frigga asked.

"It is a rare elixir made long ago, my Queen, rarely used by our warriors. So far there are no serious side effects that could cause any harm. It aids in a dreamless sleep, but the only complication is that it cannot be used regularly with patients such as Loki."

"Why?" Loki wondered. "Wouldn't it cure me?"

"Not permanently." She sighed. "It is for the troubled, that much is clear, but only a small amount must be taken. We believe that an overdose is lethal."

"How lethal?" Thor asked.

"Quite so," Eir titled her head. "We know not the extent. None have tried to go beyond what we told them to take. For now, I would allow Loki some, but I do not fully suggest it."

"You said he cannot take it regularly."

"Aye, that is true, Thor." She nodded. "Usually we've only given our patients one drink, and they do not return for the next. Once or twice is enough, but we do not recommend more. None have sleeping problems that lasts months or years. That is why Loki's problem proves to be difficult."

"There's nothing wrong with me." Loki complained. "Perhaps this is just a mere phase."

"A phase of what?" Thor challenged.

"It must be something, but I am fine!"

"You have severe trauma, child." Frigga scolded. "With what Eir and the other healers saw, you have a severe case of anxiety and emotional distress."

"That is not true."

"You may deny it all you want darling, but it would not change anything." Frigga eyed Loki with sadness. "I know it is difficult to accept and that you cannot see it for yourself, but we are worried. At least try and see this from our point of view."

Eir went to the shelf and took a small vial in the corner. Loki watched carefully and saw the amount Eir poured into the small glass of water. She placed four large drops of the vial and mixed it. There was a soft glow of purple mixing in with the water before it vanished.

Eir handed it to Loki.

"What does it taste like?" Thor curiously asked.

"There is no taste." She replied. "It merely imitates water, but has a good calming effect."

"Oh."

Loki stared at it cautiously, unsure if he wanted to be in a dreamless state. The water didn't look different, and he feared that even the effects of an ancient remedy won't save him. Loki felt a bit disheartened at the thought of it. He glanced at Frigga and Thor before downing the drink with a single gulp.

"Well?" Thor asked.

Loki smacked and licked his lips. "I don't feel better."

"Of course not," Eir snickered. "The effects are for later, so I suggest you return to your room and get some rest. Perhaps even the All-Mother may rest."

* * *

**oOo **

Loki was in a dreamless state within moments, but of course in the bottom of Loki's heart he knew that this wouldn't last long. That night, he was guarded by both Frigga and Thor. Frigga sat on the bed, humming a soft Asgardian melody while Thor sat on the carpet floor, waiting for Loki to fall asleep. Frigga left as soon as Loki had fallen asleep. Thor stayed with him for the rest of it.

Peaceful was it, yet it never lasted.

A few days later, Loki was demanding for the elixir.

"I cannot give it to you, Loki." Eir scolded. "It is far too dangerous. Once is enough."

"Once or twice, that is what you said." Loki retaliated. "The nightmares would not stop, Eir."

"Does Thor know you are here?"

"No."

"Does your Mother?"

"They don't have to know," He muttered. "Just—one more?"

"It has only been days, Loki."

"Please, Eir."

Eir couldn't give it to him for a lot of reasons, namely he would become reliant to the strange substance or it would cause harmful effects on his body. Eir did not want that to happen under her watch. However, when she looked at Loki again, she could not resist those tired eyes. Her heart eventually gave in and she allowed Loki another, but insisted on the fact that it would be the last.

"Only one more." She made clear.

Loki nodded.

Eir walked over to the shelf and made him a new one.

"Thank you."

"This is the last time, Loki." She warned.

Loki nodded and drank it. When he went back to his room, he was out in minutes. Soon after, the nightmares flooded him again, and Loki found himself longing for that elixir that leaves him peaceful. The hauntings were getting worse and there was nothing to explain it. Loki found himself so distant and it was affecting his family. He never wanted to be a burden, especially after he returned.

What he was becoming, was something he did not want to allow.

The more Loki walked out of the palace walls and into the staring eyes of every individual Aesir he came across, it felt like being burned alive in scorching red hot flames. People talked about him more, mocked him in silence, whispers came and harsh glares came.

Loki found himself happier without any attention.

Without prying eyes to survey and judge his every action.

He was happier alone.

* * *

**oOo **

**Days Later…**

Loki was in the bathroom, trying to soothe his aching muscles. The nightmares were the same yet it gradually changed each day, making it worse and worse to come by. _Laufey _was always there, and for some reason, so was Lady Sif.

They were both dead, but the deaths would be different.

Sometimes, Laufey would die painfully, sometimes blissfully, as if the dream wanted him to regret and feel sorry for what he had done, but at the same time, be confused and hurt.

Sif died painfully every time, as if Loki wouldn't care about her. She died either being hanged, poisoned, or have a large would around her body that would make her bleed. Every time Loki found her, she was always half dead and staring with blank eyes.

This took a toll on Loki's emotions.

In fear of being branded a mad man, Loki kept the thoughts to himself. Besides, it would do his family no good to allow his problems to wander. They were too caught up in his misery that they too had become miserable with him. Loki did not want that to happen again. So what better way than to fool them into thinking that he was better?

With an illusion, of course.

However, Loki knew that his little charade would be broken by Odin. He was too smart for that, but if it made Frigga and all of Asgard happy and silent, Odin would have to make due and ignore Loki's problem for now. If Loki had it under control, enough to fool his Mother and Brother, then that was enough for Odin.

Loki hated it.

Right now, he just wanted to burn the world in silence.

"_The Norns hate my existence." _

In the baths, Loki sat on the ledge of the large pool with his back turned. He had his head over his crossed arms, tiredly resting it on the floor. His chest down was submerged in water.

The doll sat in front of him.

"I should really give you a name." Loki muttered, poking the doll. "I don't know what to call you. Perhaps I should name you after someone annoying."

The doll remained silent.

"What do you think?"

Nothing.

Loki sighed and pouted, knowing it was fruitless to even try.

"Was it just me or was that elixir Eir gave to me was not strong enough?" Loki absently said. "I do not know what to do anymore, nor if I know that I am mad and troubled or if this is all a curse that I am being subjected to as punishment. It's all confusing."

Loki untangled one arm and carefully poked the doll.

The doll eyed him.

He stared back.

"I still cannot get rid of you, child." He sighed. "No matter how hard I try, you always come back to haunt me."

Loki could have sworn the doll smirked.

"Do you not get tired of it?"

Loki sighed loudly.

"Shame."

Loki sighed when he got nothing but silence, so he pushed himself away from the ledge he sat on and submerged himself in water before coming back up to stare at the doll. It still remained where it sat, making Loki doubt whatever plan it might be concocting now. He pushed himself to the deeper side of the pool and floated carefully, his feet inches from the pool floor.

Loki tilted his head and stared at the ceiling, and eyed the intricate designs.

Swirls—lots of curves and circles—and…

Thud.

Loki blinked.

He stopped moving and turned to the doll.

The doll lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling as if to mock him.

Hilarious.

"Very funny," Loki grimaced. "You should come up with more ways to scare."

Stupid doll.

Copying his movements.

Loki understood one thing. The doll was there in his life and it would not go away. It was a good thing that Loki did not have to witness it vanish. It did not try to kill him personally but Loki had the idea that it was probably just making him paranoid. That gave him the assurance to stop screaming at every little action it gave.

He was getting used to the idea of it.

Of course, where was the fun in accepting it?

That's the mischievous side of him talking, and Loki hated that as well.

He looked back at the ceiling and felt sleep overwhelm him. He dipped his head in the water to drown his thoughts away and noticed a shadow move from above. It hovered closely to the edge, as if reaching out to him.

Loki couldn't make out the shape.

"_Thor?" _

Loki tried to rise up, but was unable to.

It felt like someone was holding his head down, and Loki struggled to push up. He felt water rush into his lungs, and he could hear a faint laughter muffled by the water. When Loki blinked, he found himself in a water full of _blood. _

"_Help me!"_

Loki began to panic.

"_Someone help me!"_

He focused all of his energy and shot it wildly all over the place. The force holding his head down disappeared and the blast drained half of the water in the bath pool, leaving it to settle just above his waist.

Loki coughed and swam to the edge.

"_This has got to stop." _Loki coughed, slumping to the floor.

The doll was gone.

Loki couldn't find time to care.

* * *

**oOo **

"Thor, how is Loki?" Fandral said as he lay on the ground.

He found himself extremely exhausted after his battle with Sif, but of course it was enjoyable. Volstagg sat on the ground by Fandral's side, and Sif leaned on the pillar while Hogun sat on the railing next to it that was a little higher than the bench Thor sat on. The five of them were lounging around the training ground, talking nonsense and it lead to talking about Loki.

"I suppose he is well."

"Where is he, Thor?" Volstagg asked.

"In his room."

"Why?"

"Why do you not ask him for yourself, Fandral?" Thor glared. "Loki wishes to be alone. Is that not reason enough? I've kept count of the number he's been to Eir this past year and it is beyond what I imagined."

"You are exaggerating." Sif said.

"I am not." He shook his head. "It is getting worse and he is not fooling anyone."

"Who knew Thor was such a good liar." Fandral smiled.

"I am not." He breathed. "I just do not want to alarm Loki."

"You cannot blame him."

"Of course not, Sif, but his stunts are foolish and irrational no matter how cunning it is. He should seek our help, not hide it."

"Loki has his reasons."

"That is what I fear the most."

"Well if you wish for your spirits to be lifted," Sif drew her double edged sword. "Then do battle with me."

"Must I?"

"Thor admits defeat at the hands of a fair maiden!" Fandral whooped. "The day Sif rules is Ragnarok!"

"Shame." Hogun voiced.

"The horror!" Volstagg whined.

"You know not what you are getting into, Sif."

"Do I hear correctly?" She mocked. "Prince Thor is ready to give up and admit defeat!"

"Never!"

Thor stood up and reached for Fandral's sword.

"Thor will avenge me!"

"Aye, I will Fandral!" He grinned. "I will use this to defeat Lady Sif!"

"Who said I will be defeated?"

"You jest!"

"I do not." She readied herself. "Coward."

"Daylight is wasting!" Volstagg shouted.

"Just fight already!" Fandral laughed.

* * *

**oOo **

Sick.

Loki felt so sick.

_Make it stop! _

Loki dry heaved on the toilet, trying to calm his nerves down, but nothing was working. He was shaking horribly and the panic attack was rising. Where was someone when he needed them? He sat there for a while, staring at the cold hard floor as his fingers drummed silently on his knees. He needed to wait it out before he could do anything.

"_It shouldn't be this worse." _Loki thought. _"I wasn't like this before." _

Denial.

His throat was in excruciating pain and he could feel it burn.

_Make it stop!_

It was so uncomfortable.

_Make it stop! _

He needed water, badly.

_Stop it! _

_Please! _

Loki pushed himself up from the bathroom floor and went out slowly, his whole body shaking. He took a glass of water from his night stand to get water from the faucet. When he did, he walked out from the bathroom again to sit on the bed and allow the nausea to settle.

When it didn't, Loki placed the glass of water on the night stand and ran back into the bathroom.

_Please, no more. _

Heimdall was useless.

Loki shivered on the floor as nothing came out from his mouth. Only the burning sensation of his throat remained. He nervously got up again and carefully maneuvered back to the room.

"_Tired, so tired." _Loki mumbled in his head.

Was it withdrawal or a symptom?

Or it could be something else entirely.

"What are you doing here?!" Loki croaked with wide eyes. "How did—?"

The doll sat on the bed.

Smiling.

"Don't you have somewhere else you need to be?"

It smiled happily, as if it wanted to be welcomed back into Loki's arms.

"Of course you miss me."

Loki rolled his eyes and walked towards the doll to sit right next to it. He sat on the bed and took the glass of water. It was so transparent, calming and soothing. He downed it carefully and sighed in relief. He placed the bottle down and rubbed his throat. The water was working, and his throat wasn't scratchy anymore.

"That's a relief."

Loki picked up the doll and placed it on his lap.

The doll was more torn and broken that it once was before, and Loki wasn't sure how that happened.

"Where did you go?" He asked.

He shook the doll twice, but nothing happened.

Nothing ever does.

Suddenly…

_Help. _

Loki blinked when he heard it.

_Help. _

It repeated.

"What?" He asked. "Help?"

_Help. _

It said over and over again.

"Help what?"

_Help. _

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?" Loki wondered, and that's when it hit him.

_Help. _

"You want to help me?"

_Help. _

It seemed to confirm.

"That's odd." He yawned. "I never realized I was this tired."

He placed the doll on the pillow and pushed himself up to his feet. Loki blinked when the world began to spin. He shook his head and closed his eyes for a bit before turning to the doll. It was smiling wider than usual and it was staring at him strangely.

Was it always like that?

Help, it said.

Loki felt a chill, and it was colder than usual.

He swayed on his feet.

He tasted blood.

And then he blacked out.

* * *

**oOo **

Eir ran down the hall and held up her dress as she barreled through the hallway. She muttered a cry for help to Heimdall to call for the King and Queen's attention. She wouldn't be running if it wasn't so dire. She ran past a couple of people on her way to the Palace chambers, through the balcony above the training ground. Fandral, who was looking up, saw the commotion going on.

"Is that Eir?"

"Where?" Thor lifted his head up. "She looks to be in a good mood."

"I do not think she is my Prince."

Thor had a bad feeling in his gut, but his brain said no. It took moments for the panic to go away yet he couldn't help but worry. Thor noticed people around them whispering to each other. They heard words such as suicide, cry for attention and a lot more rumors.

"What is going on?" Hogun asked.

Thor sat straighter when he saw a guard running towards them to bring news Thor dreaded upon hearing.

When the guard explained what was happening…

Thor couldn't help but run.

* * *

**oOo **

"Thor, slow down!" Sif called.

"Even if you get there quickly, they would still be tending to the younger prince." Fandral said. "You would not be allowed entrance!"

Thor's hand shook in anger and confusion. He had known something horrible was to happen, yet he couldn't foresee it. He was angry at Loki, but mostly at himself for not seeing the signs it would lead to. When they reached the healing room, he found his parents standing at the door.

"Thor!" Frigga embraced him.

"What happened?"

"Loki happened," Odin grimaced. "I should have known better than to allow that boy freedom. We should have taken action, and yet I allowed him to play us the fool."

"You knew?" Thor frowned.

"We wanted what was best for him and thought that if we leave it be. The answer would present itself. We were wrong. Apparently, leaving him to his own fragile mind led him to do something unimaginable."

"With all due respect, All-Father," Sif said. "What happened?"

"Eir called Heimdall to gain our attention." He replied. "She tried to open his door, but couldn't pry it open. She said Loki's life was in danger."

"We go there as soon as we could." Frigga cried. "Loki's closet blocked the door, preventing us entrance. We pushed our way in and found him unconscious and barely breathing."

"Eir is tending to him as we speak." Odin sighed.

Eir came out of the door, panting.

She closed it behind her and stopped the Queen and King from entering. They heard Loki scream and Thor couldn't hold back the pain in his heart. Loki was begging, and they could do nothing but wait. Eir remained by the door, holding the door handles together.

"We are doing our best, your majesties." She whispered. "It is not good for you to enter, nor be anywhere near here. Your hearts may not take it."

"What is happening, Eir?" Frigga asked frantically. "You never explained—"

"Overdose of the vial."

"The elixir," Thor gasped. "How did he get his hands on it?"

"I know not." Eir lowered her gaze. "I had one of my healers, Svala, dust the shelves of the elixirs just a while ago when she found one of the vials missing. I saw to it and realized it was the one I gave to Loki. None other would take it so I figured it was him. He had pleaded days before for me to give him a second taste of dreamless slumber, your majesty. He was desperate and I could not refuse the poor boy. I know not how he got his hands on it."

"You are not to blame, Eir." Odin said.

Loki suddenly screamed inside the room.

"What are they doing to him?" Volstagg asked. "He is in agony."

"We are trying to minimize the damage the elixir is giving him, if we do not do anything, he might not wake up. The elixir is similar to Seidr, and is painful when extracted."

"Oh my—" Frigga cried.

"There is also something you need to know." Eir said. "Loki has scars on his wrists from knife wounds."

"So the boy means to kill himself, is that it?" Odin gritted his teeth. "What is that boy thinking?"

"You cannot blame him," Frigga wiped his tears. "He is not himself."

"_Please be alive," _Thor chanted in his head. _"Please be well."_

"Save him, Eir. Save my son."

"I vow this."

* * *

**oOo **

**Five days later… **

Thor kept investigating what he could do in order to find what happened to his brother. Loki was not himself, and it was strange for Loki to act that way. It couldn't have been a coincidence. There had to be a reason, and he would find out what it was.

"That is ENOUGH!"Odin had shouted.

"No more will we listen to such slanders," Frigga addressed. "You people should be ashamed of yourselves."

Odin and Frigga had addressed the rumors that were spreading about Loki being suicidal. Apparently, word had gotten out of Loki's sudden placement in the healing rooms, causing a stir. Rumors were beyond ridiculous. Thor heard gossip that he was sleeping with his brother and that Loki was his whore.

This did not go well with the family.

Odin was angry and dishing out punishments while Frigga felt a slight depression because of it. Thor had gotten gloomier, and so did all of Asgard.

Nobody was happy.

Thor stayed by Loki's side most of the time after the incident.

But Loki was silent.

The two of them had fallen apart day by day.

It was hard.

They were now distant from each other, unlike before.

Thor's visits were always quick and fleeting.

"Are you well?" Thor asked.

"Do I look well?" Loki said sadly.

"Somewhat."

The memory was fresh from their minds.

"I wouldn't do that, and you know it." He turned away. "I wouldn't poison myself. There are better ways to die than poisoning oneself, and coming from me, you would've known what I would've done if I was desperate. It would be quick and easy. No pain—"

Thor did know it, but how was he to believe that.

"I cannot help it, Loki."

"Why, because it only happened days ago?"

"Because you did it."

"It's funny," Loki laughed bitterly. "This happened before."

Thor grimaced.

"I blacked out in my room thrice now, it's funny."

"This is no laughing matter, Loki."

"It is to me."

"It's not to me." Thor growled.

"Don't act like you don't hate me, Thor." Loki bitterly scoffed. "We both know the past means nothing now. Whatever horrors I faced mean nothing to what I'm doing to myself."

"We will figure this out."

"I'd like to see you try." Loki huffed. "Now get out of my room."

Thor did so without argument.

"Alert me if anyone enters through the halls." Thor spoke to the guards. "No one will enter these halls without permission, is this clear?"

"Aye."

Nobody dared touch Loki without Thor's orders.

It felt like an eternity to Thor.

Days flew quickly.

Each time Thor tried to figure out what happened that day, the more complicated it got. Thor was losing hope that everything would be okay. Thor even had the idea of pulling Loki out of his shell and dragging him to Midgard to the Avengers.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Thor sat inside his room, staring at the floor. He heard flapping sounds head towards him and when he looked up, the raven was perched right on the ledge above his room, tilting its head and squawking loudly. Thor stared at him for a moment as it continued to squawk.

"What do you want Huginn?" Thor grumbled. "I am thinking."

Huginn flew down and landed on the bed next to Thor.

"So it is Muninn who is guarding Loki now?" He laughed. "You two take shifts, that is good."

Huginn squawked.

"How is he?"

The raven answered him.

"So he is sleeping?" Thor nodded. "That is good, he needs the rest. So why are you here? Oh—? Father sent you. I suppose he is also worried about me, but he does not need to. I am well."

Thor grimaced, when he saw something glisten on the top of his shelf.

Thor stood up and walked towards it.

He saw the doll sitting neatly on the top shelf.

"That wasn't there before." Thor narrowed his eyes. "Where did you come from?"

Thor saw the doll holding the empty vial.

Thor pulled it and gripped the doll, pulling the vial away from it. The doll smiled and stared at Thor, who spun towards Huginn. The raven squawked loudly and flew towards the doll, trying to pick at its eyes. Thor pulled the doll away from Huginn before the raven could destroy it.

"What are you doing Huginn?" Thor grimaced. "You don't think that the doll—?"

Was Loki that desperate for death?

Or was Loki that desperate for someone to believe him?

Thor wasn't sure.

Would Loki go through all those means to hurt himself just so he could have the attention of his people, because Thor found that very unlikely. He knew his brother didn't want to get hurt, so why was Loki hurting?

"Kkrrawww!" Huginn flapped his wings.

Thor held the doll and the vial as he eyed Huginn.

"I do not trust this." Thor grimaced.

* * *

**oOo **

"**A glimpse you shall see, a world created for thee." **

Loki found himself in a dark hallway, unable to tell where he was. The hallway was large and bloody. The walls were torn and painted red. The stench of decay filled Loki's nose, making it unbearable to move.

Thunder roared through the skies outside.

Loki softly watched the drops of water fall from the ceiling, pooling down on the floor, creating a puddle.

It was raining.

Odd.

"_Where am I?" _Loki wondered.

He walked through the hallway with each leap of courage. He was breathing hard and trying not to make a sound. He was grateful that he knew how to be silent. Otherwise he might alert something he didn't want to try and imagine.

He avoided the bodies that littered the floor.

Each fresh and decaying.

Squawk!

Loki stopped moving and looked up.

There were a lot of people hanged from above, each gagged and tied like a wild boar served for feasts. Loki felt his body shake in disgust. Loki braced himself on the torn bloody wall and silently dry heaved.

Nothing.

Loki's finger shook delicately.

When he managed to compose himself, he felt the temperature drop. His breath became foggy and misty, and the hallway felt deserted and eerie. It sent chills up his spine, making him cringe.

"Krraww!"

When Loki looked up, he saw Huginn and Muninn sitting on the head of one of the dead bodies hanging on the noose from the ceiling. They were pecking the dead man's eyes out. The raves had beady white eyes, looking blind. They had sharp and edgy claws and their beaks were bloody and have torn.

He saw Huginn gouge out the person's eye and swallowed it whole.

Loki covered his mouth in disgust.

"_This is not them." _He confirmed. _"This is Hel!" _

Loki carefully walked past them.

"_Don't say anything." _

He heard flapping sounds from behind him.

"_Don't do anything!" _He thought.

Suddenly, the two ravens dove past him and flew up the ledge of the arc above. They tilted their heads and squawked as loudly as they could. This made Loki's heart skip a bit.

They weren't calling anyone…

Were they?

"AHhhhhhhhhhh!"

Loki cringed.

A blood curdling scream came from one of the giant doors through the hallway to the right.

"Ahhh—urghh—gllupp…"

Loki eyed the ravens as they continued to squawk in excitement. They leapt off the ledge and dove to Loki, who ducked and was sent to his knees. The ravens flew to the right hallway and squawked happily. Loki heard an old man mutter something at the hall, and the door creaked loudly.

"_This is far from a dream." _Loki thought. _"A glimpse… it said… a world created for me."_

What does that mean?

Loki pushed himself up to his feet and carefully eyed the rest of the hall. It was dimly lighted, but enough to walk through, but that's not what got Loki curious. It was the giant door to the right. It was large, rusty gold and painted with blood.

It looked Asgardian.

There were hand marks and scratches that littered the floor, and when Loki walked forward, blood pooled and seeped out from the inside.

Not a good sign.

He tried to avoid the blood beneath him, and peeked at the door.

There was light and he could see the two ravens.

They were happily squawking.

And an old familiar raspy voice was humming and singing, contorted with grief, anger and sadness, but above all, contorted with insanity.

"Sleep, the Prince will slumber." It sang.

Loki turned his gaze to see a junkyard of bodies piled on top of each other. Their chest and innards hung open for all to see. Each of the bodies were slowly rotting and the ravens… they were feasting.

"He wished for sleep—he wished it so." It laughed menacingly. "Gave to him, gave he did, terrible… awful!"

The mad had his back turned to Loki. Loki could barely see him from that angle, but he was so sure he knew who it was. The clothes were very familiar. Loki wanted to look more closely, because that white bloody hair, and that— well he wanted to see more.

"_Could it be?" _Loki asked himself.

Was it… was it his—?

Crunch.

"Gone!" The old man screamed.

Lick.

Slurp.

"Gon-mmph." It swallowed thickly. "My child, my-mbboy,mhmm-son."

It chewed.

Bite.

Crunch.

Drip.

"Dismissed him—innocent—ahahha!" It shouted sadly. "King—king—me! Me! Ahaha! Kingdom-mine-mine-alone! Yes! YES me! You—you didn't help-you're foolish—foolish!"

It sang devilishly and furiously in a creepy manner.

The door creaked.

"Who's there?" It turned its head slightly. "My boy?"

Loki's eyes widened.

"MY BOY!"

Suddenly, Loki was ripped from the nightmare before he could see anything else. Loki panted and shook nervously. He gripped the sheets in fright. He was crying, but why? He wasn't afraid of that, was he? Suddenly, he felt nauseous and sick. He felt awful, and the recollection of the nightmare did not help him in the slightest.

"_It's a curse." _Loki figured. _"It's a curse!" _

He had to break it, he had to.

Squawk.

Loki turned his head and saw Muninn perched on the headboard.

"Y-you?" Loki's lips quivered.

He immediately hit it with a pillow and the raven fell on the bed. Loki frantically and without thought, smothered it with the pillow. DEATH… he wanted it dead. He couldn't think, he just had to act! It haunted him! It wasn't real! IT WASN'T REAL! SMOTHER IT! KILL IT! _End it. _End its misery.

The raven fought but it was futile.

"Loki, are you awake?" Thor entered with a frantic look at his face. "What are you doing?"

Muninn was near death.

It was a curse.

That was all Loki could see.

"Loki, let him go!" Thor ran forward.

"_Why?" _Loki thought. _"Why can he not see it?" _

It was a lie.

Why couldn't Loki find his voice?

What was wrong with him?

"_I'm not mad." _Loki cried as his hands shook. _"I'm not." _

Loki felt strong hands pry his hands away from the pillow and held it to his chest. Loki just cried and followed that soothing voice that came from Thor. He obeyed with argument or reason. The raven flew away from him and disappeared out of the hall. Loki just felt his head swim in confusion as warm hands brushed his tears away.

A soft hum and an embrace followed.

But Loki could barely hear it under all the noise in his head.

"_My boy!" _It sang. _"My boy has returned!" _

"Make it stop." Loki pleaded. "Please."

"_My boy!" _

"Please, I don't want this anymore."

"I am right here, Loki." Thor shushed him, holding him tightly from behind. "I am right here."

Thor was lost.

He had no idea what to do.

The ravens flew back to their king, and spoke of their tale.

Odin made a hard decision.

* * *

**oOo **

**TBC…**

**Let's face it.  
I'm secretly insane when I write my stories. **

**Please review and tell me what you think. **

**REVIEWS let you comfort Loki.**

**FAVES and FOLLOWS let you strangle that doll.**


	6. Chapter 6 - A Curse

**Long chapter. Hope you guys don't mind! :3**

**oOo**

**Chapter 6 – A Curse **

Nobody would talk to him properly without making him remember all that he had done. It hadn't even been his fault and yet here he was, taking the brunt of all the attacks against him. Nobody, not one person had a topic other than _Are you well?_ Or perhaps,_ how are you? _As if Loki did not understand that._ Do you still have nightmares? _What do they think? _Are you mad? _No!

They all had one motive!

They all had to ask the same question, they were all simply phrased differently.

Nobody would talk to him normally.

Not even Thor.

Not even his Mother.

Not even Eir.

Not even Sif, Fandral, Hogun or Volstagg.

Not even _Odin _for crying out loud!

Loki found it completely unnecessary and. He sat on the balcony of the training grounds, glancing at the warriors fight with glee. Occasionally a few Einherjar's looked up at him, but Loki hadn't bothered to look back. He held a rusty looking book, roughly skimming through its contents. He figured the solution would be inside it, but there was nothing but old sayings.

_Tap._

_Tap. _

He heard footsteps behind him, but for some reason, Loki couldn't bring himself to care. He knew where those footsteps came from and it was no surprise he would follow. Thor leant on the railing right next to Loki and just waited.

Irritably, Loki closed his book and turned to Thor.

"If you insist on pestering me with your constant watching, would it not be better to do it some place where _I _cannot see you?"

"It's not in the matter of being seen or not." Thor hummed.

"What do you want?" Loki sneered.

"Nothing."

"You would not be here if you did not want something."

"Is your company not an answer?"

"No."

"Loki, I worry for you." Thor whispered, staring at the warriors. "I wish to spend time with you, but you keep shunning me away as if you do not need me. I'd rather not think about our chaotic past. I want peace."

"And you have it." Loki sarcastically said.

"No, we don't."

"Thor, please leave me alone."

"You know I cannot do that."

"Why?" Loki challenged. "Is it because you fear I might kill someone?"

"No."

"That was an accident."

"Nearly killing Muninn was an accident?"

"By the nine, Thor!"

"Then tell me what that was!"

"I won't kill anyone!"

"It is not that!" Thor growled.

"Speak quickly!" Loki shifted his position. "I tire of this. You have my undying attention, Brother."

"You are mad—"

"Beyond mad." Loki glared. "I'm utterly insane to everyone!"

"That is not what I meant!" Thor palmed his face. "Would you care to let me finish?"

Of course Loki had to find another twisted meaning to his words. That was how Loki was built. He was built for _chaos._ His cunning silver-tongue was his own worst enemy, and Thor had to find a way around it in every sentence and wording of his. He had to be extremely careful in speaking with Loki. Otherwise, Thor might do something he might undyingly regret.

This was the reason why Loki hated the world.

"It's alright, Thor." Loki frowned. "I know what you meant to say."

"Do you?" Thor gave him a look.

"Yes, I do."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Thor." Loki whined.

"Even _you _doubt yourself, Loki. How can I be so sure that everything is well with you? You are good at hiding what you do not want us to see, but it breaks you. As much as I hate to say it, it does. I fear for you. We all fear for you, but my fear does not compare to yours. You may not care for yourself but—"

"It won't happen again." Loki declared.

"Won't it?"

"That was not me and you know this, Brother."

"I cannot see a way around it."

"Why would I harm myself? Why would I hurt Mother? Why would I hurt _you? _I have no reason for causing ill to myself. Ask yourself that Thor!"

"I am looking out for you."

"Keeping me from hurting myself for the fourth time?" Loki hopped off the railing. "Three times the charm as Mortals say."

"You keep twisting my words." Thor kept his eyes at the training grounds.

"Is that not what I always do?"

"You do so now more than ever." Thor observed. "It is mostly when you are defensive."

"Am not," Loki scowled.

"Again, defensive," Thor laughed.

"Damn idiot."

After a while, Loki heard Thor's laughter subside and only then had he noticed the tension building up from the silence. Loki found it terrifying. Some part of him wanted Thor to talk, while the other part wanted Thor to stay silent and leave him alone.

He was having neither.

"I am afraid for your safety while you are angry at me for being so."

"Furious, but not at you," Loki dejectedly said.

"What then?"

"What infuriates me the most is my inability to stand up for myself in dire situations. It's my own fault for being too over confident in my abilities that I shied away from the truth of what I really am, a coward."

"That is not true."

"I've done so before." He declared. "Now more than ever since my actions had been restricted. People have not seen me as more than another trapped or kept relic."

"This is not about that." Thor figured. "This is about the rumors you hear."

"Exactly." Loki crossed his arms.

"Pray tell what have you heard?"

"A good number."

"Like what?"

"I'd rather not repeat them." Loki scowled further. "The rumors are within close quarters. It could not have been from someone outside the palace. It is within your circle of friends or warriors."

"Or healers."

"What?" He blinked. "You think Eir told everyone?"

"No." Thor grimaced. "Perhaps it was her helper, Geitiri."

"Who?"

"The one you had an argument with the first time we went to Eir in years." He hummed. "Geitiri is her name, I believe."

"You openly accuse her?"

"No, I was just giving light on the subject."

"Well, I know not."

"She hates you."

"Most of the healers find me greatly annoying." Loki dismissed him. "Why is she any different? I've lost count how many people want my head. Their faces practically look the same by now."

"She has a history with the Jotnar."

"Well that explains the mystery." Loki rolled his eyes. "She even looked like a whore."

"Loki," Thor scolded.

"I speak truth! If I remember correctly, she does have that vibe to her being. I am good at reading people. And why do you sound so surprised that I brand people by what they are? We've done this numerous times when we were far younger, you most of all."

"That is because it is wrong."

"Calling her a whore?" He laughed. "It is so easy to distinguish a person from someone who is not. Perhaps we speak of the same person, perhaps not."

Thor grimaced at Loki further.

"Oh wait!" Loki crudely said. "That _term _is specifically reserved for yours truly! How proud must the elegant eldest son of Odin _be _to have such a troublesome little brother!?"

"Why are you reopening old wounds, Loki?"

"Because they are _my _wounds!" Loki nearly shouted.

"Then stop speaking as if they mean nothing!" Thor growled.

"It's my life." Loki started walking away.

"Can you hear yourself speak?" Thor followed.

When they were out of sight from the other warriors, Thor pulled Loki and pinned him to the pillar, shielding him from everyone. Loki, shocked and confused, stared at Thor's angry blue eyes. Loki remained silent and allowed Thor to keep him there. He locked Loki's movement by placing his hands on the pillar on either side of Loki's shoulders.

"I feel pain for you." Thor looked down at him.

Loki looked away.

"You have been through enough, and only a faint part of it, I can understand." Thor whispered. "But whatever explanation you keep giving us is not enough."

"What more do you want?" Loki quivered, looking up at him.

"I want the truth."

"You've been given the truth. I told you of my nightmares, you tried to assess what they were but all you had to give me was nothing but words of reassurance! That isn't enough to help me!"

"It's absurd, Loki."

Thor dropped his hands, but Loki remained where he was.

"How is that any different from what we had experienced?" Loki wondered.

"We've encountered nothing like this before."

"You keep thinking as if Asgard is the only realm that exists. We've been through events, worlds, or experiences that none can explain and can even fathom! Why does this sound so foreign to you?"

"I am trying."

"Try harder."

"Loki—"

"One minute I am well to you and the next I am not. I try to be discreet about this, Thor, but—"

"I do not know what to do with you, Loki."

"Trust me."

Thor remained silent, and it gave Loki enough of an answer to realize.

"I should go," Loki slowly pushed Thor away. "I need to see Eir for my daily sessions thanks to Odin."

Thor watched as Loki turned his back. Thor eyed as Loki walked past a couple of Einherjar's who merely dismissed his presence as if he wasn't a Prince. This broke Thor's heart to no end, especially when those warriors were his comrades in battle. They greeted him, but they completely ignored Loki's existence, as if Loki hadn't done battle with them at all.

Thor needed time to think.

* * *

**oOo **

Eir smiled when Loki sat on the table in the healing room. Some healers smiled at him while others merely dismissed his presence as if he was an old patient of theirs, which he was, of course. Eir ushered the ladies away to give Loki some privacy and gestured Loki to lie down.

Loki did as told.

Eir began to control the bronze-like threads woven above him, showing all of Loki's anatomy and how a little different it was from an Aesir. He was Jotun of course, so some parts of his insides were, not at all that pleasant to know, especially since all his life he knew he was Aesir. It felt like a new low of how degraded he already felt. It never helped, looking at his insides.

"How are you feeling?" Eir asked.

"Wonderful," He said as he sat up. "And extravagant as always."

"Any pain?"

"A lot."

"Truly?"

"Oh yes." Loki nodded. "Such deep aching wounds, like scratches in the caverns of my heart."

Eir grimaced at the joke. "Nightmares?"

"Each night, oh so many."

"Hallucinations?"

"Only the image of how perfect my life would be if everyone would just understand."

"I wish you would take these sessions seriously." Eir sighed. "Not only do we rarely do this, but I have other patients to attend to, not just you."

"How many patients do you have that cannot be healed within the hour?"

"There are others, Loki." She pressed. "You are royalty, and royals come first."

"That is hardly fair for anyone."

"Indeed."

"Forgive me, Eir." Loki sighed. "It is hard not to be sarcastic in this situation."

"Be sarcastic elsewhere, child." She scolded. "The All-Father made it clear he wants to help you."

"By branding me insane and beyond redemption."

"He cares for you, as does your Mother. What you've done with that elixir is no laughing matter, Loki. Everyone was terrified and thinks you suicidal."

"Is that what I am called now?"

"The All-Father expressed great concern to let me see you each day to ensure that it does not get worse. You should thank me for the patience I have for a troublesome boy like you."

"You could have refused him."

"You tried to kill yourself and the All-Father's raven." Eir argued. "That causes concern."

"I am well." He whined.

"Are you really?"

"Deeply hurt by everyone's lack of confidence, but otherwise well." Loki sighed. "May I leave now?"

"We're not finished."

"You found nothing out of the ordinary, Eir. The deal was for me to visit you each day until you truly find nothing wrong. You've found my temper to be unstable. That is true, as is my boredom but all I say is that as far as we've gone, neither you nor any other healer had found problems. The least you can do is spare us both the misery and let me leave."

"Fine," She stated. "You've convinced me. Away with you, Miscreant!"

"But you love me." Loki grinned.

"I wouldn't test that luck if I were you."

With that, Loki left.

* * *

**oOo **

No matter what Loki did, the doll remained at his side without question.

Loki had found it somewhat touching that no matter what the doll did, it simply remained there even though it had done so many things to hurt him. Thor had told Loki that he had tried to throw the doll away, but it had kept coming back as if from a spell, so Thor had let it slip. He had in his mind that Loki may have charmed it somehow to stay by his side.

Loki disagreed with that.

He sat on the floor of one of the narrow book shelves and proceeded to look for a book that would help him banish the doll away.

When Loki had gone to find another book, he found the doll sitting right at the side, copying him. The doll had a small pocket book placed neatly on its lap, nearly terrifying Loki if it wasn't so strange and creepy.

"Damn child." Loki cursed. "I should really give you a name."

Loki sat down and crossed his legs in front of the doll, leaning forward.

"What should I call you?"

"Talking to the doll is a sign of insanity." A voice said, making Loki jump. "Apologies for startling you."

Loki looked up.

"It's nice to see you too, Sif."

"Likewise."

"Why are you here?"

"Perhaps I worry for you." Sif stared at him.

"I find that hard to believe." Loki mocked. "I see no reason for you to worry about me. After all, we aren't friends, Milady. You and I both know that the sole reason you seek me is for Thor's own sanity, not yours. You worry not for myself, but for Thor. Tell me, he didn't spar with the rest of you, did he?"

"No." Sif grimaced. "He is too busy watching over you."

"Where is he now?"

"Busy thinking and mauling things over."

"I said where, not what."

Sif glared at him.

"Even so, that news is not new to me." Loki pointed out. "He's always thinking nowadays and it is good for him. He had been too busy tailing my every movement that he hadn't the time to think for himself. Now is a good time as any."

"How observant," Sif sneered.

"Unlike some people, I like to be productive." Loki sighed.

"Why do you spend your time here so much that you'd waste half the day?" Sif questioned.

"For the same reason you waste it at the training grounds for sparring." Loki retorted. "It's not exactly hard to understand the reason why. It's all pretty obvious."

"Wouldn't you rather be social?"

"Social?" Loki laughed. "I'm sure you know how social I already am."

"I heard." Sif sighed. "Everyone knows what you nearly did to the All-Father's raven. Everyone knows what you tried to do to yourself. There are other rumors, that which is probably true. Hence the reason why I am here."

"To remind me of what I've done?"

"To help you be social."

"Why?"

"So the word suicidal would not be directly associated with you."

"That is not the only reason, Sif."

"So it may ease Thor's thoughts and get him to stop tailing you so much."

"Great, yet not so formidable a plan." Loki shrugged. "It is nice to have him worry though."

"Perhaps you should see Sigyn?"

"Sigyn and I haven't spoken in years. Besides, she is fine without my friendship and counsel. She's in Vanaheim, I think. I know not, I've lost contact with her."

"You were good friends."

"Friendships don't last long." He calmly closed his book and looked at the doll for help. It looked as if there was no help guaranteed today. "I do not see how ours could have lasted this long."

"We are still friends."

"Thank Thor for that. In other circumstances, I doubt we consider each other that way."

"I believe you." She declared.

Loki stared at her for a while, before he realized what she had meant. Loki stared at the doll before looking back at her. She had that strange expression on her face that made Loki wonder what it meant. Loki took the doll and placed the pocket book aside and threw the doll at Sif.

Sif caught it and cringed.

"Why do you keep this thing?"

"It's part of my creepy collection." Loki smirked.

She eyed Loki in the corner of her eye as he stood up and dusted himself.

"Do you really believe me?" Loki mocked, taking the doll back. "Or is that your way of appeasing me? If you think I would forget every ill will you and your friends had done to me, then you are sorely mistaken, Lady Sif."

"That doll is—"

"Just a doll."

"Stop twisting my words, Loki."

"You cannot believe me with one simple incident here at the library, Sif. There is doubt in your eyes and the only reason you believe me is for those doubts to be answered."

"Lies, Trickster!"

"Try less to gain back my friendship and lie, Sif." Loki picked up the book he found useful and proceeded to walk into the large hallway carrying it and the doll. "It would help for us to ignore each other."

"How is it that you can extend your friendship to those Mortals," Sif followed. "Yet you cannot do it for us?"

"There is a difference between us and mortals." Loki turned. "Fleeting creatures they are, yet we are not any different in that aspect. We just live longer."

"Your point?" She sneered.

"They can let go of the past and move on with their lives," Loki sighed, turning away from her. "Unlike some of us, we continue to live by it."

"Where are you going?"

"To find Thor."

With that, Loki walked away and ignored the harsh grunt that came from Sif along with a curse word shouted directly at him. Loki shook his head as he adjusted the doll in his arms and placed it right on top of the book. Loki stopped for a moment when he was out of sight of anyone around. He stared at the doll with confusion as it seemed to smile more.

"I think I have a name for you." Loki grimaced. "I should call you Thorif."

The doll merely stared at him.

Its expression looked as if it said _"Are you mad?"_

"Shut up." Loki continued to walk. "You're a combination of Thor _and _Sif, both persistent and annoying, trying to help yet making it worse. Thorif, it's the perfect name. And honestly, mix and match both your facial features and _that_ is a nightmare waiting to happen."

Loki laughed.

The doll did not find it amusing at all.

* * *

**oOo **

Thor had given it much thought.

He was being too harsh on Loki for his own good. He had not realized that he was pressuring Loki into seeking his help that Loki would only do the opposite. It was a reaction! It wasn't that Loki didn't want to be helped. It was the fact of how Thor approached the matter. Loki was prideful and he hated not having the decision made by him.

Finally, Thor understood!

_Meow._

Startled, Thor spun and looked down.

There, sitting on the floor staring at him was a black cat with green eyes. It _meowed _again. Thor leaned down to touch it, but it immediately hissed at him and turned its back. Its tail swished back and forth, and it turned its head to _meow _again.

"How did you get here?" Thor took a step forward and it hissed.

The cat casually walked away as soon as Thor tried to reach out for it again. It was as if the cat did not want to be touched nor did it want its personal space crowded on. Thor stared at those green eyes and eyed it. It was impossible for a cat this small to reach the palace walls.

"_Nice try, brother." _Thor thought as he followed.

The black cat continued to meow as it was being pursued by Thor.

"_Where are you going?"_

The cat was headed directly to Loki's room.

_Meow. _

It ran.

Thor started running as well.

_Meow! _

As soon as they reached the door of Loki's room, Thor began to pant as the cat scratched the door. It mewled continuously, making Thor feel a bit annoyed.

"What has gotten into you, Loki?"

He picked up the scruffy cat by the neck and brought it to his face, glaring at those green eyes. Suddenly, the cat scratched Thor's hand, making him drop the cat.

"Ow!" Thor called. "Loki!"

"What is it, Brother?" Loki called from behind him.

Thor spun.

"How?"

Loki was holding the doll, standing by the hallway from the direction he came from.

Thor blinked and turned back to the cat, which now disappeared with a bright green flash. From behind him, Thor heard Loki snickering. He turned back to his brother who now wore an innocent smile, using the doll to _shield _himself from Thor. Thor continued to grimace as Loki tried his hardest not to laugh.

"How what?"

"That was not funny."

"It was."

"No, it was not, Loki."

"I find it terribly amusing."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Sneaking suits you ill, Brother." Loki smiled lifted the doll. "Now, I want you to meet someone."

"I've no time for games, Loki." Thor grimaced.

"I found a name for it."

Thor blinked.

_What now?_

"I call it Thorif." Loki smirked.

"By the nine!" Thor palmed his face. "You made me worry and here you are making jests!"

"Is that not how you want me to act?" Loki pouted. "I could go back to being depressed and unresponsive if you like? But that would be dull and boring, seeing as I won't be here to annoy you. Besides, forget what I had done and just enjoy this little moment."

"Why did you lead me here?"

"Why not?" He replied. "Sif came to me earlier at the library."

"And?"

"She said that I should stop making you worry. I thought about it and figured you might be the one in need of cheering up and not me."

"Cheering up?"

"We both need it." Loki said sadly. "I'm tired, Thor."

"Then rest."

"That's not what I meant."

"What _do _you mean?"

"I want a change of scenery, Brother." He smiled. "Something less miserable and something more fun and exciting. I've been trapped in endless misery and confusion. I want something different today. Would you at least cheer up and enjoy this moment with me instead of thinking too much?"

Thor thought about it.

Maybe they shouldn't speak about the horrors Loki had done to himself.

Loki was suicidal.

Now, Loki was being _social _for once.

Maybe he should just…

Let loose.

Let it happen.

And just…

Let go.

"Thorif?" He grimaced.

"Lovely, isn't it?" Loki chuckled. "I think the child finds it utterly repulsive."

"_I _find it repulsive." Thor frowned. "Give it another name."

"Pray tell what do you have in mind?"

"None."

"Volsor?" Loki asked as he walked into his room.

"Stop."

"Hogor?"

"Norns no!" Thor snorted as he followed Loki inside.

"Back to Thorif then."

"Leave it alone."

"Odor?" Loki laughed harder, clutching his stomach. "I like that!"

"No! Anything but that!" Thor shook his head as he plopped down Loki's bed. "We are not doing this and we are certainly not going to use combinations of names from the people we know. Especially not my name!"

"Perhaps Fanor has a nice ring to it." Loki laughed.

"Shut up, Loki."

"I jest—"

The doll was still not amused.

* * *

**oOo **

**Days later…**

Loki barged into the healing room, startling the healers. Loki flushed red at the attention and immediately regretted what he had done. Eir believed him to still be a shy boy. He stood there, looking rather regal for some reason. Eir walked forward and smiled at him.

"Back so soon?" She gestured to the other giggling healers. "So early too. We're still—"

"Am I free to go then?"

"What?" She blinked. "You just got here."

"We've been doing this for weeks now." He rolled his eyes. "I would have thought the answers were very clear and much the same."

"There could be a difference today."

"I hope not." He snorted.

"Why so anxious, Loki?" She mocked in jest.

"I have things to do, important things that are—well—mine to make."

"Sit." She hummed.

Loki followed but eyed the other healers who walked away to the other chamber to give them some privacy. Only about three healers remained in the corner, talking about their lovely day. One healer in particular, which Loki guessed to be Geitiri, wouldn't stop glaring at him.

"Stay here, Loki."

"Eir, where are you going?"

"As I said, you're too early." She declared. "I have other patients that need my attention more than you do."

"But I thought royalty came first."

"In their own scheduled time, of course. These patients came from the training ground. It seemed that they may have made merry too much and is need of limb fixing."

"You could just amputate something like the mortals do." Loki suggested. "That is more fun."

"We wouldn't want _you_ to be the only one amused."

"I'll wait."

"Good. I won't be long." Eir gestured to the other healers to follow. "Hurry ladies."

Loki watched as they each scurried after Eir as if she was their mother. It was funny. However, it no longer felt funny when Loki felt a piercing glare from the corner. He saw that the woman stayed and took advantage of Eir's lack of discipline.

"You are Geitiri, are you not?" Loki voiced.

The woman nearly broke the vial she was holding when she flinched at the sound of her name. Loki understood her actions perfectly when she didn't bother to turn and address him. Loki continued to stare at her until he grew bored of it and spoke his mind out.

* * *

**oOo **

_Knock. Knock. _

"What is it now?" Eir questioned.

"Milady," Amundi spoke out. "Prince Thor wishes to speak with you."

"Oh dear, why now?"

"He says it is urgent that he does."

"Loki could very well say that as well."

"Prince Thor expressed that it is of great concern, Milady Eir."

"Alright, you and the other healers could handle this."

Eir smiled as she walked out the door of the healing chambers and out towards the hallway. Thor stood there, looking a bit confused and anxious. Eir walked forward and took one good look at Thor.

"You seem as anxious as your brother."

"Have you seen him?" Thor asked.

"He is in the other part of the healing rooms." Eir shook his head. "Eager is that boy to finish his session. I asked him to wait for a little while longer until he calms down."

"Oh, good. Thank you."

"Do you happen to have a reason to why he is that way?"

"I know not." Thor shrugged. "All he told me was that he had found a way around it and should not be disturbed. Then he merely fled, and this was the last place I had to look. I am glad he is here though."

"We all worry for him."

"Aye."

"So what ails you?"

"I need to know if Loki had told you anything during these sessions." Thor wondered. "I know it may be a rather personal question and I should not pry, but I feel the need to know what goes on with Loki so that I may help."

"Does your Mother know what you pursue?"

"She advised against it."

"Had something happened?"

"Not at all. Probably the complete opposite."

"Did Loki seem fine to you?"

"More than fine." Thor brought himself to smile. "It felt like we were young again."

"You are young boys already, with difficult tasks." Eir said. "Well, I think this is a good sign. Perhaps these sessions are working well and Loki might be affected by it that he unconsciously stops thinking about suicidal tendencies and his traumatic past. That is a good sign indeed."

"I need you to tell me more about these sessions."

"I'm a bit busy, Thor."

"You have good healers here, Eir. At least let me know how my brother is doing."

She sighed in defeated. "Fine."

* * *

**oOo **

"You spread the rumors, had you not?"

Geitiri tensed.

_Caught you. _

Geitiri turned, her facial features glowering and her body tensed in anger. Loki merely smirked at her as if he had already caught his prey. Geitiri stood still, while Loki sat there kicking his legs, waiting patiently for her to speak, but she remained still and silent. Loki found it hard to see right through her.

"So easy to share it," Loki voiced. "So fun to add more reason for them to hate me."

"I don't understand why the other healers find you amusing." She retorted.

"Oh, she speaks."

"And the bastard Frost Giant and son of dead Laufey King, also the whore of the palace speaks to a servant."

"Brave and foolish woman you are."

"You're just a boy."

"And hence why I figured not to respect you," Loki glared. "Age matters little in terms of respect."

"I quite agree." Geitiri clenched her fists. "A prince of Asgard and the desolated Ice World of the Frost Giants, I find your status to be lower than royalty."

"Darling, my predicament is far from yours. I don't do so willingly like you share yourself with every man available. Isn't that more shameful and interesting? Because I for one, keep my legs closed."

"More shameful than the Prince brought to his knees?"

"Why do you resent me so?" Loki wondered. "I've done nothing wrong to you."

"You tried to kill the golden Prince of Asgard."

"Rumors, yet all true and reasons you've not heard of."

"Must I?" She stashed a few elixirs in the drawer. "They could not care less what a servant does nor how her life story came to be. My life is not basked in light as yours is."

"Such disdain."

"I would not resent you had you not harmed the Prince nor had you been Aesir instead of a Jotun whore!"

"Racism."

"I care not for race."

"Liar," He sneered. "You and so many other women uphold Thor too much into the light that you are directly blinded by what you call as false love. You care to the point that it becomes obsessive and pointless. And you cannot even fathom why. Thor is Thor. He is everything in a man that women find worthy loving. It is impractical and stupid if you ask me. And your reasons alone to argue are enough for me to strip you of your position."

"Who would be fooling himself if you did?" Geitiri slammed the drawer shut.

"I would have done Asgard a favor if I did." Loki said dryly.

"They do not trust you."

"Another impractical argument. Is your mouth that unstable that you have no other use for it than to squabble?"

"They think you bed our Prince Thor to get on his good side." She declared.

"What?"

"The rumors, you wish to know more, you have it." Geitiri rudely said. "You corrupt him. Now, all of Asgard speak slander on your name and often drag the eldest callously into the conversation all thanks to you."

"How dare you?" Loki got off the table.

"You are not my Prince." Geitiri backed away in fright.

"If my name is sullied, so be it." He growled. "But if Thor's name is brought up with lies, let your head be at stake. You are no more than a useless servant with no family, no relatives and is reduced to a life void of hope, love and justice. Tell me, if you were to claim justice from the All-Father would he listen to you? Would Thor?"

"Chitauri whore!" Geitiri threw a vial at him.

Loki sidestepped and cursed.

"Disheveled bitch."

"The palace quim!" _So that was what they called him. _"You are always found headed to Prince Thor's chambers more so than naught. And he is seen found in yours as well. They speak of you enticing him to bed you—"

Geitiri wasn't able to finish her sentence when Loki had pounced and stared to choke her. His hands simply encircled her neck without much thought and squeezed. She began to claw for a way out but Loki's hands stayed in place. She writhed on the floor and pleaded to the Norns for mercy.

"Geitiri?" The door opened. "Mfeldun is looking for—"

Hfilda dropped the tray she was holding when she saw Loki straddling Geitiri and killing her.

"Eir! EIR!" She called.

Running back out before it was too late.

* * *

**oOo **

"I am glad to know he is surprisingly doing better." Thor nodded patiently. "It had been so long since I last saw Loki be his mischievous self, it is rather enticing and enriching to know he is going back to the way he was. I am glad to hear of his improvement here too."

"You've done well, Thor." Eir smiled. "What does your Mother say in this?"

"Mother is still worried."

"Tell her that there is nothing to wor—"

"EIR!" Hfilda ran. "EIR! COME QUICK!"

"What is it?"

"Prince Loki is killing Geitiri!" She screamed. "Please stop him! The Other healers cannot do anything!"

"What?" Thor blinked and pushed forward.

"Norns no." Eir ran after him.

When they opened the door, Geitiri was near lifeless at this point. Her face was bright purple as Loki's fingernails dug down on her neck. Thor immediately grabbed Loki and tried to pry his hands off her. He was able to do so like before, but Loki just swiped at her again. Loki cried out in anger as he told Thor to let him go, but Thor simply refused.

Thor, with all his strength, pulled Loki by the waist and dragged him away from her.

"Stop this!" He held tightly.

Loki stopped moving, his breathing labored as the healers including Eir tended to Geitiri. Thor's grip loosened and it gave Loki a chance to turn around and slap Thor in the face in anger. Thor was a bit shocked as well as some witnesses, but Loki didn't bother to care.

"Why—?" Thor growled.

"She called me your whore!" He announced. Loki shakingly retracted his hand and shook badly. His whole body trembled as he turned back to allow his actions to sink in. He had tried to kill her without a second thought. "I'm not."

Geitiri coughed and the healers were able to help her.

Eir turned to Thor and Loki.

Loki kept shaking.

"Thor, please take him out of here." Eir breathed. "I will speak to all my healers."

"Keep this quiet." Thor said as he eyed Loki.

"The All-Father will find out." She panted. "Thor, I cannot—"

"Leave my Father to me." He answered.

Loki had his eyes on the ground.

He was silent.

Unresponsive.

_She called me your whore! _

And just when Thor thought it was going fairly well.

Then this had to happen.

_Trauma. _

Loki was reliving it again.

Thor immediately pulled Loki out of the way while Eir began to scold all the other healers about the incident. Thor brought or rather _dragged _Loki to his room and pushed him inside. Thor locked the door and stared at Loki standing in the middle of the room, crying. Thor wanted to pity him and comfort him, but Thor deemed against it. Loki shook silently as Thor came forward, trying to think of a way to approach this in the gentlest way that he could.

He figured that the gentlest way didn't exist.

"I would have to tell Mother and Father about this." He spoke.

Loki stayed silent.

"You shouldn't have harmed her—"

"You think I don't know that?" Loki looked up, his eyes red from crying. "You think I wanted that to happen?!"

"You out of all people know ways different from direct approach." Thor said, but not to encourage Loki's actions. "You lost your temper when she—when she called you that but you should have—"

"Please, just leave it alone." He cried.

There was no way to describe how they were both feeling at the moment. Thor allowed Loki his comfort, but Loki tensed from it, unable to show vulnerability yet cannot help but do so. It was a force that just happened to be both in their way. Thor feared the worst for Loki while Loki broke apart.

They would all hear about this.

* * *

**oOo **

"**So easy to rile up, so easy to break." **The voice mocked.

Loki did not stay for dinner.

Instead, he locked himself in his room and allowed Thor to tell their parents about the incident in the healing room. Loki knew that Odin would find more ways to keep him locked up, that was for sure. There were so many ideas and punishments that Loki could think of that he nearly went into his _worst_ panic attack that had long since felt dormant to him.

He was halfway through the spell to end the curse.

But soon…

Sleep came.

Loki found himself in the same nexus of closed spaces.

There was laughter.

It echoed through the hall.

When Loki followed the laughter, he came across the giant banquet hall. He peeked inside. There were Einherjar's merry making and cheering. They were throwing their ales and drinking wine. And in the middle of the room was a barely clothed lean figure dancing for attention. All the Einherjar were laughing at it and enjoying its almost _sinful _dance.

Loki covered his mouth in shock.

It was a Jotun.

But not any Jotun, it was _him._

Jotun Loki laughed as it craned its neck in mockery. It boisterously and shamelessly showcased itself to the crowd. It flaunted its body like a slut and dragged its hands up from his legs to his waist in a lecherous manner.

"_This is not real." _He thought.

Loki watched as the men in the room played with the Jotun runt.

"**An image fit for a Prince."**

They loved its nearly naked form along with the golden loin cloth. They touched and prodded the Jotun runt and poked its sides. They even lifted the cloth to show more skin. Loki horrifyingly watched as the Jotun continued to allow himself to be teased and pulled at. One man pulled the runt onto his lap and ground his hips while another went behind him to tease the runts black hair lined with golden accessories.

Loki flushed furiously at the display.

"**Satisfied?" **The voice laughed.

What was this?

Loki felt his body move with an urge to put an end to this _humiliation _because _he _did not deserve it! He wasn't anyone's whore! Loki took the nearest weapon he could find and walked forward.

They noticed him.

But Loki could still hear the laughter echoing inside his head.

It was embarrassing and he could still see it happening. At the back of his head the voice whispered for him to kill it, and for some reason, Loki couldn't bring himself to disagree with it. He _hated _his Jotun form and now this nightmare thinks to mock him.

When Loki swung the blade…

He blacked out.

* * *

**oOo **

_Pain! PAIN PAIN!_

He blinked his eyes open.

_Hurts…hurthurthurt!_

What happened?

_MakeitstopHurting!_

He felt sick to his stomach.

_Hurts!_

Was that guilt?

_Aching! Ache!_

The floor…

_Pain!Hurts!PAIN!_

Loki was on the floor… and there was blood.

_NoNonononono!NONONO! NO!_

It was dark, dried up and crusted.

_Make it STOP!_

Loki pushed himself up in shock and found blood on his hands and shirt. He didn't feel sick, nor hurt, so he assumed it wasn't his, but whose could it be. Loki dreaded the worst and began to tremble in shock. How did he came to this? He could still remember his nightmare from last night, but why—why was this one real?

Why were the others not real?

Why _this _in particular?

_Knock. Knock. _

"Loki?" Thor called, but Loki remained silent, unsure of what to do. So Thor knocked again. "Open the door. Now! I need to speak with you! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"J-just a minute."

Loki pushed himself to the bathroom and immediately took off his shirt and threw them into the corner while Thor constantly banged on the door for him to open it. Loki hastily washed his hands and put on a clean shirt. Before Thor could knock the door open, Loki opened it.

"Yes?" Loki innocently asked.

"Is all well?" Thor grimaced, suspiciously questioning.

"Yes." He said too quickly.

"Loki, Geitiri is dead."

Loki blinked. "What? Who?"

"Eir's helper along with two Einherjar's who had witnessed her slaughter."

"Slaughter?"

"It was not your actions yesterday, but—" Thor took a deep breath. "Heimdall said he could not see them and—"

"Are you accusing me?" He said too defensively.

"No."

"You are!"

Thor stayed silent and watchful. Thor pried the door open a little further to see the inside of Loki's room. Loki looked incredibly guilty and Thor could see it in his eyes.

"I am only here to inform you." Thor said. "Tell me it wasn't you."

"I don't understand. What slaughter?"

"They were stabbed to death."

"What was the motive?" Loki trembled.

"We could not find any, yet we suspect it was out of rage."

"And you came here just to tell me that?"

"That and more."

"You think I did?"

"Loki—"

"No, no… I didn't!" He said in near hysteria. "I haven't done anything. And so early in the morning too, you're here to make me feel sorry for what I had done to her. She—"

"Loki it's already noon!" Thor held his shoulders and shook once. "I had tried to wake you yet you were still asleep. I wanted to know if you were safe! Had it been this creature, this shadow you speak of, I wouldn't have known what to do!"

"I'm not mad!"

"Would you stop thinking I keep trying to accuse you?" Thor pleaded.

Loki trembled in his hold.

He pushed.

"Leave."

Thor stared at him.

"Leave, please." Loki's lips quivered. "I need time to think."

"Loki, stop this."

"Please, just leave me alone."

Thor was pushed and locked out of the room. He couldn't help but hear those painful sobs coming from the other side. Loki was no longer the Loki he knew. That mischievous boy was gone again and now came the softer more vulnerable side of Loki that Thor hadn't wished to see or hear. It was just too painful.

In that silence, Loki had pushed himself.

He saw the doll sitting on the shelf and made a grab for it. He tossed it in the pile of work in the middle of the room and went to the drawers to change his clothes into his softer and lighter black and green armor. He had no care for Geitiri, but he still felt guilty. He just hoped that it truly wasn't him who did that.

He was going to do the spell whether or not it would work.

Before Loki started, he went to the shelf.

He took the _glowing crystals _that Thor gave him and pocketed them.

It was a reminder.

Then he wasted no time and did his spell.

"This will teach you to ruin my life," Loki gritted. "You've interfered for way too long."

Suddenly, something felt wrong.

The candles in the room were blown away, and a soft breeze followed.

Soon…

The room was encased in _light. _

But…

All Loki saw was darkness.

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Avengers here we come! :3  
Please review and tell me what you think! :D**


	7. Chapter 7 - Camaraderie

**oOo**

**Chapter 7 – Camaraderie **

"Thor, that's enough!" Odin shouted.

"You cannot stop me!" Thor shouted as he held the doll.

He had come back to apologize to Loki, but found his brother's room in disarray. Loki was nowhere to be found and the only evidence left was the doll. Thor had hurried to tell Odin and Frigga, as well as his friends, but none of them knew where to find him. Not even Heimdall knew what happened. Thor had no idea what to do.

The moment he suggested an idea to help find Loki, he and his father had started an argument.

"I can and I will!" Odin retorted.

"Three days!"

"Thor—"

"You told me to wait, Father! You gave Loki three days! I have been waiting and everyone on Asgard had been searching. So few are truly trying their hardest to find my brother, the rest of them merely want him dead! You do not tell me what I must do!"

"I care for your brother!"

"Then why have you been acting like you don't?" Thor glared.

Odin and Frigga stood there.

_Silenced_.

"It took me so long to gain Loki back!" Thor growled, breathing harsh.

"Thor—" Frigga whispered.

"I will not be ripped away from him again! You know of the horrors Loki faced, you've seen the outcome of how he was unmade! Slowly but surely he is returning to the one I know as my brother, but now you take that from me as well!"

"You do not speak to me as if you know my intentions." Odin shouted. "I am your Father!"

"You are not!"

"You dare—!"

"Not as long as you keep making terrible decisions for us!"

"Thor!" Frigga gasped.

"Where would you find him then?" Odin breathed. "You think your mortal friends could help him in this situation? Not even your own friends know where he is."

"The mortals aren't biased on the idea that my brother is mad." Thor sighed. "I will look for him whether you want me to or not."

"You dare disobey me, boy!" Odin slammed Gungnir on the ground. "This evidence you say is not enough proof—"

"I will not wait here and know that Loki is suffering!" Thor painfully said. "I will not do so again. I won't repeat what I did the last two years when I thought he was dead. The moment I stop looking for him, the worse he gets. I will not disappoint him as you did."

Thor looked at his parents one last time.

He loved them, and he cared very deeply for them, but it was hard not to hate them. They knew what Loki suffered. They knew it more than anyone else. So why would they allow Loki to be put aside, all for a Kingdom? How much does Asgard weigh more than family?

With that, Thor walked away without another word.

"Odin?" Frigga whispered.

"At this rate," He sighed. "Both of them will hate me."

"You know why."

"Do you hate me, Frigga?"

"You irritate me, but never hate." She answered. "They've put aside their differences for each others love. Listen to them for once. Asgard could always wait."

"I need to speak to someone." Odin whispered. "This person might know something."

"Those symbols on the trunk?"

"Possibly."

"Have your men keep searching Asgard." Frigga raised her dress. "I will go to Alfheim to speak with Frey and Freya to see if Loki had gone to them. If they are not in those realms, we—we may need to ask elsewhere as well. You may speak to whomever it is you have to."

"Bring the warriors three and Sif with you."

"Of course."

"Safe journey, my Queen."

"My journey is safer than where you're going." Frigga retorted.

* * *

**oOo **

"I'm enjoying the fact that you guys have summoned me to this glorious meeting." Tony said mockingly. "Tell you what, let's all have a drink about this and forget the world exists for once instead of just meeting up to talk about war."

"It's not about war." Steve blinked.

"Well, I missed you too."

"It's not like you don't see us," Clint scoffed. "We still keep in contact."

"Yeah right, if Coulson's your way of contacting me, I'm thrilled. Really I am. You can see the joy on my old handsome face. It's not every day that we get to sit and watch a movie without worrying about the end of the world. That was months ago."

"We have missions," Natasha smirked. "Isn't that an excuse?"

"If pigs fly—" Tony grinned. "So how's Coulson?"

Tony was still the same Tony everyone knew.

He was a bit tougher and had his priorities straight, but ever since that whole panic attack came into light, Tony was never the same again in that aspect of his personality. Tony was more fragile than they thought, even if he was good at keeping up with the façade. Bruce continued to stay with Tony, leaving from time to time to do some freelance work. Clint, Natasha and Steve had been good buddies for a while now. And everyone was starting to understand one another.

"He's still working with the new recruits like he told you he was." Clint yawned.

"Figured."

"Grant Ward and John Garrett are still a work in progress. Hill wants to know every detail about their tie in with Hydra."

"Coulson's still not happy about the outcome." Natasha added.

"The part where a friend was a bad guy," Tony pointed out. "And the one who he thought was a bad guy was literally just Thor's baby brother tortured into submission?"

"And the fact that Loki was raped irks him." Clint voiced.

"I don't want to talk about that." Tony grimaced.

"What about Hydra?" Bruce asked.

"Shield isn't the same anymore now that the whole council found out that Alexander Pierce was part of a bigger community." Steve declared. "He was put in penitentiary, remember? But Shield is thankfully still operational, just not as productive as it once was."

"So Coulson's the new director now?" Tony smiled.

"They've beefed up security." Natasha leaned back on the couch. "We're starting from scratch, so we have to renew everything. That includes the director. Besides, Coulson has intuition."

"That takes a lot of work."

"It's for a good cause." Clint said.

"Is it true that Fury is in Pierce's position now?" Bruce wondered.

"That's true," Steve nodded. "Hill is taking over some new division, the ones that _aren't _tainted by Hydra yet and helping Coulson around the new base. So yes, we have a bit of an advantage."

"Is there any luck on your side, Steve?"

"None, Bruce," He sighed. "I think Hydra found out that we knew they had Bucky. And just like that, they're gone."

"Still no sign of Loki's scepter either?" Tony asked.

"None," Natasha answered. "But we're getting close enough for a reveal."

"What about that Computer guy we saw?" Tony grimaced. "He was the cause of the death of my dad and other important people, right?"

"Arnim Zola?" Clint scoffed. "That guy was wiped out back at that bunker last I heard."

"Shield is still trying to find sources of him existing." Natasha said. "It was a mistake to put him in projects that led to numerous tragic events and it's likely he's still out there. So we have to watch out for that."

"I still can't believe this is happening." Tony closed his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Steve wondered.

"This whole thing is going nicely."

"What is he babbling about?" Clint asked Bruce.

"It's a bad omen!" Tony yelled.

"He has this ridiculous notion that since we are changing our supposed future," Bruce sighed. "We're disrupting a balance in time that will eventually lead to events that will come back to haunt us."

"Not just to haunt, but to fuck us around!" Tony waved his hands.

"What?" Steve gasped.

"What other future is there for us other than the one we saw?" He continued. "I mean hey, it's good that we prevented all of the fucked up things we did, but we don't know any further than that. We don't even know this… Age of Ultron thing! We just know the damn title!"

"Calm down, Tony." Bruce smiled. "Relax."

"It's been bugging me, Bruce!"

"Does this happen often?" Natasha pointed.

"It happens on occasion." Bruce nodded.

"Fine, play with the paranoid guy in the room," Tony pouted.

"So what is it that you want us to know exactly?" Steve wondered.

"Seriously though, I'm a bit freaked out."

"I don't think there's anything to freak out about, Stark." Clint said. "It's all going nicely as you said it is."

"Wait until you bite that back into your tongue." Tony pointed accusingly.

"Prove me wrong."

"Thor and Loki are preventing World domination from that crazy warlord elf in Asgard. Shield is now guarding London in case it does happen in Greenwich. Jane Foster's work was relocated just so what she did _won't _happen at all and prevent catastrophe."

Tony took a deep breath.

"Selvig is also being treated to prevent that nude display in Stonehenge," He grinned. "Mind you… that's still funny as hell."

"I think Tony is on to something." Steve said.

"You," He pointed again. "Clint and Natasha are off saving the world, prancing around Hydra, and looking for Barnes, while Hill, Fury and Coulson are all playing their part in this _thing, _while Pepper and I are doing what we can. Give our credibility, the contacts we have, the media coverage in our lives, it basically makes the public our oyster!"

"I think he's gone mad." Clint said dryly.

"What next?" Tony said. "I had Aldrich Killian arrested, convinced Maya Hansen to work with Shield. That Trevor guy is also in prison, but what's next anyway? We know nothing about Bruce's future or Clint's…"

"It's just a thought." Natasha sighed. "Nothing to worry about."

Suddenly the alarm went off.

"_Sir," _Jarvis interrupted. _"You have a guest on the landing pad." _

"Is that the Bifrost signal?" Clint asked.

"That's it alright." Natasha answered.

"Jarvis, give me a visual of the landing pad for the Bifrost." Tony addressed as they stared at the screen that popped up. "Is that— that's Thor right? Wow, he's really changed his look."

"What's he holding?" Steve wondered.

"It looks like—" Bruce squinted.

"Ew." Clint grimaced as he saw it. "It looks like a spawn of something."

"What do you think Thor needs us for?"

"Let's go ask." Tony grinned.

* * *

**oOo **

"What brings the All-Father to this realm?"

Odin stared at the figure on the throne, a smirk played on the person's lips. The two ravens Odin was with, came to sit on the throne of the figure in front of him. Odin watched as the person petted both birds before another smile came his way. Odin stared down the eyes that narrowed towards him, and dismissed the grin that slowly formed.

"Speechless?"

"Answers," Odin said.

"You cannot simply find answers in my realm." The figure laughed. "We know how unwanted you are, despite your power over us. We still have issues and concerns that are yet to be addressed through the council."

"That matters little in this situation."

"That is true."

Odin gave the person no reason for his continued mockery. He eyed as the figure stood up and carefully walked down the small steps, posing a seductive yet threatening way. Strange ghostly creatures hovered through the shadows, their eyes glowing greedily in lust for pure flesh.

"You know something," Odin voiced.

"Noticed have you?"

"You've been making it known in my kingdom and to my sons."

"Tell me, you've kept this secret to yourself?"

"Aye."

"And you think that hiding it from your sons will ease your worries, All-Father? It's not very wise to keep such secrets from your family. Rumors tend to go beyond that of the living to… other places—"

"The shadows were yours." Odin firmly said. "You've been watching. The shadows that Thor saw, and some that Loki saw."

"Tis not I—"

"I know for one that it is not you, who is doing this to Loki." He claimed. "Though you must admit to your curiosity, yes?"

"You've caught me, yes I've been watching."

"Do you know who did it?"

"I have no interest in your son. Not yet, but I have seen more of him lately than anyone else. And here I thought no one can just come and go as they please in my realm. Though yes, I do know who it was, who it _is, _that harmed your son. He took things from me as well. Many things that I want returned."

"Tell me everything." Odin demanded.

"Are you willing to listen, All-Father?" The person laughed. "Are you?"

"For my sons, yes."

* * *

**oOo**

"**There is no place to run, nowhere to hide and no way to escape."**

Squawk.

Loki stopped walking.

He looked up to see the one of the bloody beady-eyed ravens sitting on the ledge above, watching him. Loki felt his hands shake from nervousness. He had been walking the hallway for hours now and there was still no sign of escape. He hadn't even tried to open some of the doors that _begged_ for him to look into.

There were puddles of muddy water and blood on the floor.

The ceiling was leaking, and the stench was awful.

Dead bodies littered the hall way.

Loki knew it wasn't a dream anymore. He knew that he was trapped in the same place where his nightmares usually happened. He didn't know what to do… or how to escape.

He was trapped.

"_Don't move," _He told himself. _"Don't say anything." _

The raven squawked again, its eyes searching.

"_It'll go away on its own." _

The raven tilted its head before flying away, leaving him to wander the hallway alone. However, Loki stayed put, afraid of moving again. He looked behind him, to look for some sort of mark that would tell him where he was, but the place was too huge to remember.

He looked forward, and he still doesn't know where to go.

Suddenly, there was a hair-raising scream beyond the door to his left.

"Mother?" Loki gasped.

She screamed again.

"It can't be."

The scream pierced through the thin air, and there was no mistaking it. It was Frigga's voice, screaming and crying. She was begging for mercy beyond the door. Loki pushed through the door and saw multiple other hallways. It felt like a haunted, bloody maze.

Loki had no idea where it was coming from.

"Nonononono…" Loki looked around. "Mother?"

The scream went silent.

It sounded like she was attacked.

"MOTHER!" Loki shouted.

He didn't care if it drew any attention to him.

When Loki turned his head back to the door he entered from, he saw a pair of eyes looking straight at him. There was a sound of shuffling and tapping, before it disappeared and turned into silence. Loki swallowed, and took out the small pouch of glowing crystals Thor gave him. He gave it a squeeze and held it to him close.

"_I really hope you find me," _Loki wanted to cry. _"Brother."_

He opened the pouch.

There were _Eight_ crystals.

He dropped one by the middle of the open door, and it immediately glowed, bringing life to the dark damp hallway on either side.

Loki heard shuffling and giggling behind him.

Their footsteps hit the puddles of blood and water. He turned in fear and saw figures of children run through the hallways in different directions and into the shadow. They continued to giggle darkly. And just when Loki thought it was going to be alright, he had thought wrong.

_Thud._

Loki stilled.

_Creeeeaaakkk….._

Loki closed his eyes for a moment as the sound continued. He could feel someone breathing down his neck. He could almost hear it say _look behind you. _He couldn't help it. Loki slowly opened his eyes and swallowed bravely. He turned his head and saw the door to his left open.

He looked back to the figures he saw, but they were gone.

Loki couldn't help but think…

What would Thor do?

* * *

**oOo **

The elevator door opened and Thor came out.

"My friends," He said.

His expression worried, full of grief and sadness. He held the doll with a tight grip, hoping to bring all of his anger out on it, but still being gentle enough not to destroy it. It was evidence after all. The moment the team saw Thor, the temperature plummeted and the tension grew thick.

"Hey, big bro!" Tony smiled.

"Hello."

"Are you okay, Thor?" Steve asked.

"Do you want to take a seat?" Bruce said. "You look like you need it."

"Aye," Thor nodded. "That would help."

Thor made his way to the couch and just plopped down in defeat. The others noticed the difference in Thor and immediately tried to help. Natasha nudged Clint to get Thor some water. He followed her order and came back to give it to the god.

"Better?" Clint asked.

"A little," Thor mumbled as he drank. "I apologize for my sudden appearance in your realm. I had no place else to go. I could not find a solution on my own."

"What are you talking about, Thor?" Natasha whispered.

"It has something to do with this."

Tony blinked. "What _is _that thing?"

"This?" Thor lifted the doll. "It is Loki's."

"I never knew you had a freaky version of baby-alive on Asgard." Tony cringe, and it made Clint laugh. "Ugh, I knew Loki was into creepy things, but why would he have that?"

"Baby-alive?" Clint pointed. "It looks like it came out of a Chucky movie."

"I knew not where it came from," Thor said. "It just happened to me in my brother's possession."

Thor handed the doll to Tony, who held it with two fingers and away from him. Tony thought it moved and half-screamed throwing it over at Clint, who dodged it with ease. Natasha caught the doll and eyed it for a moment before placing it on the table for everyone to see.

"It looks like one of your toys." Clint laughed.

"Shut up," Natasha glared. "Why are you here, Thor?"

"Not that we don't appreciate the visit," Steve immediately said. "You look like you've been through a lot."

"My brother is missing," Thor voiced.

It took a while for them to register what was happening.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and walked towards the window. Tony eyed his friend for a moment before turning back to Thor with a shocked expression.

"This isn't a joke, is it?" Tony scowled.

"No."

"He's already been through enough, hasn't he?" Clint mumbled. "What happened?"

"He is missing." Thor palmed his face.

"Is it the Chitauri?" Steve wondered. "Thanos?"

"I don't know."

"How are we supposed to help if you don't know?" Natasha questioned.

"That doll was what was left of any evidence there is." Thor explained. "Loki said there was dark magic involved, but nobody believed him. _I _didn't believe him. We all thought he was mad. He tried to kill himself thrice; I didn't know what to do—"

Thor paused for a moment, breathing uneven.

"He told me numerous times, that it wasn't him." He continued. "But I let it pass my ear, as if I hadn't heard it at all. Loki had been suffering this year. Everyone was against him."

"Damn." Tony bit his lips."

"I am such a terrible brother—I couldn't even stay by his side when he needed me—"

Everyone exchanged glances at the person before them.

Thor looked so broken.

"Thor?" Natasha said softly.

"Aye?"

Thor looked up, his blue eyes glistening with tears threatening to fall. He could trust his mortal friends without having them judge his misery. They wouldn't judge them the way a warrior judges their prince. To them, Thor was just another equal.

"You have enough time." She continued. "Tell us everything."

* * *

**oOo **

Loki was beginning to panic.

His hands shook.

"_I need to get out of here."_

He was lost.

He tried looking for any sense of Frigga, but it was just a cold trail of nothing. Loki had no idea where he was going or where he was headed. He figured that this world was supposed to hurt him mentally. That it was supposed to scare him and make him feel as if he was truly mad.

Loki thought it was _working _rather well.

He had passed a broken baby carriage and heard a child crying from inside it. Loki hadn't dared look, he knew the outcome if he did. He already had enough ideas with haunted children.

"Leave me alone." He whispered.

He ignored it.

The crying of the baby grew louder or softer each time he went through a hallway or a room. The place was still dark and damp, and every time he walked from one place to another, it got colder and darker.

More frightening than anything he knew.

He had _seven _more glowing crystals from Thor.

He picked one from the pocket and allowed it to guide him through the dark and damp corners. Loki's footsteps echoed as he hit a puddle, making a loud splash. Loki wished that it hadn't alerted anyone.

All of a sudden, Loki heard a familiar voice.

"Is someone there?" Loki whispered.

He heard it again.

It was talking normal, not those strange scary noises that he kept hearing. Maybe someone else was trapped along with him. Loki had no idea, but it was worth the shot. He always had his Seidr to help him out. Just as long as he went on instincts, his Seidr would always help him.

"Hello?" He asked. "Is someone—?"

Kkrawww!

Loki stopped and silenced himself.

Squawk!

No.

Those damn birds again.

Suddenly, Loki heard loud singing, the very same singing he had heard the first time. It was rough, forced and unmistakable. The voice seemed drugged, strange and rather lonely. Loki didn't know what to feel when he heard the same familiar tone.

He wasn't mad.

Squawk! SQUAWK!

He was scared.

Krawww! KKkkRAWWW! KKRAWWW!

Were they talking to the birds?

When Loki turned the hallway, he saw a familiar door painted with blood. The stench stronger than it once was before. Curiosity got the better of Loki. He walked forward, carefully avoiding the trail of blood on the floor and the small pieces of meat littering the floor.

"_Not again." _Loki figured.

Loki set aside the glowing crystal on the floor, allowing it to mark yet another place Loki had been through. He just wished that if someone was ever going to find him, that they would understand those little landmarks.

"_This better be worth it."_

He carefully peeked through the door.

"_Please don't see me." _

This time, he was able to see the entire room.

There was a dimly lit fireplace in the left side corner, near rotten animal skin hanging by a string of wires. Heads were pinned to the walls, blood dripping as their tongues hung out in agony.

Loki immediately covered his mouth.

He didn't want to scream, nor did he want to gag.

But it was awful.

"_Calm down." _Loki told himself. _"Keep looking."_

The ravens were sitting neatly on a pile of dead bodies. Their eyes gouged out, their expressions of pure terror. They all hung limp and decaying in the corner. There was a sound of metal piercing metal in the other side of the room. Loki couldn't see it, but he could hear it grinding at each other after a few seconds of silence, as if it was timed.

_Thud. _

"Finally," The man wheezed. "Finally, you—it was your fault they left me—"

Loki steadied himself, and looked at the man who entered from the door at the right side of the room. He was carrying a woman, dress torn and bloody.

"They cared for you more," The man cried. "You! YOU! YOU!"

"_No." _Loki gasped. _"This is not happening!"_

Loki's eyes widened at the figure in the middle that dropped the woman on the table as if it was nothing more than a feast for the banquet table.

He saw Odin hunched over the bloody table.

"Our sons!" Odin cried out. "You took them away!"

"_No, no… it can't be." _Loki covered his mouth to stop his cry. _"No… no…" _

"I'm sorry, love… sweet love…"

Odin had his back turned, and swayed dangerously. He sang a crazy melody that made all the hair on Loki's head stand up. Loki hadn't realized that it had suddenly gotten colder.

Loki pushed the door open slowly.

He stopped when Odin flinched. Loki tried to stay as quiet as he could, so he wouldn't alert him.

"_Norns, no." _Loki shook his head.

When Odin moved away, he saw Frigga, lying on the table with her eyes wide and staring at nothing. Frigga's mouth was open and blood dripped out of it. Loki wanted to gag as he took another peek.

He saw Odin, his one eye gouged out and missing, blood and torn from the socket while the other one left nearly blind and white, beaded like glass.

It matched perfectly with his Ravens.

"Gone!" Odin shouted. "My boy—My child—"

Loki couldn't tear his gaze away from the crazy King, as it dug its fingers into the Queen's dress, tearing her stomach apart. Loki stared in shock, unable to look away. He saw her intestines being eaten by a hungry, greedy King.

The sound of him slurping, that plop as if it was juicy…

_No more…._

Loki couldn't take it, so he stepped back.

Unfortunately, he slipped on the blood and lost his balance. He grabbed the nearest thing he could, and it was the door. Loki stumbled inside of the room, flat on his stomach. Loki pushed himself up in fear, as he saw Odin turn to him greedily.

"Damn." Loki breathed.

The ravens began to sing dangerously, warning him.

"My wonderful son!" Cannibal Odin joyfully smiled and opened his arms. "My sweet boy!"

"No."

"My boy— you've returned…"

"You have the wrong…" Loki blinked. "I'm not your—"

"My son—"

It moved forward stiffly.

"Come home!" Odin grinned. "Come home!"

"Stay away from me!" Loki cried.

Loki made a run for it when Odin tried to tackle him. Loki hadn't felt _fear _and _adrenaline_ mix together in a long time. He was running and Cannibal Odin was gaining after him. Loki jumped a dead body as he turned his head to see Odin slip from the puddle of blood through the hall. His missing eye socket was bleeding.

The Cannibal continued his chase.

Loki wasn't going to get a break.

The creature was relentless.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Loki shouted as he ran a corner. "Please!"

"I'll give you the throne, my boy!"

"I'm not your son!"

"Anything!" Odin shouted desperately. "Anything you want!"

"No, please no!"

Loki hadn't felt so frightened in his life.

He didn't know what was worse, being trapped alone with all those scary things, or being chased through those scary things. Nothing was making anything better. He was trapped all the same. Loki figured it was better to be back with the Chitauri than in here.

At least he knew what was real from what wasn't.

Loki had to distract himself from stopping and cowering. He had to keep running, and he had to keep moving. He couldn't help but think, what happened to the Cannibal's missing eye.

Loki thought maybe Odin _ate_ it himself.

The ravens squawked continuously as they followed behind Odin.

Loki wondered if the impostor was blind or not? He seemed to be following perfectly. Loki rounded corner to corner, passing through different rooms. He found one that seemed the safest option. It had a lot of hiding spots, and nobody was around.

He was alone.

Loki locked the room.

There was pounding on the door.

"Go away." Loki cried, trembling as he backed away from the door. "Please, go away."

"Anything, child!" The Cannibal desperately said through the door. "I'll give you anything!"

Loki shook his head.

"Give me a chance, boy!"

Loki felt so guilty.

Was this because of what he wanted from Odin?

He wanted love so desperately, wanted to be cared for, to be thought more, and now, this _thing _was giving him full attention. It was showing the things that Loki had wanted from the real Odin, but now, it was twisted. Just like every version of the things Loki knew.

It killed Frigga too.

Loki didn't want any of that.

He hated this world, whatever this world was.

"Anything you want!" Odin screamed. "A chance! A chance please!"

Why was it confusing him?

Why was it using his _desires _against him?

Loki looked around the room.

The furniture was covered in dirty white sheets. It was a huge room, but it looked so deserted and frightening. There were weapons, torture devices, it no longer felt safe. Loki could feel another panic attack rising from his chest. His body won't move, won't react. He wasn't going to die here. He wasn't going to let whatever that thing was get to him.

The hinges of the door was creaking.

Loki looked around the room for a hiding spot.

There was a bunch of furniture to hide from. Large cabinets, drawers, couches, tables that were covered in those dirty white sheets. There was also a bed the size of a queen's. There were poles on the corners of the bed, and it had a roof. Red torn sheets draped neatly down the roof of the bed. There was space underneath that could also hide him.

The door was starting to break as the Cannibal's cries got louder.

Loki felt his own heart skip a beat.

"**Like a rat in a maze." **The voice in the back of his head laughed.

Loki looked at the bed.

He needed a hiding spot, fast.

* * *

**oOo **

Thor had told his story.

Everyone was silent.

None of them had any idea what to tell Thor. They couldn't even convince themselves that it was going to be okay, because it wasn't. Tony had the doll scanned, but the traces came back null and void. There was no way to find out who had done this to Loki, and who had taken him.

They had guessed who Loki's enemy could be and it all points to one big picture.

Thanos.

Still, no matter what they do, they couldn't get a possible explanation as to how he was able to get past Asgard's defenses as well as the gatekeeper's. Thor recalled how Loki had described Thanos to be a powerful being that hid his talents. The being was lazy, and allowed others to do the task for him, but he was relentless and unforgiving when failure was right at his face.

That was the only logical explanation they could find.

"Now what?" Clint asked. "How are we supposed to find him?"

"My Father is having Asgard searched," Thor answered. "I figure Mother would be at Alfheim by now. If we get the King's help from there, our search would expand further. Hogun would have no less gone to Vanaheim. Mother would make sure of that. The other realms could wait."

"Do you think he's on Earth?" Bruce wondered.

"No." Thor grimaced. "I do not feel him."

"So you have, like, a twin thing?" Tony asked jokingly.

"A what?"

"A twin thing."

"I don't follow." Thor looked at him strangely.

"Talk to the guy normally, Stark." Natasha crossed her arms. "You're confusing him."

"Fine, a twin thing is," Tony sighed. "It's where you sense what the other person is feeling or if they're near, something like that."

"I could always find Loki, one way or another."

"So a twin thing."

"We are not related, Stark." Thor mumbled. "Not by blood anyway."

"He's already lost Loki once." Steve said to the billionaire. "I think you're making it worse, Tony."

"Am I?"

"A little bit."

"I'm just trying to lighten things up. It's not the first that we're miserable."

"Ease up a bit, boys." Natasha warned.

"_I apologize," _Jarvis spoke up. _"I hate to interrupt, but my sensors are picking up abnormal activity in the room." _

"Where's it coming from Jarv?" Tony frantically looked. "Is it Loki's magical signature?"

"_No sir, it appears unknown." _

"It's not the anything we're working on, is it?" Bruce wondered. "We were testing some of Thor's blood—"

"I don't think so, Bruce" Tony answered. "It's not that."

"Where's it coming from?" Steve asked.

"I know this feeling." Thor said.

"_There is a small portal opening through the glass window." _Jarvis said. _"Would you like for me to collect data from it?" _

"Do whatever you have to." Tony mumbled.

The Avengers each raised their weapon, and readied themselves. Bruce and Tony stood in the corner, while Thor merely sat on the chair, eying the window. They all turned to the window and saw one of the ravens come out from a portal before the portal vanished.

The raven squawked as it landed on the table, staring at Thor. It continued to speak, as if it was conversing with the Asgardian. The Avengers looked in awe as Thor merely stared at the bird, listening intently to what it had to say.

"Am I seeing things right?" Tony squinted. "That's Raven, not a crow?"

"Shh…" Natasha shushed.

"No sign of him still." Thor mumbled as he petted the bird's head. "Is that all?"

Squawked!

"Father went where—?"

"You understand him?" Steve asked.

"Aye," Thor turned and nodded. "He speaks that Loki is not in Asgard, nor is he in Midgard. The search on Alfheim and Vanaheim as well as the other realms were also called off."

"Wait," Natasha grimaced. "I thought they were searching for Loki?"

Squawk!

The Raven turned to her and yelled, flapping its wings.

"Muninn said Father had called it off immediately for his own reason." Thor frowned at the bird. "But why? What was his reason to ruin our search?"

The raven cried out again.

"What did it say?" Clint asked curiously.

"Father had—"

"Sent for me," A voice sounded in the corner by the bar.

Everyone turned to see a beautiful woman, eyes green as a shining emerald with a form darkness laced in her features, her hair soft and long trailing behind her. Her black dress clung to her curves, exposing one leg from a slit at the side.

Thor stood.

"Lady Hela." Thor gaped.

"Hello." She smiled, waving at everyone.

Tony whistled.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Thor." Steve breathed.

* * *

**oOo **

In another world, the door of the room had burst open with a frantic Cannibal King searching for its prey. Desperately rummaging from object to object, lifting up sheets and staining them with crimson. Hiding from his spot, Loki dared not to make a sound. Loki covered his mouth with his hands, afraid a sob or a whimper would come from his lips. He was trembling, he knew it. It was only a matter of time before-

Suddenly, the bed creaked.

The Cannibal turned his head to the bed.

**"Checkmate."**

* * *

**oOo **

**TBC…  
Please review and tell me what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8 - Threshold

**Warning: Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Psychological Abuse and Trauma**

* * *

**oOo **

**Chapter 8 – Threshold **

Hela sat on the couch, smiling at all of them. She had noticed from the moment she had entered that there was tension dramatically flaring from each of the mortals. Hela giggled darkly, as her lips puckered up. The raven, who had once lounged on the table, now sat on the arm of the couch right next to her.

Hela carefully eyed Thor, who was the image of regality and almost a splitting image of a future King Odin. She took off her gaze from him and eyed the rest of the team, and thought, _what an unlikely group of misfits._

"Shall I cut to the chase?" Hela voiced. "Or must I introduce myself?"

"An introduction would be nice." Steve carefully said. "Do you want us to each—?"

"No need, I know you all."

"Really?" Clint gaped.

"I think I would know a pretty lady when I meet her." Tony said.

"Doubt that." Natasha murmured.

"I have met you once or twice in my domain, Tony Stark." Hela said, almost seductively. "You were pulled away from me when your life, so fleeting, roared energy and took you away from me for good. No matter, I will have your souls sooner or later. That is, if you do not reach Valhalla."

"Please do not frighten them, Lady Hela." Thor said sadly.

"Not at all, Thunderer," She smiled. "You and your brother were once afraid of me. I wonder what had changed."

"Perhaps facing danger all the time, counts."

"I know Loki does not fear death anymore, only the pain that comes with it."

"Uh, we're not here to talk about Loki's past, are we?" Tony said, feeling guilty. "I think that's too much of a sore subject to talk about."

"Rude," Hela told him. "But nonetheless a very charming notion."

"So you're the goddess of death?" Bruce piped up.

"Not quite."

"My father sent for you," Thor grimaced. "Why would he go through the trouble?"

"Because I was there," Hela explained. "I was the shadow, who was trying her hardest to point out the problem without so much as saying a word. However, the people in your family are far too dense to notice. Only Loki seemed to be the smart one."

"You have much to explain then."

"I do, Thunderer."

"Then speak."

"A little patience and self-control, please," She put a finger to her lips. "One would think you have the temper of your father and not a single ounce of patience from your mother."

Thor palmed his face, she reminded him so much of Loki. One would think they were related, but that was impossible. Thor leaned back on the couch and thought his words wisely. Hela was a tricky person. Nearly all the rulers were tricky. Thor had to be careful of how he spoke, and weary of where the conversation would lead to.

"My friends," He decided. "This is Lady Hela, the Queen of Hel."

They all nodded to her.

She nodded back.

"Do not mistake me for death." Hela spoke out. "I am not the one Thanos is trying to woo."

"You're not?" Clint gaped.

"No."

"But he's bent over death right?"

"I am not death herself," She expressed. "Death is an abstract entity, one who possesses omnipotence and omniscience. I am merely the ruler of the underworld, a caretaker of souls offered to death."

"A pleasure to be working with you," Steve said awkwardly. "Ma'am."

"Indeed." She grinned. "But I am not here for pleasantries. The All-Father did demand retribution."

"Demand?" Thor grimaced.

"A request then, but it seemed like a demand." Hela shrugged. "His tone with me was quite anxious and full of distress. He was quite adamant that I get going and explain the entire situation to you and your meager friends."

"He had a bargain with you?"

"Only the assurance of my title and rights for my realm to stay intact and nothing more. Your father expressed his wishes to get your dear little trickster, Loki, back home as soon as possible. And get what I want, by the end of it. A simple transaction, a win-win situation."

"Why don't I like the tone of your voice?" Clint frowned.

"Loki and I are quite acquainted."

"What do you know?" Natasha crossed her arms.

"Miraculously so, the Queen of Hel seeks help from you." She pointed out. "You see, I know where dear Loki is, and with my knowledge, we may be able to work out a negotiation."

"You've already negotiated with Thor's father." Tony said.

"Ah, but that is my transaction with him." Hela said. "My realm rights, for my loyalty to the All-Father. But our transaction was just for me to explain to you, not help."

"What do you want then?" Natasha glared.

"Your help, in exchange for mine." Hela said.

"We are listening." Thor said.

"Wait, Thor." Steve said. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah," Clint said. "It sounds like you're selling yourself to her."

"I agree with him." Tony pointed out.

"I want Loki back home, safely." Thor lowered his gaze. "And I know my soul is not what Lady Hela wants, am I correct?"

"I am in no need of any Aesir souls, for now." She smiled. "Just your cooperation to help me."

"What is it that you need help for?" Bruce asked.

"It's simple, really."

"And Loki?" Thor wondered.

"Loki is in a world Thanos created." Hela explained. "It is a world devoid of any means of escape, hope and happiness. It is a living nightmare. It is a series of maze, all designed to look like one of your worst fears."

"A haunted house?" Tony voiced.

"More or less."

"Called it."

"I don't know what frightens me more," Clint muttered to Natasha. "The fact that the Lady of Hel understood that or the fact that Stark brought it up."

"Thanos created this world for Death. I am in need of your help, because the souls used in this damned rip-off creation of a world were taken from the halls of my realm."

"Thanos stole from you." Steve concluded.

"Yes, and ever so uncaring," Hela grimaced. "He believes that taking from my realm would please death, but that is highly unlikely. He will never be able to shape death's preference and approval by his offers. So I looked for a way to tear down his creation. If it is not torn down, the souls collected from my realm will stay in that _closed space_ he created and will result to a stronger world. That cannot happen."

"Because there could only be nine realms," Natasha stated.

"Yes."

"You've told Father this?" Thor asked.

"I did, and he expresses great concern over it and is prepared if things drastically turn." Hela smiled wickedly. "I even have a feeling he will turn to Jotunheim as well."

"What?"

"So desperate is he to win."

"Is there a way to stop it?" Bruce wondered. "It'll throw off the balance—"

"Ah, that's the word."

"Lady Hela, we will help return the stolen souls of your realm," Thor said like a King, earning her attention. "But you must help us by telling us more. Otherwise we will not be able to help."

"Fair enough," Hela narrowed her green eyes. "Thanos is a strong being, he can manipulate to his will if he finds your transgressions against him to be, how should I put it… _unfair_? He created a world of pure terror, beyond what powers we realm rulers are capable of. The more Loki stays inside that closed space, the more it will feed into his nightmares. And the dear boy has quite a lot. More than any of you combined."

"Let me get this straight," Tony coughed. "Thanos created a haunted house world for Loki, used the souls to make it scarier, and the more Loki is scared, the bigger it gets?"

"So rude," Hela smiled at him. "Loki is a living soul. They will latch onto him more because of the energy trapped in his veins. But you are otherwise correct."

"What do we do?" Thor wondered.

"Break the walls that bind it."

"And the souls and Loki will be released?" Natasha asked.

"If you do that, I will come in to recollect them." Hela nodded. "They are mine, after all."

"Now that we established the how," Steve declared. "Where exactly is Loki located?"

"In Niflheim."

"Where?" Thor clenched his fists.

"He is in Nastrond."

Thor turned pale as a sheet, his hand clenched in front of him. He took a deep breath and stood up with a wobbly foot. He lowered his head and walked to the window, taking a deep breath, trying to compose himself so he won't break anything.

"Thor?" Bruce walked forward.

"No," Hela ordered. "Leave him be."

"He's our friend," Steve said.

"I can see for myself."

"What exactly is Nastrond?" Natasha glared at her.

"It is called the Shore of Corpses." Thor took a deep breath. "It is a place that dwells in Hel, where Nidhogg lives. Nidhogg chews on the corpses and roots from Yggdrasil itself."

"Can you elaborate?" Clint raised an eyebrow.

"Nidhogg is a serpent." Hela smiled.

"It lives, it eats and is known as a monster that protects Yggdrasil." Thor said, turning to Hela. "How did Loki get to Nastrond without the Bifrost?"

"Thanos."

"That's still too far away—"

"How bad is it at this Nastrond?" Tony asked.

"It is as translated." Thor swallowed, leaning his head on the glass. "He is trapped there."

"Not quite." Hela said.

"What?"

"Loki is not truly at Nastrond, but the closed space is located there. In the closed space, Loki lurks through it."

"How do we get there?" Natasha wondered.

"We enter Hel first." Hela smiled viciously. "Ginnungagap is a primordial void, literally a gap that separates the North, Niflheim which is a cold dark place and the South, Muspelheim which is a very warm place."

"Sounds like two versions of hell." Clint grimaced.

"It's a place for the afterlife." Thor explained further. "Nastrond is a place for those who are guilty of murder, oath-breaking and adultery. To put Loki in such a place even if it is merely a rift or closed space is an insult."

"I am concerned with these mortals, Thor." Hela chuckled. "They know so little of the Poetic Edda, nor the Prose Edda that was written in their history."

"It's old," Tony excused.

"And full of lies."

"It is?"

"Half-meant truths."

"Make up your mind, Lady."

"Let me give you a lecture then," She said in her own translation. "Nastrond, a hall standing far from the sun, the doors to the Northward it is turned, the venom drops and falls from the halls in which is covered by the serpents back. Here the souls are doomed to stay. A stream of murderers is what they remain."

"We must hurry and leave now." Thor decided. "We need to leave."

"I agree." Hela stood up.

"Wait, Thor. Just let us get our things." Steve said.

"I have seen your capabilities, but I would advise ill that you bring your suit." Hela pointed to Tony. "I doubt you will be able to use it much. More so, if you become a liability."

"That's not gonna happen, Lady." Tony said.

"Why can't Stark bring his Iron Man suit?" Natasha wondered.

"Complications," Hela said.

"What complication?" Tony eyed her. "If we're getting through serious shit, I want to have my comfort zone with me."

"What troubles you, Lady Hela?" Thor narrowed his gaze.

"You will be encountering your worst nightmares in that realm," She explained. "You will not know the difference between friend and foe. To have something so dangerous could also be a fault, unless you are not so trigger-happy, then you may do so."

"Yeah," Clint tilted his head. "I don't want to risk getting shot."

"She's right, Stark." Natasha cocked her head.

"I'm not trigger happy." Tony pouted.

"Maybe you should stay, Tony." Steve suggested. "You and Banner—"

"I think it might be a good idea, Tony." Bruce said. "I don't want to risk this."

"I'm going." Tony glared. "You can't stop me."

"It was only a warning." Hela smiled, walking farther away from them. "I know that Thor, will think first before he reacts, lest he wishes to harm Loki if he were ever to encounter a nightmare. Your dear, Captain, has a virtue more saint like than any other. Your dear Widow, I believe is what you are called? You may be potential to figuring it out on your own, and so does your archer friend. The other two, the jolly green giant is more reckless than helpful, although that would help you with your search and destroy situation. It _will_ cause more damage than naught."

"And Stark?" Thor narrowed his gaze.

"A weapons maker with a penchant for recklessness," Hela smirked, trying to rile him up. "I see no good, when he cannot even control his own nightmares."

"Fuck that!" Tony glared. "I'm going whether you want me to or not! Suit or not!"

"Banner?" Steve turned to him.

"I'll stick with Tony, I suppose." Bruce mumbled.

"We have to tell Fury," Clint said.

"As much as I hate to say it, we don't have the time." Natasha frowned. "If Loki is in there, he might not make it."

"We need Fury to know where we are." Steve said.

"Jarvis," Tony said, glaring. "Once we leave, I want you to send Fury a video feed from when Thor came till we leave, okay?"

"_Of course, sir." _Jarvis answered.

"That's one way to settle confusion." Bruce smiled.

"I _have _my uses." Tony scoffed.

"Is everyone ready then?" Hela smirked, turning to the window. "I have approval from the All-Father to take you to my realm."

"We are ready." Thor nodded.

Hela snapped her fingers and a dark shadow circled the glass window, turning it completely black and mist like. Hela smirked at them and stepped forward into the glass. She passed right through, disappearing to the other side.

"I don't like this." Tony breathed.

"You wanted to come along," Steve said. "You don't get to complain."

"She reminds me of Loki." Clint grimaced.

"You are not alone in that thought." Thor said. "All rulers are devious."

With that, they entered Hel.

* * *

**oOo **

"My Boy!?" Cannibal-Odin asked. "Where are you?"

"_Calm down…"_

"My son! Please!"

"_It's a lie."_

"A chance! It's all I ask for!"

"_I'm sorry."_

Loki covered his mouth, allowing no sound to come out. He was trembling so badly that the bed was making noise. When it did, Loki turned and peeked through the hole. He saw the Cannibal walking closer to the bed. When it dropped down to its knees to look below, Loki felt relief. The Cannibal was confused, and walked away.

"_Norns," _Loki thought.

His heart won't calm down.

It was a good thing that Loki chose to hide on the roof of the bed instead of under it. From up there, he was concealed by the dirty torn curtains. Otherwise, he would have been caught. He had no idea what would happen if he did. Then, the bed creaked again, causing the Cannibal to turn.

Loki tried to stop himself from trembling.

"_No, please don't look up."_

"I know you are here." The old Cannibal laughed. "I—I know it."

"_No…" _

"I—I'll come back for you."

"_No, please don't."_

"I'll come back."

The Cannibal turned away, nodding at himself.

"I'll just come back."

When the Cannibal walked away and his footsteps were echoing softly through the hall, Loki broke down in tears. He couldn't stop trembling, he embraced himself and tried to calm himself, but nothing was working.

He was shaking.

"_I have to get out of here." _He swallowed. _"I need to get out."_

Loki carefully moved himself off the roof of the bed and dropped down the floor. He carefully made his way to the door to look both ways to see if it was clear. Loki had seen the Cannibal turn left, back to his place.

Loki decided to avoid that from now on.

He took out the small pouch of crystals and eyed it.

_Six left._

He took one and placed it by the door. It glowed a faint red color that reminded him of Thor. Loki placed a palm on his lips to stop a sob. He hoped that the crystal would be a smart enough landmark that would remind him never to go through that side again.

Thor…

He really needed Thor.

Loki maneuvered himself by the side of the wall, avoiding the puddle of blood trailing towards the Cannibal's den. Loki continuously looked behind him, just in case he was being followed and he was lucky he wasn't. He walked the hall straight, trying to avoid the intersecting halls, afraid that going left or right would have led him back to the Cannibal.

He went straight and heard a familiar grunt.

He saw a shadow through one of the door, and he couldn't simply ignore it. It might as well be another horrifying image of someone he knew. It just had to be. So Loki walked to it and looked. It looked like the normal Asgardian training entrance.

"_That's odd." _He figured.

Loki pushed the door gently and walked inside, seeing that nobody was there.

"_I could have sworn someone was here."_

Loki eyed the place further and noticed that it looked nearly the same as the one in Asgard. There was a giant door to the left that led to the outside. It was a narrow hall facing the door with an intricate fire place in the middle.

"_I wonder,"_ Loki thought.

It looked similar to the scene Loki had spoken to Thor with during the coronation, but this place was damper and darker, despite the fire in the middle.

"_Maybe if I stepped outside—_"

Suddenly, he heard a sound.

Loki flinched and turned.

He saw the door open from behind him and ran to the curtains by the pillars to the left and hid himself in the shadow. Hoping that the figure would not find him, he couldn't run. He really couldn't bring himself to run anymore.

His peeked through the curtain pass the pillar.

His eyes widened at the scene.

There stood Thor.

"_Is it really—?"_ He swallowed.

Thor wore no shirt and his complexion was dark.

Loki eyed Thor's body riddled with scars, his body was sweaty and bloody, but Loki was smart enough to figure out that it wasn't his blood. Loki eyed as Thor raised a goblet he held and drank from it. He started to walk forward to the fire and threw the goblet in it. Thor had that strange expression on his face that Loki couldn't pinpoint.

Suddenly, Loki heard cheering.

Thor immediately raised his head and grinned maliciously.

"_This cannot be the image of Thor."_

Loki followed his gaze to Thor, who moved to the gate.

He opened it with one push and walked out, his arms up above his head as the crowd cheered. Loki found it strange, how was this terrifying? So Loki followed Thor out, he made sure that no one was behind him as he walked to the gate and peeked through it.

The sky was dark and dangerously bloody as the rocky tiles on the floor were.

There was a massive crowd around the bloody arena, but that's not what disturbed Loki the most. It was the Jotun's tied all over the arena, looking to be slaughtered. The people cursed them, shouted and ridiculed them, but the worst Loki saw was Thor just standing in front of them.

"Do you have any last words, Frost Giant?" Thor said.

The Jotun remained silent.

What Thor did next was inexcusable.

Loki had to cover his mouth again.

Thor had taken an axe and slammed it at the Frost Giant's head.

Thor stepped on the Jotun's shoulder and pulled the axe, allowing it to break free. The Jotun fell and the body still twitched. The crowd had cheered and what was worse that Thor did not stop there. Thor raised the axe and brought it down to the Jotun's body, breaking the skin and doing the same thing he did before. He pulled the axe free and brought it down again. The other Jotun's tied up watched in horror, all while the crowd of Aesir's cheered.

Loki stopped looking and leaned back on the wall.

He slid down and tried to compose himself. He needed to control his breathing, because if he didn't and he had to run, he would be in trouble.

_I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all. _

Was that what it meant?

Loki couldn't bring himself to think anymore.

He could hear Thor's dark laughter from the outside and the sound of his axe colliding with its victim. Loki tried to tune it all out and stop listening to the sounds of death right behind the wall. Loki trembled, and swallowed, trying to gain back some confidence, but he still couldn't look at Thor, he just couldn't.

It was wrong.

That wasn't the Thor he knew at all.

"Do you want me to slay them all?" Thor shouted. "Do you?"

The crowd cheered.

Thor brought down his axe to another, and one by one, Thor finished them all as the crowd continued to cheer.

"They're all gone."

The crowd laughed with Thor.

"No matter, I think I missed one more."

Thor's gaze went to the door.

He walked back to the gate, and the crowd's cheers died down. The arena full of people disappeared one by one, like ink melting into the gaps through the stone. Thor had a lustful grin on him, as he silently walked forward.

Loki still sat there, tuning Thor's voice out. He figured Thor would be too distracted to notice him anyways.

"_I should look for an exit." _Loki thought.

He brought out the pouch of glowing crystals. There were five left and he took one out and placed it right beside him. It glowed a faint red and green, reminding Loki of how he and Thor's colors clashed perfectly together.

"_Four left." _He sighed. _"I shouldn't waste any more." _

He placed the pouch back in his pocket and leaned his head back.

"You must be lost," Thor grinned. "Little Jotun."

Loki jumped, face turning to Thor, crouched up beside him.

How did Loki not notice him?

How did he not hear him?

"Thor…

"The little Jotun Ergi knows my name, how thoughtful."

"Jotun—you think that—"

"I wonder what someone like you is doing at a place like this." He smirked, touching Loki's chin as if they've known each other for long. "I've never seen a Jotun as small as you are. You are quite charming in Aesir form."

"I'm—" Loki quivered.

"Do not dare deny it," Thor laughed. "I've slayed more Frost Giants than I can count. I think I would know one if I met one."

Loki slapped Thor's hand away and stood up, backing away from him carefully. Loki was so glad that Thor hadn't noticed the glowing crystal glowing green and red by the floor. Loki continued back away, while Thor followed his steps carefully, ready to pounce.

"_I shouldn't have left my guard down." _Loki thought.

"Now that is rude." Thor narrowed his gaze. "Someone as fragile as you shouldn't be so frightened of someone like me."

"Like you said, I am lost." Loki answered courageously. "If you could just point the way out, I could leave."

Thor laughed. "We have a jester."

"I should go."

"Why the rush, little Jotun?"

"I _need_ to go."

"Can you not stay a while? We could talk about the other Giants I slayed. You can praise me if you wish, tell me I've done a good job."

"Why would I do that?" Loki said cautiously.

"Because you've done the same, haven't you?"

"What?"

"Seeking approval, looking for attention for the _right _thing you did."

"Killing isn't right."

"That never stopped you." Thor smiled maliciously.

Before Loki could run, Thor was quicker and grabbed his wrist, pulling them in an awkward angle, making Loki scream. He then pinned Loki by the pillar and held his wrist together in front of Loki, making Loki wince and whimper. He used one hand to pin both Loki's wrists while the other hand held firmly on the back of Loki's neck.

"I like the sounds you make." Thor crept closer to his ear.

"Get off!"

"You're different from the other Giants I've met."

"Please—" Loki struggled.

_Not this._

Loki struggled, trying to push Thor away.

He tried to gather his Seidr, but in his panic the threads connecting to them continued to vanish and he couldn't grasp them. Loki felt so useless, and out of all the things that could happen, it just had to be Thor.

_Not you!_

Loki hated being touched, or seen in that kind of light. His time with the Chitauri had ruined his very being, his dignity. He had lost everything when they ravaged and raped him. He would've been able to push everyone else, fight for the ones that did him wrong, he could accept his defeat there, but he wouldn't be able to accept it if it was Thor.

"Please what, little Jotun?"

Thor lowered his hands to Loki's waist and nibbled Loki's neck, pinning him further onto the pillar, making Loki whimper.

Loki's free hands tried to push Thor, but he couldn't break free from the grip Thor had on his waist.

So he tiredly slung his hands by Thor's shoulder, continuing to push with effort.

It was painful.

The small bites on his neck that Thor made, made his knees weak, and Loki couldn't stop thinking about the horrid things the Chitauri did to him. Something that _not-_Thor would do much worse to him, and he would never be able to see _real_ Thor the same way again.

He wanted to die, he really wanted to die.

"I don't want this." Loki sobbed.

He couldn't reach his Seidr no matter how hard he tried. His body wouldn't obey him, and that was Loki's weakness. If he was stuck in that darkness, he would stay stuck. Tears fell from his eyes as his knees buckled, but Thor only tightened his grip on his waist to pull him up.

"You don't want this?" Thor licked his neck, making Loki shiver.

Loki rested his head on Thor's shoulder, unable to move.

He was so tired from running.

So _exhausted._

There was only so much energy he had in the first place until it all disappeared, and he had been through so much. His body just wouldn't work anymore. Thor held him tight, reminding Loki of how much he missed the _real _Thor.

"You don't want this?" Thor repeated, nibbling and sucking his neck.

Loki cried softly. "Anything but this."

He would rather be chased by Odin than touched by this Thor.

* * *

**oOo **

"Pull the lever, Barton!"

"For the last time, Stark!" Clint yelled. "Stop making references about that!"

"Fine, to the bat cave then!"

"I am not robin you ass!"

"You're such a killjoy."

"Natasha," Clint turned to her. "Is it alright if I accidentally killed Stark? I can tell Fury that I couldn't do my best to save him. That I tried so hard, but it was just too late!"

"Sure." She answered.

"You two are a headache." Bruce mumbled.

"I agree." Steve voiced.

"Ugh," Tony frowned. "I hate you guys."

Thor and Hela were walking forward, a little farther than any of them were. Thor wanted to see Loki safely, and as soon as possible. They weren't going to waste any more time. But Hela stopped as she pointed at the gate.

"I want you all to be careful." She said.

"Why?" Tony sighed.

"Because my lovely Garm guards Gnipahellir," Hela smirked. "The entrance to Hel."

"Garm?" Steve wondered.

"A vicious Hell hound that guards Hela's gates," Thor answered for her.

"Once we reach that side, I can safely help you get to Nastrond faster to your brother, trapped within that place. There is a rift there in which the closed space hides, I could lead you there immediately, but there won't be any turning back."

"That's fine." Natasha said.

"Yeah, we did decide this after all." Clint nodded.

With that, the Avengers and Hela traveled pass Garm. The dog lowered its gaze and growled when the Avengers looked at him. They carefully made their way towards a pathway Hela had in her palace.

"This looks normal," Bruce said.

"Talk about gothic." Tony rolled his eyes.

Once they reached the pathway, Hela merely walked forward and dove right through. Thor followed without a word, making everyone question the difference in Thor lately. He was so determined, something they had not seen in a long time. The Avengers followed and nearly dropped when they reached Nastrond.

"Are we there yet?"

"Surprisingly so, yes, Tony Stark." Hela smiled.

"Great."

"Thank you, Lady Hela." Thor said.

"I've only gathered enough strength to help you reach this place," Hela whispered. "I cannot interfere, lest I wish Thanos' upon me."

"And it's okay, if it's us?" Tony glared.

"Oh you test my patience, mortal." She giggled. "I've given you a decision and you made your own choices. Trying to help you any further would only ensnare me into Thanos' cage."

"We did this for Loki," Thor voiced.

"Indeed, that is your sole purpose Thunderer." She smiled. "My soul purpose is to return what belongs to me. Return them and I shall pray that your life be spared by the Norns."

"You have no control what the Norns say."

"I have enough to bind what will I crave, Thor. Your sole would still be a lovely addition, but I do not seek that yet. You have a life ahead of you."

"This is getting weird." Tony whistled.

"Ha, you call that weird, I call every shit weird." Clint laughed.

"We should keep going," Steve said. "Where's the rift?"

"Just walk towards the shore of corpses, straight through and it will lead you there." She pointed. "Be careful, it will feed off your nightmares. I have warned you. The only reason the rest of you are here is because you have a better chance at finding Loki in number. Let us hope you do not fall prey to the horrors that lurk within."

"Thank you again," Thor voiced.

Hela nodded, and disappeared in a flash of green.

"Let me get this straight," Tony said, unable to look at the shore of corpses. "We're going to a haunted house created by every living nightmare that exists and to stop it is to destroy the ones that bind it. Free the souls or whatever. Face your fears, yeah?"

"That is what Lady Hela said." Thor nodded.

"We need a plan." Steve said.

"What plan exactly?" Clint said. "Have Banner smash through everything?"

"That's not a good idea." Bruce muttered.

"I don't agree with that too." Natasha said.

"Can we do this from the inside?" Thor wondered. "I do not want to imagine what horrors Loki is facing right now. I need to be with him. I need to speak with him."

"It's fine, Thor." Steve said. "We'll find your brother."

"I hope so."

With that, Thor walked into the rift first.

"Please tell me it's not really a haunted house." Tony complained.

"Why, you scared, Stark?" Clint mocked.

"In your face, Legolas."

"What has your Iron panties in a twist?"

"What has your bow in a knot?" Tony retorted.

"Good one."

"Come on Cap, I'm tired of this bullshit." Tony pulled Steve in, and they walked into the rift.

"Bruce?" Natasha said.

"I'm going." Bruce ripped his gaze from the bloody water and walked into the rift.

"It's you and me." Clint said. "Ladies first."

"Whatever." Natasha pulled Clint's collar and they both walked in.

* * *

**oOo**

"Please don't be like silent hill," Tony had his eyes closed, saying it like a mantra. "Please don't be like silent hill."

"Tony, open your eyes." Steve said.

Tony did open his eyes, and boy had he never regretted doing something as simple as opening his eyes. The place was full of blood, the walls were damp and cold, the place was in ruins. It was literally a real horror house, but bigger. It was terrifying, just standing in the hallway made Tony's whole body shake, and all the hairs on his body stand up.

"Oh man," He breathed. "It's like silent hill."

"Tony, it's fine."

"I don't like this, Steve. I didn't even like watching the movie."

"Why, is it bad?"

"No. It was too…"

_Scary. _

"Where are the others?" Steve wondered. "They should be here."

"Bruce followed after me," Tony whispered, looking cautiously. "More importantly, where's Thor?"

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**A/N: **Btw, I really want something bad to happen to Loki. xD  
Like really bad that would turn his whole world upside down bad.  
Something bad like DarkThor did it, bad.  
I don't know why,  
maybe it's just the cruel author side of me,  
but I want your opinion on it.

**Review and help me out?**


	9. Chapter 9 - Multiple Separations

**Nancy: **Admit it! You have a surveillance camera watching my every move! I know it! It's either that or I'm getting too predictable or that we have the same mindset _again!_ Ahaha! But not everything is as it seems! Love your review and your help, dear!

**singlelady200: **I like your suggestion, I've already thought about it before and have written it. Loki will fight, but it'll take time. :D

**A/N: **I found out you're all into LokiTorture… wow… guess we're all on the same page then! It made me grin, guys! Seriously, I love you all!

**Be Warned:** **Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Rape, Psychological Abuse and Trauma**

* * *

**oOo **

**Chapter 9 – Multiple Separations**

Thor had no idea where the others were.

He waited for as long as he could in the same hallway, but figured out that they were probably as lost as he was, so he walked away. He knew everyone would be okay if they were on their own. Truth be told, Thor didn't really hold that much love for the Avengers.

He cared for them as friends, but even if they do die on the mission, that was their choice to help him and Loki out. He was thankful that they did though, and that earned them Thor's respect. It would be a shame if they died, which Thor really hope they don't.

Thud.

Thor turned his head to the door and slowly peeked through it.

"Loki?"

He pushed it open and saw Loki's body mutilated in the middle of the room. A huge puddle of blood seeped into the old carpet as Loki stared into the ceiling, dead as a fish. Thor took a deep breath and tried to stomach it.

"Brother—?" He swallowed.

He eyed Loki again, finding something strange.

"_It's not real," _Thor tried to convince himself. _"They are playing us. They wouldn't kill him." _

Thor took a deep breath and turned away from the body. As soon as he kept up his mask of indifference, he heard something fizzle from behind. When he turned to Loki's body, it turned into ink and faded through the carpet and disappeared.

"_Thank the Norns." _

Thor palmed his face and kept walking.

He felt fear for Loki as he kept on walking. He bottled up all the fear he had and feared for Loki the most. He kept hearing Loki's scream and ran to them every time, believing it was him. Instead, he would just see him dead or dying. They were playing at him and his mind, and Thor believed he was ready to go mad.

"Brother?"

Thor spun as he eyed Loki standing in the hall, looking scared.

"Brother?" He cried out.

"Loki?" Thor asked. "Is it—?"

"Thor!" Loki ran forward and embraced him.

Thor felt the hug and immediately grimaced. Loki was crying now and was holding him tightly. His whole body was shaking and his breathing was erratic. Thor couldn't bring himself to return the embrace.

"I was looking everywhere for you." Loki cried out. "I was lost—I was scared!"

Thor knew this was wrong.

Loki wouldn't say those things, wouldn't admit those things fully unless Thor pushed him for an answer. Even broken, Loki would always hide what he felt. It was so wrong, and yet Thor felt his heart tore.

He pushed Loki and backed away.

Loki stared at him with sad eyes, his lips quivering.

"Brother—?"

"I'm not your brother." Thor clenched his fists. "Neither are you mine."

"It's me, Thor."

"You're not him."

"Please, take me home."

"I'm sorry."

"I want to go home, Thor."

"You're not Loki."

"It's me!"

"No."

"Thor, please!"

Thor raised Mjolnir and shot Loki at the chest. Loki collided with the wall and slumped to the ground, gurgling blood and choking on it. Thor turned and looked away, but heard the fizzling sound as the image turned to ink.

Thor clenched his fists and punched the nearest wall.

How could he do that?

Thor stared at his fists as he saw it shaking slightly. He clenched and unclenched it as he took a deep breath and look back. He could faintly imagine Loki's form slumped and dead because of him, and Thor wouldn't be able to live with that if it happened.

How long was he going to hold in this torture?

"_Where are you brother?"_

Thor turned away and continued to look for Loki. Norns be damned if he didn't. When Thor reached the intersecting hallways, he saw something at the far right hall illuminating the dark damp and bloody walls.

"Could it be?" He mumbled.

He walked forward, water splashed under his boots as he pushed to a run.

"Loki?"

He halted the hall and eyed the glowing crystal sitting on the floor.

"My gift," Thor said.

He picked it up and eyed it for a moment. He knew it was the one he gave Loki. He had picked it himself to give to his little brother. Thor held the crystal and pushed the door open, looking inside of it. For some reason, Thor could feel that Loki had been here.

"_I will find you, brother."_

He tried to sense where Loki could be, and he just had to trust his instincts.

Which way?

Thor decided on a path he hoped was right.

He turned _Left._

* * *

**oOo**

"Tony, you have to calm down."

He was breathing erratically, looking like he was about to pass out. He leaned on the wall while Steve stood in the middle of the hallway and dared not to touch Tony in case he lashed out. He held his Shield on his left arm, and really wished he had his outfit to match with it, but they had to make due with civilian clothes.

"Tony, you're fine."

"Would you stop talking?" Tony panted. "Just for a sec, stop taking up my space!"

"I'm far away from you as possible."

"Then move a little more, give me some breathing room."

"You're fine," Steve concluded. "You're just a bit paranoid."

"Paranoid?"

"Come on, we should keep walking."

Steve started walking. So Tony pushed himself off the wall and walked right next to him, afraid that something bad might happen. He kept looking behind him, unable to keep himself from shaking. He really needed Bruce right now.

"You ever try imagining horrible things?" Tony joked. "Like that one in silent hill in the bathroom walking all weird and shit! Have you ever tried imagining it?"

"No."

"What about the pyramid head?"

"Tony…"

"Are you even scared of anything?"

"Tony…"

"Have you seen the horror movie?"

"Tony, be quiet!"

"Maybe you've seen the movie Psycho!"

"You're rambling," Steve breathed. "Just relax. Let's just stop, okay? Is that okay with you? I think you need to stop and just keep breathing."

"We've been stopping over and over because of me." Tony said guiltily. "How long do you think we've been walking?"

"Minutes." He answered. "Could be hours, I don't know."

"I can keep going."

"You should've stayed."

"I know that," Tony glared. "But I want to help. Don't you know that constant feeling of helplessness?"

"I know what it feels like." Steve answered. "I started that way before the serum but that never stopped me from—"

Tony gave him a triumphant grin.

"Okay, you got me."

Suddenly, they heard the Hulk scream somewhere through the corridors that it was loud enough to echo everywhere. They figured that it would have alerted all the other Avengers, including Loki.

However, Loki would probably think it was another nightmare instead of the real one.

"Oh shit, there goes Banner."

Tony swallowed his fear as he took a deep breath, trying to stop his shaking hands from moving. Steve turned to him and patted Tony's shoulder and gave him a smile.

"It's fine." Tony said.

"We need to be careful." Steve muttered.

"Aren't we always?"

"Because Queen Hela said that we won't be able to tell friend from foe."

"How do you know that I'm not an alien pretending to be Tony?" He challenged with a smirk.

"The way you keep talking."

"Oh," That got him thinking, and it made Tony grimace. "How do I know that you're not one of the foes?"

"I don't know."

"Shit," He paled. "Don't say that, Steve! You're creeping me out!"

"We walked together, Tony!" Steve voiced. "I don't think either one of us should be worried if we were replaced."

"We need to find everyone stat!" Tony stated. "Like— before Bruce rips this place apart! I mean seriously—they won't get to Bruce now because he's the Hulk! He'll just smash through the place—"

"How would he know that it's us?"

"Oh man, we're doomed."

"We need to stay out of the Hulk's way. If we do get caught, we need to show him that we're friends." Steve said. "We need to keep going, how big do you think this place is?"

"Beats me," Tony shrugged.

They had seen so many things as they continued to walk. They encountered a lot of dead bodies on the floor, some hanged on the ceilings, their bloods painted the walls and their smell brought a stench so unbearable they had to keep moving.

"It would be funny if we were actually in a cabin," Tony joked. "There just has to be more trees, you know, outside."

"You're rambling again, Tony."

"I don't need you to tell me I'm rambling." He huffed. "I know when I'm rambling."

Suddenly, Tony spun around, startling Steve, who readied his shield. Tony's hand shot at the back of his neck as he stared at the empty hallway behind them.

"What's wrong?"

"I felt someone touch me." He turned to him with a shaky laugh. "It must've been my imagination."

"We should keep going." Steve turned.

"I think I watch too many horror movies." He mumbled, walking with Steve.

When they turned around the hall, they heard a buzzing noise somewhere. It kept getting louder and louder until it stopped. The noise came again, this time from one of the rooms in the hall, so Steve kicked the nearest door and readied his Shield.

But no one was there.

"Come on, Tony."

He walked in hoping that Tony would follow him. Instead, Tony stood in the middle of the giant hallway, facing the door when he heard someone step on a puddle at the end of the hall to the left.

"Steve, I don't think anyone is—"

Tony palmed when he turned his head and saw a bloody, stitched up lady walking upside down. Her body faced the ceiling while her hands and feet were firmly planted on the ground.

"St—steve?"

Tony's eyes widened as the creature stared at him, blood dripping from its mouth. Silently, Tony was hyperventilating and was reaching out to Steve.

"It's all clear," Steve said as he came back out.

"Steve?"

"We can go through the other end to the next—Tony? Are you okay?"

"St—ste—steve…" Tony pointed shakily.

When Steve turned his head to where Tony pointed, his eyes widened.

Suddenly, the creature ran towards them.

* * *

**oOo**

"Stop squirming."

Loki couldn't tell as the events blurred over each other, but he knew it was horrible. DarkThor had pulled him into a room as far away from the first one. Loki hadn't known there were stairs, and it just added to more problems of being found. He tugged at Thor's hand and scratched it, hoping Thor would release him and he could run, but Thor only tightened his grip.

"Try that again and I will break your wrist." He hissed, tugging Loki further.

"Where are you taking me?"

Loki hadn't known his voice was that soft and tiny, but Thor merely looked at him and smirked. Thor pulled him through a series of corridors unlike the usual ones he took. They were _narrow _and damper.

"Where are we going?" Loki asked again.

Thor stayed silent as they reached a giant hall. He tugged Loki through the halls and Thor looked like he was picking a room, and Loki knew his fate was sealed.

"Please, don't do this." Loki begged. "You're my brother."

"You're a little Jotun." He laughed. "I am in no way related to you by blood."

"But you are, by bond!"

"That's a lie."

"Just let me go, I won't bother you."

"Silence!"

That got Loki to shut up, as he allowed Thor to pick a room. Loki did fear Thor, but not to the extent this DarkThor had made him realize. The idea of _sex_ didn't bother Loki at all. He had been _undone_ before, and he told himself that it was fine and he would recover and be safe, but his breaking point was someone he knew doing it to him with no remorse.

The idea of Thor was too much.

He knew this DarkThor wasn't real, Loki knew he had to fight, but he needed rest. If he could rest, just a little bit, perhaps he would have a fighting chance against him.

"I'll make you scream." Thor spoke up.

"What?" Loki blinked.

"Come, I have so many things I want to do to you."

Thor pushed him into a room that looked beautiful and regal, fit for a King. There were bookshelves and long red curtains draped to the floor. There was a carpet in with intricate Asgardian patterns and to the right, was an arc opening to the bedroom.

"I don't want this," Loki whimpered.

"Shut up," Thor pulled Loki and kissed him.

Loki tried to push again, but Thor led him to the middle of the room to push him towards the King sized bed. Loki stumbled at the edge of the bed as he stared at Thor, who walked back to the small room to lock the door.

Loki tried to look for another exit, but there wasn't any.

All he could see was the fireplace that faced the bed, the large curtains draped down the walls, the paintings that hung and drawers on the sides. There were even a two small comfortable chairs and a small round table in the corner between the fireplace and the arc towards the small room.

"Satisfied with what you see?" Thor asked as he came back.

Loki couldn't stop looking at Thor's bare bloodied up chest. He walked past Loki to the other side of the room to get a bowl of water and a cloth.

"You think I live in garbage?"

"But I thought—?" Loki swallowed. "You're not real, how could you—"

"Are my touches not real?"

"They're lies."

"Foolish little Jotun."

Loki sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at Thor as he walked forward and shoved the bowl and cloth towards him. He smirked and pushed his feet to either side of Loki's legs and pushed them open.

Loki squeaked.

"Dare you drop that," Thor warned. "And my wrath you shall have."

Loki carefully watched as Thor merely placed himself in front of Loki. It took two and two together to piece it out. So Loki settled the bowl on his lap and took the cloth and proceeded to use the water to clean the blood off Thor.

"_What is going on?" _He asked himself. _"Why is he making me do this?" _

Thor's hand lifted to Loki's hair as he played with it, confusing Loki even more. There seemed to be a hint of familiarity in there, as well as _affection._ There was only blood in Thor's front and there weren't that many, so it was easy to clean.

Loki sensed a familiarity with the way Thor's hand brushed past his neck, but he knew the difference between the real Thor and the DarkThor. But Loki felt like he was about to lose that ability soon enough once this Thor was done with him.

"Alright that's enough." Thor took his wrist in a bone crushing grip.

"Ow!"

"I'm tired of waiting."

"What?"

He took the bowl and threw it on the floor as well as the cloth. He grabbed Loki's waist and pushed up so Loki could sit in the middle of the bed. Loki was surprised by this and didn't expect it.

"The little sounds you make," Thor laughed as he crawled on top of him.

"Wait!" Loki's hands shot in front. "Please reconsider!"

"There is no negotiating with me."

"Please, don't this, Thor!"

"You're a spoil!" He laughed. "I don't listen to people like you."

With that, Thor proceeded to take off Loki's clothes. First, he ripped off Loki's boots, then his shoulder guards, and the leather straps connecting to his chest and waist. He also took off the leather coat and the leather shirt Loki wore, leaving him with his soft and thin under tunic and pants.

"You wanted to be loved, don't you?"

"Thor, stop."

"This is the only way I can love you."

Loki was about to protest when Thor began to kiss him desperately, but he was too disoriented to do anything. Loki knew his fate was sealed the moment he gave Thor the opportunity. Now Loki couldn't stop thinking about what DarkThor said…

_The only way I can love you…_

What did he mean?

* * *

**oOo**

Steve grabbed Tony and pulled him into the same room he knocked into and found a way to bolt the Thor using the desks by the wall. Tony was hyperventilating silently in the middle of the room, unable to keep his eyes off the door. On the other side, the woman was screaming and banging on the door.

"How do you think she's capable of doing that?" Tony wondered. "Her body is backwards, how could she—"

They heard the sound of her hands and feet splashing through the puddle of blood and water, and the screaming got louder.

"Was that one of yours?" Steve asked, panting.

"I guess I have a b-big imagination?" Tony shook. "W-watch too many movies, you know?"

"We need to leave, come on."

Steve pointed to the other side of the room where a door was already open.

"Do you think this hallway connects to the other hallway?" Tony wondered.

"I don't know."

When they were about to walk to the other door, the banging stopped, making the two of them turn around in fright. Tony turned to Steve, who looked at the door strangely.

"Maybe she left?"

"C-can we keep m-moving?" Tony said.

Steve tugged Tony's hand as the two of them decided which way to go.

"Right or left?" Tony asked.

"I don't know which way." Steve panted.

"Not left!" Tony shouted. "Rogers!"

The Lady from earlier was now at the end of the long hallway running with her hands and feet, her body backwards and blood trailed down her body.

"Now we know it's a connecting hallway." Steve said.

While Tony stayed frozen from where he was, Steve manned up and threw his shield at the lady. Tony could _seriously _compare it to squashing a bug, a _huge_ bug. Steve didn't stop there. When he got his shield back, he rounded her and slammed her to the wall and slammed her again until she stopped fighting and slid down, body in tangles.

"Oh god…." Tony mouthed, turning away.

She disappeared with an inky display and dissolved to the ground, nothing more than a terrible reminder.

"W-what was that?" Steve gasped.

"At least it wasn't a human centipede?" Tony joked, shaking badly. "Th-that's more disgusting than terrifying."

"We need to find the others quickly." He said. "If these things just come out of our imagination and the things we might fear, it won't help us look for Loki. We need to calm down and keep walking."

"Right, no more talking about nasty things."

"Show no fear," Steve said. "It's how we're going to get through this. Right, Tony?"

"So the rule of face your fears don't apply?"

"Yes."

"Got it."

* * *

**oOo **

"Let's go left."

"We already turned left." Natasha argued.

"Then let's go straight." Clint pointed.

"We go right."

"What if we just go back?" He said. "Take a different route?"

"You'll only get us lost."

"Oh come on, Tasha!" He palmed his face. "We're already lost!"

"Do you want me to feed you to those creatures we faced earlier?" Natasha glared, crossing her arms. "The ones with the stitched up eyes, toothy mouth, and arms twisted to look like they're a human straight jacket?"

"They couldn't even see us!"

"But they could hear us, Clint." She sighed. "I'll push you back to that hall and let them chase you."

"They're still headed this way though, right?" He asked.

"We'll make distance anyway, they walk slowly."

"Slowly, are you kidding me?" Clint scoffed. "They were running towards the damn sound. They're mental patients with stitched up eyes and mouth ready to chomp at your guts!"

"You watch too many horror movies."

"Shit, you don't think Stark voiced out more creatures for this place to imagine up, did you?"

"Maybe,"

"Don't say that like it's an okay thing to say."

"Whatever," She squinted. "It's too dark here."

"At least I have this." Clint took out a light.

"You're still keeping that thing?" Natasha raised an eyebrow. "It's just a piece of jewelry, it could even be contaminated."

"Jewelry, please!?" Clint laughed. "Who would find jewelry in an entrance to a bloody arena? This glowing crystal is our ticket to the dark. It's even glowing red and green, which reminds me of Christmas."

"Yet we're still at Halloween."

"Back to my question, where are we headed?" He complained. "We've been standing at this intersecting hallway for minutes now."

"I—"

"Do you hear that?"

"I hear it."

The floor rumbled, as they watched two torn up dogs headed towards them from the middle hall. Clint raised his bow and took an arrow, aiming it at one the middle of the two. Natasha dug out her knife from her thigh as she looked closely.

"Those dogs look like the ones from that famous zombie movie." Clint pointed out. "Want me to shoot?"

"No, don't fire."

"What?"

"Don't waste your shot."

"Tasha, move!"

Clint moved to the left of the intersection, while Natasha rolled to the right. The dogs moved past and continued to run, but the rumbling sound didn't stop. It only got bigger and louder.

"What was that?" Clint gasped.

"I don't know."

"What were they running from?"

Natasha shook her head.

"Hell, the floor is still moving—" Clint narrowed his eyes in the dark when he peeked through the corner. "Oh no! Oh holy mother of—"

"Clint?"

"Stay where you are, Nat!"

The rumbling got louder and there was a loud roar. A huge pack of dogs of the same bloody torn up flesh came running through as the _Hulk _emerged, barreling down the hallway in pure rage. He slammed his fists on the walls, and dented them severely as he roared over and over, catching one dog and throwing it at another.

"Looks like Banner's having fun." Clint breathed, turning to Natasha. "You okay?"

"Fine," She sighed. "Count ourselves lucky Hulk is on our side."

"What made him angry?"

"Maybe he's a cat person."

"Aren't we going after Banner?" Clint said, as they heard Hulk's scream fade down the corridor. "It would be nice if he's on our team."

"Do you want to calm him down?" Natasha scoffed.

"I thought we wanted to regroup?"

"It's finding Loki, or finding everyone. Our chances of finding Loki are slim. If we try just looking, we'll bump into one of the others soon enough."

"Sounds like a plan," Clint agreed. "But what I would give to sit on Hulk's shoulders and—you're going to make a joke out of what I'm going to say, aren't you?"

"Maybe," She smirked. "Let's keep going."

"We're going straight then?"

"Let's hope Hulk chased every creature from that part of the hall. That's where we count ourselves lucky."

"We wish."

* * *

**oOo **

Thor nibbled Loki's lips and ground his hips against him. Loki whimpered, but he didn't want to give DarkThor the pleasure of seeing him become undone.

Loki knew he had to fight.

Why make it easy?

Even weak in body and mind, he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

He wasn't dumb either.

Thor placed his hands on Loki's waist, slowly moving his hands underneath Loki's tunic as he kissed him deeply, not giving Loki any room to breathe. Loki pushed, and kicked his legs in a desperate need to escape, but Thor's weight pinned him down.

Loki writhed underneath him as Thor continued to ravage him.

"I never had a tiny Jotun like you before." Thor mouthed.

He kissed him again and ground his hips, moving in a pace that made Loki's head swirl.

"Ah, have you been touched before?"

"Stop this."

"Admit you like it."

"No!"

Thor ground his hips again and bit Loki's neck, they both moaned as Loki arched his back a little, giving Thor the advantage. When Loki realized what he had done, it was already too late. Thor had lowered his hands to Loki's hips, down to his back and pushed a finger inside, making Loki squeal.

"No!" Loki pushed. "Get off me!"

"I'm not done with you," Thor kissed him again, and Loki tried to bite but Thor wouldn't let him. "Naughty, little Jotun Ergi."

"No, please no." Loki cried out.

His head fell on the bed, as his body shuddered when Thor pushed in and out. Loki covered his mouth in an attempt to cover the sounds coming out of his lips. Thor only smiled at this. He pushed in and out as Loki bit his lips. His hands fell to either side of Thor's arms and scratched at it.

"Ah—stop." Loki stared at the ceiling, head swaying.

"But you love it."

Thor added another finger, making Loki shake underneath him. Loki's nails dug deeper on Thor's shoulders as Loki felt completely warm and used. He didn't like it, he had never even thought of doing this, let alone with Thor out of all the people.

Loki let out a shaky breath as he groaned.

Thor laughed, "Now we're getting somewhere."

* * *

**oOo **

"_Where are you, brother?" _Thor looked around.

Thor was very lost.

He was beginning to lose hope that he would ever find someone. He figured that Loki would be mad by now, truly mad and not just an accusation anymore. Just when Thor thought he was getting into Loki's mask of indifference and through that shell of loneliness, he was yet again pushed as far as he could go.

While Loki was already in the dark, Thor found himself succumbing to it as well.

It was _maddening! _

He had no idea what to do.

The feeling of emptiness, fear and being along didn't help.

Now, Thor knew exactly what Loki had meant when he had described the void and his nightmares. It was truly a terrible thing to feel. Although he hadn't experienced the full brunt of it, Thor could already tell the rest won't be pleasant, and he could only imagine what horrors Loki had faced in his time alone.

It was terrifying.

To feel so useless,

To feel so alone,

Thor wanted to embrace Loki if he ever saw him again. He would apologize, and then beg for forgiveness, and he would do his best to protect Loki. He needed to make sure that Loki came out in one piece. He would do this for Loki and for him alone. Praises from Asgard be damned.

Thor stopped walking.

"_What is that?" _Thor thought, turning his head to the sound.

Thor's eyes widened when he saw a pack of dogs running towards him. Thor swung his hammer around, but they all avoided him, leaving him standing there in the middle. He turned to the direction where the dogs were headed to.

"What in the nine realms?" he wondered.

Suddenly, there was a roar behind him and Hulk barreled down the corner, holding one of the dogs tightly in his hand. Thor jumped out of the way into a room to avoid getting hit. He stood up to see Hulk turn right, following angrily after the dogs.

"Banner?" Thor voiced.

He stood up and ran after him.

"Banner! It is _I _Thor, your comrade!"

Thor followed him until he had lost sight of his green Avenger. Now, Thor was even more lost than he was before, and it was an entirely new area than before. He walked down the hall until he heard something crash from one of the small doors to his right.

He stopped walking and turned to the door, pushing it gently.

"A staircase?" He mouthed. "But I thought—"

Norns be damned, there were floors?

Thor lifted Mjolnir and allowed it to spark lighting, allowing some form of light through the narrow stone staircase. Thor didn't want to use the crystal he gave Loki because he might drop it. When Thor reached the lower staircase, he could hear singing through the door. He pushed the door open with all his might and saw litter of body that once blocked the door he moved. He eyed the hall, so many trailed the entire hallway.

It almost looked like a _collection. _

Their blood, their guts, and their stench covered the floor like it was home. It was a bloodbath of corpses.

"_What in the nine happened here?" _Thor snapped his thoughts to…

Singing.

Thor turned to the all too familiar singing voice.

He carefully walked past the dead bodies and headed to the direction where he could hear a soft tune of an old man, with his raspy voice, sing with despair and guilt.

"_I hope you're safe, brother." _

* * *

**oOo**

Loki wouldn't stop writing beneath him. DarkThor had pushed three fingers in and was working his way to stretch Loki, undoing him further and further.

"Ah, the sounds such a delight," Thor nibbled Loki's lips.

Loki moaned again.

He was gone, lost in pain, pleasure and the thoughts of his own brother raping him. Thor had enough playing with Loki. The little Jotun was already wet and weak from the struggles he put up and Thor was so sure that Loki had enough fighting for one session. Loki had fought Thor earlier when he pushed two fingers in. Loki had clawed and kicked, but Thor with his strength pinned him and ravaged him further, allowing the third finger to ruin Loki.

Of course, all games came to an end.

He pulled his fingers out, receiving a long sigh and panting from Loki.

Thor smirked as he pulled Loki's pants off, exposing him. This made Loki jump to sit up and used his tunic to cover himself. A deep flush of _red _rushed up Loki's face in embarrassment and shame.

Thor growled, "You dare?"

"Please, you've had your fun." Loki cried out desperately. "Just let me go."

Thor pulled at Loki's hands and twisted his already injured wrist, making him cry out in pain. He pushed Loki's chest back down, _opened _Loki's legs and lowered himself down to Loki's hips. Loki groggily blinked and stared at the ceiling, questioning what Thor was doing.

Until he felt Thor's hot breath on his…

"No!" Loki shouted, but Thor already took him in his mouth. "Ugh, s-stop, p-please- Ah… e—enough! I don't want this!"

Loki's face flushed as his body gave in; his legs shook as Thor held his hips down. Loki fell back to the bed and fisted the sheets, trying not to make more sounds that would give DarkThor satisfaction.

The tears gave him away, as Loki sobbed in desperation.

He gasped and released, shivering when Thor cleaned him and nibbled on his thigh. Loki cried, and kept crying and the tears won't stop pouring down.

Is this what he was reduced to?

Loki closed his eyes, unable to look anymore.

Thor pulled his hips towards him, looking at Loki panting heavily and crying. Thor shook his head as he lifted one of Loki's legs and angled himself. Loki's eyes widened as he shot his hands to Thor's chest in an attempt to push.

"No," He cried. "Please no!"

"I don't listen to you, little Jotun."

Thor pushed in, and Loki screamed.

* * *

**oOo **

"We're going to die, aren't we?"

"What?" Steve turned to him. "No! What are you talking about?"

"I don't think I can stomach any of this, Steve."

Tony had been lagging behind, but Steve was always there to help him pick up the pace. They stopped, but every time they did, something bad usually happened, so they kept going, hoping that they could find someone they would be able to trust.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"I'm fantastic."

"You're exaggerating," He breathed. "It's okay to be scared, Tony."

"I'm not scared," Tony scoffed. "Just disturbed, I'm not like you who can stomach this."

"You think I'm not scared?"

"Cap, let's face it. You've been through war. You've seen blood, injuries and big wounds. I haven't. I saw myself, in a mirror, wearing a piece of metal stuck to my chest. I'm glad I got rid of it, I swear, but hell, I've never been through this before."

"When you put it that way…"

"Can we take a break for a second?" Tony said suddenly.

"Sure, I'll keep guard."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Steve said worriedly. "You're not having a panic attack, are you?"

"Not yet," he laughed quietly. "Must be the draft, making me woozy."

Steve wasn't buying it.

They stayed like that for a while, until they heard a scream. It was loud, desperate, unlike the other screams they heard. It was real, full of emotion and pain.

"That's—"

"It's Loki!" Steve ran.

"Wait!" Tony called after him. "Steve!"

"Tony, hurry!"

"I'm hurrying!"

"Thor's counting on us!"

"I know that!"

"Loki's in danger!"

"Steve, wait! You can't just run!"

Steve ran to the hall where Loki screamed, turning the corner, readying his shield. He knew Tony would follow, Tony always followed. Tony did run, but when he turned to the corner Steve was gone.

Tony stood in the hall, looking left and right.

"Oh no," He took deep breaths.

He was _alone._

"S-steve? W-where'd you go, Cap?"

Tony heard something scratch the walls, and an object sounded from the hall behind him. Tony swallowed; it was stupid for Steve to leave like that.

"C-cap?" He whispered. "N-no…"

He was alone.

Tony walked to where Steve had gone, and he entered a room. When he entered the room, it looked like a small gym from a high school. It was huge. In the middle of the gym was a huge indoor pool with bloody broken tiles surrounding it.

There were trees growing from the broken tiles, and the bleachers, some of the roots reached towards the pool, covering the gym like a fairy land. The water was sewer like, and a bit bloody, it made Tony cringe.

"_I'm not going past that." _He breathed.

Tony turned back to the door he went from and turned the knob, but it won't budge.

"Oh no, no! Don't do this to me!" Tony panicked.

He leaned back on the door, staring at the gym. There was a door at the other end, he just had to get past that and walk at the side of the pool, the narrow walkway at the _side… _yep, and he just had to go through that.

"_Get yourself together," _Tony thought. _"There's nothing remotely scary about this. Except if something pops up from the water, yeah, how convenient for me to think of that." _

"Steve?" He called. "Cap?"

Tony heard something shuffle from behind the door.

Where was his suit when he needed it?

* * *

**oOo**

**TBC…**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

_**A/N: **That was the first time I ever wrote smut__ like that. *covers face* _  
_I'm blushing so hard right now, but you guys wanted it! _  
_You guys said you LIKED torturedLoki!_ _Gah! _  
_Anyways, I hope you like it!_

**Reviews fuel me to post faster! xD**


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